Backup Girl No More: Adios To My V-Card and My First Love
Chapter 61

46.7 % Chapter 7 , Chapter 7 Give me back my passport .

Were already over .

Where I go next is none of your concern , Pax .

I turned off my phone , the pale glow fading into the darkness .

Silence settled around me , thick and unshakable .

Pax knew I had never left the country before .

Knew I had never even considered applying for a passport .

Yet here I was .

At the beginning of the year , he had mentioned it so casually , like it was just another passing thought .

I heard the first snowfall in Norway is breathtaking .

You should get your passport sorted .

We should go together sometime .

Back then , I had laughed , brushing him off .

We should save money first .

We had never traveled together .

Never even made real plans .

Not for him .

For myself .

For a future I never told him about .

My phone vibrated again a voice message .

His voice poured into the quiet , edged with disbelief , amusement barely veiling his irritation .

18:02 Backup Girl No More : Adios To My V Card and My First Love 46.9 % Chapter 7 Who said we broke up ? A scoff .

A short , incredulous laugh .

Did I say we were over ? His confidence was maddening .

Cecilia , I know you cant bear to leave me , but do you really have to play this game ? You were looking forward to the trip .

You even went and got your passport , didnt you ? Secretly , without telling me .

Why are you still pretending ? I let the words sit there , unread , untouched .

Even now , even after everything , he still thought I wouldnt leave .

Not him .

Not after all the years we had spent together .

Maybe he thought I would hold on , that Id forgive , that Id let this become just another rough patch wed get through .

Maybe he thought Id still be waiting .

Then another message .

His tone softened , his frustration giving way to something gentler , something almost coaxing .

Remember when I told you I wanted to be honest with you ? This was what I wanted to tell you .

The lies .

The deception .

The carefully crafted act , pretending to be struggling , pretending to be one of us when he never was .

But then Nina came back early , and everything got … messy .

10.03 Rockum Girl No More : Adios To My V Card and My First Love 47.1 % Chapter 7 .

A pause .

A sigh .

Im sorry .

Lying to you was wrong .

I let my friends get to me , let them talk shit , and I went along with it .

I said things I shouldnt have .

Moving out was just me trying to clear my head .

But I never meant for us to actually break up .

You know that .

His voice was steady .

Sure .

Like he believed , without a doubt , that no matter what , we would still be us .

And maybe , in some other time , some other life , I would have let myself believe him too .

Because I knew he loved me .

That part was real .

But so was the lie .

And I wasnt the kind of person who could forgive both .

I was selfish like that .

Hypocritical .

A liar myself , but unwilling to accept being lied to in return .

Especially when Nina was still in the picture .

If he wouldnt end this , then I would .

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