Because I simply love you -
Chapter 352: Heart vs mind
In the hospital, Nana was fidgeting with her the phone the whole time. The twins were asleep at their side in the incubator.
It was Serena's birthday today, and Nana didn't know what to do. With the way things were, she didn't need to think or worry about giving her good wishes, but…she still felt unsettled in her heart.
Nana was just staring at her number for the last thirty minutes with no idea what to do.
She sighed and leaned back on the bed.
Suddenly, she felt a warm hand on her forehead. Nana flew her eyes open in surprise, and there Jinhai was, standing in front of her, looking at her concerned.
She noticed a small bouquet in his hands.
Nana straightened up. "What are you doing here?"
"I just came to check on you and the twins." He smiled and handed her the flowers. "For you."
Nana slightly knitted her brows. The flowers were really pretty, though, with the beautiful lilies and chrysanthemums making the bouquet.
For the last two days, she found that there were beautiful flowers already set in a vase whenever she came in. She liked it, and those pretty colors always lifted her mood.
Nana thought that it was the staff who did that, but…
"The flowers are to thank and appreciate you for being a part of my life, and also…to thank you for giving me, such wonderful children. You suffered a lot. You bore so much pain. I cannot thank you enough."
Jinhai's sincerity in his voice and the gratefulness in his expression tugged Nana's heartstrings. The genuine light in his gaze made her a little breathless, so she quickly looked away. Her heart was thumping faster in her chest, and a tinge of red colored her cheeks with how intensely he looked at her without even blinking his eyes.
There was nothing but warmth and love in them.
But she accepted the bouquet nevertheless.
Jinhai scooted a little closer to her. "You seemed a little lost." He softly said, "Is anything bothering you?"
Nana pursed her lips.
Should I tell him about it?
It felt like so long since they had a proper conversation. Nana used to share every little thing with him, but after the truth came out, she kept all those little things in her heart. It hurt her so much that she didn't even want to look at him.
But Jinhai's efforts to win her back was slowly giving its fruit. Nana didn't feel so opposed to his presence anymore. She still avoided him, though.
Jinhai thought for a moment. He slowly brought his hand forward and lifted her hand in his.
Startled, Nana clutched his hand harder by mistake when she wanted to shake it off.
A silly grin bloomed on his face.
Ahhhh, what did I do? Nana berated herself.
Just look at him, smiling like an idiot.
"You…"
She refused to acknowledge that Jinhai's large and sturdy hand touching hers, gave her a tickling sensation in the stomach. Deep in her heart, she wanted to stay like that for longer but her stubborn mind opposed.
Jinhai asked again to divert the issue, "What are you thinking? I don't want to see you stressed out. If I can help anyhow, then I would be happy to."
Nana paused. She remembered the thing she was worried about.
"I was just wondering whether to wish Serena or not."
Jinhai blinked his eyes. "For what?"
In his heart, he felt giddy that Nana shared her troubles with him. That meant that their relationship was just a little bit, turning out for the better.
"It's Serena's birthday today."
Jinhai instantly understood her concern. He said, "If that is what calms your heart, then there is no problem to wish her. I know that you really miss her despite what happened. And perhaps somewhere…you understand her reasons too for all that she did."
Nana looked at him in surprise. She never expected him to say that because he despised Serena for betraying her.
"Honestly, I am not concerned about her. I am just saying what I feel by observing you. She doesn't live with Huos and perhaps Jianyu…I don't know if he would contact her today. He may not. So you don't want her to feel lonely. You feel that at least somebody should wish her on this day, am I right? And she is pregnant too. So you don't want her to see sad and depressed, especially today."
Nana slowly nodded.
Really…Jinhai always understands me so well.
Once again, she felt warm and fuzzy, realizing this.
Jinhai smiled. He wrapped his hand around hers. "I think what you feel isn't wrong. If wishing her makes you happy and settled, then go for it. Just think of it as you are doing this for your own peace and calm."
Nana understood what he meant. She knew what she had to do.
---
Cemetery.
Liang Zou regrettably said, "I…really wanted to bring you back, Xiao Fan. I wanted to apologize. And after the truth came out, I always wondered that…if I didn't hurt you that day, then you wouldn't have abruptly left like that. Maybe you would have never met Yu Tengfei and everything that spiraled out of control later on…maybe it would have never happened. All the pain and hurt...would have never brought such sadness in our lives."
Liang Zou felt guilty. Huo Xiao Fan already had to suffer from pain of her one-sided love for him. But once again, her feelings were cruelly crushed by Yu Tengfei who was already married, yet had a secret affair with her.
He understood how she must have felt because he was always scared of what he would do if Liang Xiao Dan ever rejected his feelings. The mere thought terrified him in those days.
And here Xiao Fan had to bear twice the pain.
Liang Zou couldn't help but blame himself for what happened to her in Tokyo.
Huo Xiao Fan, who was kneeling in front of her daughter's grave, suddenly laughed out loud.
But her eyes were shining with tears.
"I see, Liang Zou. Hahaha. I see now. That's what you thought about me. I was so, so stupid. I want to hit my young self for falling for you. I loved you so much, but first, you believed that I could hurt my sister, and then you could go that far to hurt me…I was so stupid!"
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