Akuyaku Reijou ni Nanka Narimasen. Watashi wa『Futsuu』no Koushaku Reijou desu!
Chapter 172.1: The reason for being called.

Chapter 172.1: The reason for being called.

This time, I have been officially invited to Wolfanea. I should have noticed. Or possibly, I should have done preparations. At the very least, I should have spoken to Jash.

I only noticed… because of a hint. However, I noticed it too late. If I knew, if I noticed, I wouldn’t have come! I should have feigned illness or something and refuse to come! I vehemently regret right now!!

“We are holding an open exhibition this year too! A Muscle Festival sponsored by the Wolfanean royal family!!”

That’s right, I was called for a muscle festival! Because I’m the Meat Saintess!? Son-of-a-gun! I did not want to show my face, so I was wearing the Valkyrie mask I bought. By the way, I canceled my illusion magic.

No, I certainly know that the ratio of muscular men in this world is high. But, the Wolfanean men look tougher = more macho than the men of Christia, so I did not notice that muscular men are actually preferred here. Looking back at things, they do sell macho drinks (containing protein-like components), baked macho (sponge cakes shaped into muscular figures)… they have many macho-inspired goods. I want to hit myself for not considering the difference in cultures!

Muscle Festival… a festival of muscles. It’s a festival to determine Wolfanea’s most beautiful muscles. The superior muscle owners are given the honor to participate in the Muscle Parade, and the winner will be given prize money and the right to work as a Knight in the castle… or so I was told.

“I want to go home…”

Dirk also became a judge as one of the heroes. It seems that I was originally called here to be a judge as well.

“Sorry…”

“To return evil for good is precisely what this is, isn’t it! Jess you idiot!”

“I didn’t know! I never knew that such a stupid idea as inviting the Meat Saintess for the Muscle Festival was passed… Lord, I am really sorry!”

He prostrated on the ground. Please stop it. I will be really troubled if the royalty kept kneeling before me!

“Don’t call me Lord! There’s nothing we can do now that I am here. To be honest, I don’t like gorimachos, but I will do my best.”

The royal garden was cleaned up and the stage was set here. The judges were the King, Judas-sama, Jess, me, and Dirk. Additionally, there were also critics consisting of a macho old man of doubtful origins and the victor of the previous year’s festival. By the way, Dirk is on my right and the macho victor on my left, but I think it’s too cramped here. The victor macho is too huge and thick. I was glad to be stuck to Dirk, though. Kuh, if only we were not in the public (self-restraint).

The Muscle Festival has begun and muscular, brawny uncles entered the stage… no, there were many younger ones too, but all I saw were uncles.

Everyone commented and gave points, but then it was my turn.

“Saintess-sama, what do you think?”

“Nope. That is unacceptable.”

“Oh my? I replace them to be wonderful muscles, though…”

“They are just for looks. There’s no suppleness. Muscles are not decorations! Muscles are designed for practical use!”

“Ehhh? Wait up, Rosarin?”

Dirk was panicking because the contestants and I entered a dangerous mood. However, he will become even more shocked.

“Dirk, take it off!”

“… Huh?”

“Dirk, take it off!!”

“Eehhhh!? No, wait!? It’s going to tear! It’s going to tear! Don’t strip me so forcibly!!”

I proceeded to tear the clothes off of Dirk forcibly, until his upper half was exposed. His abdominal muscles were beautiful as ever.

“Take a look, this is how wonderfully muscles built for practical use look! Supple muscles with no wasteful weight!! These kinds of muscles are supreme! You should all bow down before the lean beauty!”

I passionately talked about Dirk’s muscles. However, there was a mockery.

“Such a thin body is supreme? Don’t make us laugh. You might be the Meat Saintess, but you are still just a lass. There’s no way a child would know the merits of muscles.”

“I do know, okay? Your muscles are too artificial-looking to be called beautiful. Rather, they look ugly and disproportioned. Your internal organs might deteriorate and you could put too much stress on your heart with all of this excessive over-forging of your muscles. All of the previous victors were short-lived, no? Can’t you figure it out just by studying a little about the cause?”

The premises fell silent.

“… Saintess-sama, is that the truth?”

The muscles next to me… or rather, the victor of the previous festival turned pale.

“… Yes. It’s unfortunate, but I’m not telling lies. It’s the truth. Is there something wrong with your internal organs?”

“… There is. To think, to think my muscles were eating out my body…”

“No, you will be probably fine if you slowly loose on some of those muscles.”

“I’m not convinced! Muscles are strength and power! If you want to convince that the bean sprout over there has the perfect kind of muscles, fight me!”

“Fumu. You have a point. Dirk, what will you do?”

“Eh? You mean to have a spar? I’m fine with that.”

That being the case, it became a match between a muscular and brawny vs. Dirk. The hosts pulled back the chairs and tables, making the stage bigger.

Looking carefully, that man’s physique was incredible. Dirk is quite tall himself, but the muscular and brawny was a 2-meter tall giant.

However, Dirk has the ability rivaling the hero’s.

“Hah!”

“This!”

“There!”

The attacks of the muscular and brawny didn’t connect. I am also having trouble connecting my punches, so there’s no way he would. Dirk seemed to be taking it easy. The muscular and brawny then caught him… or he didn’t! He narrowly avoided him, caught his hands, and struck his the muscular and brawny’s backside of the neck with his hand, causing him to faint instantly.

“Erm… should I accompany you all?”

Everyone looked stunned. Dirk tilted his head puzzledly. It will be probably fine even if all of the festival’s participants attacked him at once. Moreover, he didn’t make use of his magical power manipulation whatsoever. Having muscles and being able to utilize them in actual fight are two different things.

“No, he was this year’s favorite for the championship. We wouldn’t be able to beat you. It’s as Meat Saintess said… we were distracted by the show-off nature of the muscles and forgot about their essence.”

“Indeed. As the Meat Saintess said, your muscles are supple, strong and beautiful.”

I don’t care, but stop saying Meat Saintess this Meat Saintess that.

“I see! In that case, everyone let me ask you! Who is this year’s victor!?”

Dirk’s name was shouted over and over again.

Hahahaha. I don’t think there’s a need to guess, but isn’t this my fault?

“Rosarin…”

“Yes.”

“I’m going to have you make amends later…”

From his experience at the Knights Order, Dirk seemed to have given up resisting. What do I say, his expression was that of hopelessness.

“… Please order me anything. I’m seriously sorry!”

I apologized from the bottom of my heart. No, yeah… what do I say, seeing all those brawny muscles, I got irritated and exploded! However, having too much muscles is not good for you health, so all is good in a healthy way!

And so, we were preparing for the Muscle Parade, but…

Babababam… a thunderous roaring noises reverberated around. Eh? What is this ruckus?

“Dirk-samaaa!!”

“Don’t let him escape, after him!”

“He’s too fast!?”

“Give up… gyaaah!”