Beyond Chaos – A DiceRPG
48. No Pineapples

48. No Pineapples

Omen: 2, 18

When he awoke in the morning, he checked the recipe once again now that he had a fresh mind to work with.

Intelligence Check

D20 + 3 = 22 (19)

“Oh,” he said. He began to rewrite the tomato base, which he had accidentally used a recipe for a soup. ‘A tomato soup base would have been awful.’

With the recipe fixed, he began the day by brushing his teeth and then training with the other Iyrmen. They ran around the courtyard, which they would use to cook not long later, before they went off to the stream to wash up.

Adam had forgotten the men and women of the Iyr bathed together, so he remained off to one side, washing up quickly. He spent most of his time in thought about the pizza he was going to make.

Once they had returned, Adam in his Iyrman clothing, he tied a piece of cloth around his forehead like a bandanna. He needed it to catch his sweat and keep his hair at bay, but also because he thought it would help his cooking in spirit. 

The excitement within him rushed around like a raging river, which quickly fell away as he stepped into the courtyard to see the families waiting for him, ready to see his work.

There were the Rot, Ool, Gak, and Kan families, as he had expected, but there was also a family of orcish Iyrmen, the Jins. He hadn’t expected the Jin family, which weren’t part of the four families which lived in this block, but he should have expected them. 

He glanced around, not spotting Zijin about, though Elders did have to work to do. He didn’t see Gorot either, and this entire time he had yet to meet Mirot or Nirot. 

Adam blinked twice and inhaled deeply. “Alright!” He slapped his cheeks slightly to hype himself up. “I figured out the ingredients and the tools I need!” He explained the ingredients and utensils he’d need to his Iyrmen companions, who brought back the various items he had asked for. 

They had brought back some dough for him which had been made in the last few days, as well as some which had been made fresh in the morning, but also ingredients to make some more fresh dough there.

They had also brought along eggs, which were quickly scrambled and cooked, and they were each spiced separately. 

“What are you looking for?” Jaygak asked, watching him spice the various small portions of eggs.

“We have salt, but I don’t know if you have pepper,” he said. “They say that S and P are an investment in your future.” Adam chuckled to himself, before he saw the look of confusion on Jaygak’s face. He shook his face. “You wouldn’t understand how good, or bad, that joke is.” He sighed. “I should stop making jokes no one will understand.”

Adam ate each small portion of egg with the spices, before coming across pepper, towards the end. It was one of the exotic spices the Iyrmen possessed, meaning it would be difficult to use it often in his food. He loved pepper on his eggs, and it was such a staple spice for him. 

Cooking

D20 + 1 = 15 (14)

Adam began with the dough first, mixing together the various ingredients, kneading the dough until it was slightly sticky but mostly smooth, before allowing it to proof for the next hour.

Then he began with the base, which would be the most difficult part of the recipe. He was using a different ingredient than he was used to, as it wasn’t quite like the tomatoes he was used to.  

Cooking

D20 + 1 = 6 (5)

Omen: 2, 18 -> 2

18 + 1 = 19

He didn’t trust himself, so he weaved his Omen, which bended the strands of Fate, taking away the good fortune from a random being within the world in order to allow him to make a decent sauce. 

He diced the fruit and began to cook it down, adding in the smashed pulp of the fruit in it too. He added in a liberal amount of salt and pepper, tasting it as he went along. It was different than what he was used to, since there was no basil and the oil wasn’t what he was used to, but it was fine enough.

He cut into the fresh dough he had made, which had grown twice as large, and used a bottle the Iyrmen had brought to roll it out. He spread the sauce all along it, going towards the edge, but leaving about a thumb’s width from the edge, before he crumbled some cheese all along it. 

‘Damn, I wish I would have checked for basil now, but I don’t want to leave it for too long.’

During the time it took for him to cook the sauce and make the dough, the Iyrmen had brought over one of their ovens and had already begun burning some wood.

Cooking

D20 + 1 = 21 (20)

Adam pushed the first paddle into the oven, which was battering heat into the pizza from all sides. He stared at the pizza for a long while, watching the way the dough expanded along the edge, puffing up. Some of it became darkened by crispiness, and the cheese had melted, slightly browning as well. Adam quickly brought the paddle under the pizza pie and pulled it out.

The smell of the pizza had long filled the air, and the Iyrmen waited with bated breath. Adam could smell it clearest of all, the beautiful smell of pizza. It was similar to what he remembered, though not quite exactly the same. 

Jaygak held out the puthral knife to him, her eyes eagerly awaiting.

Adam took it by it’s wooden handle, which Jurot had once admired, but he was focused on the pizza as well, before the half elf brought it to the pizza pie. He didn’t cut it yet, instead, he brought the knife to the base of the pizza and lifted it up to see the dark spots. 

“Nice,” Adam whispered, nodding his head.

He placed the pizza on a griddle made of a dark gem, which Jaygak had brought, and he used the knife to cut into it. He could see the way the cheese and sauce clung to the blade as he cut the pizza pie into eight large pieces. 

Adam picked up a slice, feeling the hardness of the dough from the bottom, the tip of the pizza slightly droopy. He blew onto the front and bit into it. 

Health: 26 -> 25

“Ha!” Adam gasped as he bit into the piping hot pizza pie, which burnt his mouth slightly. He hadn’t blown it enough, but even so, he chewed the slice. The fattiness of the cheese, the slight sweetness of the sauce, the softness of the dough. 

He chewed it slowly, each bite deliberate.

He swallowed the pizza.

Adam licked his lips and nodded his head. “Man,” he began, feeling his eyes well up, “this is some good shit.”

The Iyrmen stared at Adam, unsure of what he meant by that. 

“Shit?” Jaygak asked, disappointed, seeing the tears forming in Adam’s eyes.

“No,” Adam said, blinking away his tears. “It’s slightly different than what I’m used to, no doubt because the oil used was different, and there was no basil, but it’s good. No, not good. It’s great. Amazing.” 

Adam went back for another bite, a comically large bite. He couldn’t help but nod as he ate it.

The others glanced between one another, waiting to see who would be able to eat it.

Adam broke from his trance, noticing all the expectant gazes, each waiting for permission. ‘Oh no,’ he thought, wondering how he would politic himself out of this. His eyes fell on a certain eager boy. 

“Come, Turot,” Adam said, motioning to the pizza. He had promised the boy a slice, and he wasn’t sure if it was a good choice, but Turot had been waiting patiently.

Turot stepped forward excitedly, reaching for a slice. He picked up the slice and was about to bite it. Adam grabbed the boy’s arm. “Blow on it first, otherwise you’ll burn your mouth.”

Turot blew on it several times before biting into it and chewing it. “Mm! Mhmm!” He nodded his head before swallowing. “It’s good.”

Adam smiled, before noting the other Iyrmen. “Uh…” He saw Sonarot smiling at him. “Can you eat pizza?” Adam asked. “I mean, cheese isn’t that good for you at this moment, so I’m not sure.”

“Mother loves cheese,” Jurot said, only to recall she hadn’t eaten any in some time.

“It should be fine,” she said, taking it as permission to eat. She reached for a slice before blowing on it gently and eating it. 

Elder Zijin inhaled deeply before stepping forward, grabbing his promised slice. He had arrived when Adam was checking the oven, and had been waiting patiently. 

The pair ate the pizza, and then Adam motioned a hand to the other Iyrmen. His companions stepped up first, since they had spearheaded the mission. Amokan cut his in half, allowing Timojin to eat the first pizza made within the Iyr. 

“It’s good,” Timojin said. “It’s missing meat.”

“The next pizza can have meat on it,” Adam offered.

“You can put meat on pizza?” Timojin asked. He had no idea how sacred pizza was to Adam, whether it needed to be made one way, or if there could be other ingredients used.

“You can put most things on pizza,” Adam replied. “Well, that depends on who you ask.”

Timojin stared at Adam for a moment before he returned to his family, asking them for permission to bring some of their meat. With permission granted, he rushed off.

Adam glanced around, noting all the people who were waiting. He smiled and then went about cooking the rest of the pizzas he had prepared. Timojin had arrived just in time for Adam to add some of the meat over the last pizza he had prepared. 

“Will you allow us to make the pizza for ourselves?” Elder Zijin asked, licking his lips. “This pizza was more than worth offering all of our fruits and vegetables.”

“Sure,” Adam said, smiling. “All should experience the love known as pizza.”

Zijin nodded and quickly left. 

“No wonder this sounded so familiar,” Jaygak said, smiling wide. She was delighted, and had melted against the floor, like a piece of cheese on the pizza. “It’s similar to tabba.”

“What’s tabba?” Adam asked.

Jaygak giggled slightly, opening her mouth for q uip, but seeing the look from Jurot, kept her lips shut for a moment. “Tabba is similar to this, but we don’t use sauce. It’s flatbread with cheese and certain fruit, though some people put vegetables on it.”

“That does sound a lot like pizza. I know some pizza is made without sauce, but I like the sauce too much.” Adam kept his eyes on the pizzas in the oven, making sure they didn’t get burnt. 

“The devilkin soldiers of old used to bake it on their shields when they were out campaigning.”

Adam squinted his eyes, recalling history from his first life. “Oh, tabba. I think I know of tabba.”

“You know tabba?”

“It might be a different type of tabba, but I’ve heard of soldiers doing that thousands of years ago.”

Jaygak nodded, smiling, though her eyes were sad. “It was a very long time ago.”

“Who would have though that this world…” Adam realised what he was saying, and then saw Jaygak and Kitool stare at him curiously. He bit into the rest of his pizza, keeping his mouth shut as he chewed.

Eventually, a few more ovens were brought and Iyrmen were bringing dough from earlier in the day, and began to make another pot of the sauce using the large red fruit. Some other families had brought some of the red pumpkin they had in stock, all to have a taste of this pizza they had heard about.

As Timojin bit into the meaty pizza, he nodded his head. “This,” he began, swallowing the rest of the pizza down in a single bite, “is good.”

“What can’t you add on to pizza?” Kitool asked, finishing her slice.

“Whatever doesn’t taste good,” Adam replied, simply. “Well, depending on who you ask, you can’t use pineapple either.”

“Pineapple?” Kitool asked, having never heard of the fruit before. “An apple on a pine?”

“I don’t know how it got its name, but its a delicious fruit which can be quite harsh on the tongue. I’m not pizza racist, so I quite like it on my pizza.”

Adam wondered if he could go around the world and bring back all manner of fruits and vegetables. Oh how he missed the globalisation of his previous world. ‘It would be a good way of making money. Bring back exotic fruits, grow them, and sell them to the nobility? I could even bring pizza to them…’

The pizza party was in full swing as there were five ovens cooking close to ten to fifteen pizzas at any time. Adam was offered a slice from each pizza, but he waited until everyone else had managed to eat a slice before accepting some of the pizzas the Iyrmen made. 

It was growing late in the evening, and about two dozen families had rotated through the courtyard, introducing themselves to Adam and joining the party, eating their pizzas, before leaving to allow another family in.

“Aren’t you glad you allowed us all those fruits and vegetables now?” Jaygak asked Zijin, rubbing her full stomach. As one of the driving forces of bringing pizza to the Iyr, she had managed to steal more portions of pizza.

He grabbed onto her skull and swayed it, half bullying the young Iyrman. He chuckled lightly. She just smiled up at Zijin, who could already sense that she was plotting some kind of nonsense, which he would have to turn away from, as long as it wasn’t too bad. 

“Ah!” Sonarot gasped. She looked down to see a wetness down her thighs and all over the chair she sat on. “Elder Zijin!”

Zijin inhaled deeply before roaring something in their tongue, and quickly the party fell silent, before the Iyrmen began to move.

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Adam's Omen is killing people and he's out here using it to make decent pizza.