Just call me Thor
Chapter 580:  The corpse is talking

Chapter 580:  The corpse is talking

The birth of a new Lord among humanity was undoubtedly a cause for celebration. 

However, the commotion caused by the Lord's breakthrough didn't go unnoticed. 

From the four cardinal directions, terrifying auras rose one after another, suppressing the disturbance in an instant. 

The newly ascended Lord, caught in the eye of the storm, was crushed by the residual pressure of these auras. His body sank, his face twisted in agony, and his complexion turned beet red. He couldn't utter a single word. 

Compared to these auras, the Lord was like an ant facing a herd of elephants—insignificant and utterly powerless. 

Ultimate Lords. 

The newly ascended Lord's eyes were filled with shock and terror, as if a storm was raging within him. He couldn't calm down. 

After all, humanity only had a handful of Ultimate Lords. 

For four of them to appear here… 

Did this mean humanity had abandoned all strategic buffer zones and concentrated all its power in Florida? 

What were they planning?! 

Countless thoughts flashed through the Lord's mind, only to vanish as quickly as they came. 

Because… 

A lunatic appeared before him. 

---

Shadow Two, stimulated by the auras of these Ultimate Lords, regained some clarity. 

She suddenly remembered that she was actually quite strong herself. 

For example, she was very skilled at sealing memories. 

A streak of black light flashed, and the newly ascended Lord's vision went dark. He fell straight backward, unconscious. 

Bad Woman whispered, "Bad guy, did you just kill him?" 

"How could I?!" 

Shadow Two retorted, "I've sealed your memories over a hundred times without any mistakes. How could I mess this up?" 

Bad Woman: … 

"Bad guy, I'm going to fight you!" 

Just as Bad Woman was about to make a move, another streak of black light flashed before her eyes. 

She looked at the unconscious Lord on the ground and whispered again, "Bad guy, are you sure you didn't kill him?" 

"Hmm, I accidentally killed him. It's all your fault!" 

Bad Woman: … 

Not long after Shadow Two made her move, a low-profile truck passed by. 

The moment the truck rolled over the Lord's body, the Lord vanished—taken away by someone. 

The street returned to its usual calm, as if nothing had happened. 

Shadow Two, who had just regained some clarity, went insane again. 

"Third aunt! Third aunt!" 

Shadow Two stared at the five-dollar bill in the cup, her face full of disdain. 

"This doesn't look like fortune-telling. It looks like begging." 

Apollo shook his head, confused. 

"What's the difference?" 

For a moment, Shadow Two was at a loss for words. 

Unable to argue, she changed the subject. 

"Third aunt, doesn't fortune-telling consume a lot of energy?" 

Apollo didn't deny being called "third aunt." After all, he was currently Shadow Two's guardian. 

Apollo shook his head again. 

"I'm just fortune-telling. But the questions they ask don't require calculations." 

How to break through to Lord? 

Did such a question really require Apollo to calculate? 

That would be underestimating him. 

"Ah! I get it now!" 

Shadow Two's eyes lit up as she had an epiphany. 

"Third aunt is the fairest of all. Five dollars only gets you five dollars' worth of conversation!" 

Not a penny more. 

Apollo nodded slightly. That was correct. 

In Apollo's eyes, the value of giving a Chief a few pointers and five dollars wasn't all that different. 

The lunatic continued to accompany Apollo as they set up their stall on the street. 

For the entire afternoon, Apollo earned exactly five dollars. 

---

As evening approached, Apollo packed up the stall and began heading home with Shadow Two. 

Shadow Two crawled on all fours, twisting and writhing on the ground like a worm. 

"Third aunt, where are we going?" 

Apollo replied casually, "Off work. Going home to cook." 

From his observations over the past few days, Apollo had learned that most people got off work at five. 

On the way back, they passed a towering skyscraper. 

It was a property of Mystic Market. 

An electronic screen on the building displayed scrolling text accompanied by a narrator's voice. 

Apollo stopped in his tracks. 

The lunatic stopped as well. 

Apollo tilted his head slightly, looking up at the screen. 

Shadow Two mimicked him, tilting her head as well. 

But she forgot she had been crawling on the ground. Her head tilted nearly 180 degrees, her neck twisting like rubber into an exaggerated angle. 

A nearby woman glanced at her, didn't even scream, and fainted on the spot. 

Before the woman could hit the ground, two men in black suits emerged from the crowd and quietly took her away.

---

Shadow Two read the content on the electronic screen. 

It was a routine update summarizing Thor's achievements since his emergence. 

Such news was no longer newsworthy these days. 

But Apollo stood there, staring at the screen, lost in thought. 

---

Not far from Apollo, a massive golden coin floated above the clouds, concealing its presence. 

On the coin, Foreskin paced back and forth, his face full of worry. 

"What should I do…" 

"Foreskin, take a break." 

Maxen yawned and offered a suggestion. 

"If all else fails, I'll go replace my Second Godfather and ask him to release Thor." 

Ever since Thor's appearance, Maxen had developed a new habit: 

Whenever he encountered an unsolvable problem, he'd go straight to Thor for help. 

And it worked like a charm! 

As long as Thor got involved, everything would turn out fine! 

But… at what cost? 

Maxen glanced at his empty wallet and felt he hadn't paid any price at all!

"I already tried…" 

Foreskin sighed. 

"How could I sit still with something this big happening? I went to Ares, but he said he couldn't release Thor either. He did say he could send me in, though…" 

Maxen: … 

---

After parting ways with Shadow Two, Foreskin had been worried she'd cause trouble, so he'd hidden himself and followed her. 

To his surprise, Shadow Two had actually led him to Apollo! 

He'd found Apollo. 

But now what? 

Foreskin was completely at a loss. 

Was he supposed to walk up to his boss and ask, "Are you out for a stroll?" 

No one had ever encountered a situation like this before! 

---

Maxen, ever the schemer, came up with another idea. 

"Then let's replace my First Godfather!" 

As a rule, Morpheus was only to be contacted in the most critical situations. 

But wasn't Apollo's current state the very definition of critical? 

Foreskin frowned even more deeply. 

"I already tried. No response." 

Morpheus' true state was a mystery even to Maxen. 

That wisp of a soul only appeared when it wanted to. 

Hearing this, Maxen actually relaxed. 

"That just means my First Godfather doesn't think it's a big deal." 

"If only it were that simple…" 

Foreskin muttered, still conflicted. 

At that moment, a voice came through Foreskin's communicator. 

It was Professor Gregory. 

This matter had already surpassed any priority level. 

The top concern for humanity now was Apollo. 

Professor Gregory, after much deliberation, offered his advice: 

"Actually, Shadow Two's method… is feasible." 

---

Shadow Two's method? 

Maxen was stunned. What method? 

Foreskin, on the other hand, frowned deeply, full of doubt. 

"Can that really work?" 

According to Shadow Two's logic: 

Apollo was living as a normal person, so they should also live as normal people. Eventually, they'd meet him. 

From a theoretical standpoint, it was utter nonsense. 

Even the worst novelist wouldn't write such a cliché. 

And yet… it had happened. 

Apollo became a psychiatrist, and Shadow Two became his patient. 

Foreskin shook his head slightly. 

"If we don't deliberately approach my boss, the chances of encountering him… should be slim." 

He understood Professor Gregory's point: everything had to be completely random, with no deliberate actions. 

Because only Apollo knew what he was experiencing. 

If they tried to intervene, it might backfire. 

But with no other options, Foreskin had no better ideas. 

"It's worth a try." 

He turned to Maxen and reminded him, "You must act entirely within the logic and abilities of a normal person." 

Maxen nodded but immediately stumbled, falling off the golden coin and crashing into the ground, leaving a massive crater. 

When Foreskin dug him out, Maxen had only one question: 

"By normal logic, shouldn't I be dead?" 

Foreskin: … 

He suddenly realized this city had a strange charm—it seemed to drag everyone's intelligence down to Shadow Two's level. 

"Yes," Foreskin replied dryly. "A normal person would definitely die from that fall." 

Maxen stroked his chin thoughtfully. 

"Then you'll have to handle my funeral. The rest is up to you!" 

With that, Maxen tilted his head and stopped breathing. 

Even a Lord-level expert examining him would conclude he was dead. 

Of course, he wasn't actually dead. 

Foreskin: ??? 

He was nearing his breaking point. 

His boss was acting strange, and now these people were losing their minds too! 

Foreskin stared at Maxen lying in the crater and briefly considered burying him there. 

It seemed like the logical thing to do. 

"Phew—" 

Maxen suddenly opened his eyes, exhaled, and said seriously, "I want a grand funeral!" 

Then he tilted his head again, even sticking out his tongue. 

"Ah, I'm dead!" 

Foreskin was utterly speechless. 

He didn't bother digging Maxen out or burying him. 

Instead, he walked into town, penniless, determined to live like a normal person. 

An hour later, Foreskin returned with an excavator.

"Right here. My nephew fell out of a plane and died. Dig him up for me." 

"Got it, boss!" 

The excavator operator worked diligently. 

This millionaire boss was clearly loaded, spending money like water! 

When Maxen was finally dug out, Foreskin had become a billionaire. 

He made a call to Joseph. 

"Joseph, come help with Maxen's funeral." 

"Manager, that's against the rules!" 

Joseph had also received Professor Gregory's instructions and was prepared to live as a normal person. 

Why should he listen to Foreskin? 

Foreskin's next words shut Joseph up. 

"I'll pay you 500." 

Joseph hesitated. "Gold Coins?" 

Foreskin, already in a foul mood, snapped, "Dollars!" 

What the hell?! 

$500 to get a Nine-Star Lord to handle a funeral? 

Joseph was about to explode, but Foreskin's next words silenced him. 

"If you don't take it, where are you sleeping tonight?" 

Joseph: … 

"Boss, give me $50 first so I can catch a cab!" 

---

Half an hour later, a sweaty Joseph arrived at the scene of Maxen's "death." 

Foreskin, seeing Joseph drenched in sweat, confirmed he hadn't used any powers and was genuinely acting like a normal person. 

For a moment, Foreskin found it amusing. 

"Didn't I give you money for a cab?" 

Joseph wiped his forehead and replied matter-of-factly, "I ran here to save the $50. Why waste it on a cab?" 

After catching his breath, Joseph looked at Maxen's "corpse" and sighed. 

"Man, why'd you have to go and die?" 

Then he turned to Foreskin. 

"How much are you planning to compensate me for losing my friend?" 

Foreskin's only response was, "Get lost!" 

He tossed $50,000 at Joseph and told him to keep playing along with Maxen's antics. 

As for Foreskin himself, he needed to come up with another way to replace his boss. 

Sitting beside Maxen's "corpse," Joseph began counting the money. 

"Brother, if you have any last words, just let me know. I'll do my best to fulfill them…" 

A faint voice came from Maxen's throat. 

"Got any booze? I'm thirsty." 

Joseph: … 

"The corpse is talking!" 

After counting the money, Joseph slung Maxen over his shoulder and headed to the nearest funeral home to "handle the arrangements." 

---

Nightfall. 

The faint glow of firelight illuminated the entrance to the funeral home. 

Another person had died today. 

Two figures appeared outside the funeral home: Apollo and the lunatic. 

"Third aunt, we can't charge so little this time!" 

Shadow Two carried a large bag filled with various items, though it was unclear where they'd come from. 

Apollo nodded, indicating he understood. 

He now looked like a priest and even spoke a few simple words: 

"When someone dies, if no special measures are taken, their soul cannot be preserved. What remains is merely a psychological comfort for the living…" 

Shadow Two didn't understand a word of it. 

He only cared about one thing. 

"Third aunt, how much are you planning to charge?" 

Apollo thought for a moment and offered a reasonable number. 

"Ten dollars." 

Shadow Two: … 

Fine. Ten it is. 

Shadow Two's eyes darted mischievously as he asked tentatively, 

"Third aunt, if you're only charging ten dollars, can I perform a little talent show at the funeral? Maybe the family will tip me?" 

Apollo considered this and corrected him. 

"You must be mindful of your behavior. Don't do anything excessive." 

"Got it! Got it!" 

Shadow Two nodded enthusiastically. From Apollo's tone, it seemed like this was allowed. 

Just as Shadow Two was about to approach the family to negotiate, Apollo walked over to the coffin. 

The coffin was barely thicker than cardboard, with electronic screens on all sides playing looping music. It was incredibly flashy. 

Apollo glanced at the coffin and shook his head. 

"Alive."