Chapter 9 Pax and I parted on bad terms .

Four days before I left the country , she was hospitalized.Just when I thought things couldnt get any more ridiculous , Nina tried to kill herself .

Shes got serious depressive tendencies .

Its just an apology .

Pax stood before me , fingers pressed to his forehead , as if the weight of this conversation had exhausted him .

The dim hospital lights cast deep shadows under his eyes evidence of a sleepless night .

I wondered if he had spent the night here , at her bedside .

He exhaled slowly , his patience fading by the second .

Wouldnt you ? I stared at him , my lips curling in amusement .

An apology ? I almost laughed .

Of course , I said , my assent easy , almost nonchalant .

Then I walked into her room .

The place smelled sterile and artificial , like disinfectant , with a hint of metal .

The monitors beeped at slow , rhythmic intervals , the only sound to break the silence .

Nina sat on the bed , her skin pale under the fluorescent light .

Her hair was combed to one side , framing her delicate features and making her look almost ethereal like a fragile thing that was almost broken .

When she saw me , her lips parted slightly .

I took a step closer and locked eyes with her .

Then , very clearly , I said , dics To My V Card and My First Love 48.4 % Chapter 9 .

Apologize , asshole .

The silence that followed was sharp , suffocating .

Nina blinked , stunned , as if she really expected me to come here , lower my head , and beg for her forgiveness .

Then , as if remembering her role , she quickly recovered her expression changed like a curtain being drawn .

Her lip trembled .

Her dark eyes shone , glassy with tears .

Her fingers clenched the hospital blanket , the knuckles white , as if my words hurt her .

I had to admire her .

She was really good at this .

As expected like a script hed rehearsed a thousand times before Parks was already in action .

His hand rested on her shoulder , and his voice softened , tender .

Nina … dont- I didnt stay to listen.Then I reached for my passport , my fingers curled around the familiar edge .

Without another word , I turned and walked away.But just as I reached the door , his voice broke the- silence .

Cecilia , if you walk out that door today , were really done .

I paused .

His words fell between us , heavy and firm , overwhelming .

I turned slightly and looked back at him .

He was watching me , waiting , expecting- Waiting for what ? Waiting for me to hesitate ? Am I going to buckle under the pressure of everything weve been through , everything weve shared ? I let out a slow breath .

48.7 % Chapter 9 .

And then , I smiled .

Deal .

Isnt that what Ive always wanted ? Not long ago , we had shared a cramped little bed in a dingy apartment , whispering about love , eternity , the life we thought we could build together .

Seven hundred days and nights .

I had dreamed of a better life .

I had dreamed of marrying him , too .

But then , one day , my old college mentor reached out to me , offering me something I had once thought impossible a research opportunity , a project position that could change everything .

The only problem ? The lab was in Germany .

I had spent too many years in the real world to believe that love could survive the ocean between us .

I didnt believe in long distance relationships .

I didnt believe in us .

So , I had planned to break up with Pax .

But for some reason , I still feel heartbroken and reluctant .

Now , he had done the work for me .

Now , the air was clear .

Now , I was free .

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