Falling For My Cruel Mate
Chapter 56

She was dressed in a sports bra with high waisted pants and a light sweatshirt tied around her waist. Even in simple workout clothing she looked stunning.

"Of course we can."

I close my bedroom door behind me and we walk side by side down the hall, towards the stairs. An awkward silence ensued, but I'm not really sure what to say to her. The mate bond is at its strongest point and it could only get stronger with the mating ritual but we don't even know each other well enough.

guess that's my fault though. I wasn't ready and still aren't ready for her to hear of my past. Not in its entirety at least. The things that I've done. I have the strong urge to please her and it makes me sad, also a bit angry. I don't know what to do...

"Ajax," Her light voice pulls me from my thoughts as I close the house door and lock it. "I know things are weird because of the bond and I know that you don't like me very much and that we don't know each other but this isn't how I want my life to be. This is how I want us to be, you know? And I know I'm rambling and I'm sorry for that I just- This is awkward! I'm willing to make this work if you are."

I press my lips together to suppress the chuckle that threatened to climb out. Her green eyes widen at the realization of what she just said and her cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

"I'm so-I'm so sorry and I'm-wow. Talk about word vomit. I didn't even mean to say all of that out loud and definitely not now and in this moment. I'm so-"

"It's okay," I smirk. "You don't have to apologize."

I allow my hands to cup her face, making sure that her eyes were aligned with mine. "I want to get to know you and I want you to get to know me, within time of course."

"Of course." She nods with a sigh of relief.

Octavia:

November twelfth.

We walked together in silence, his arm occasionally brushing up against mine causing a soft electric current to flow up and down my arm.

I felt like a total moron. I mean my mate kisses me and I run and hide. Who even does that? Me apparently. Also, to make it worse, I'm a stuttering, stumbling mess around him. It's like any little ounce of hate I had for him went flying out of the window the moment he kissed me.

Every time I think of him kidnapping me and keeping me hostage... I don't feel this white hot anger anymore. Not the way I used too. I just feel sad and confused. Confused as to why he would treat me so awfully.

I miss my family.

"What are you thinking of?" He nudges me lightly with his elbow. I look up at him to replace his ocean like eyes already focused on my face.

"Honestly?" I ask, not sure whether I should bring up the topic of my family. I didn't want to ruin the mood or moment, but I couldn't help but think of them. All the time.

"Of course." He nods and shoves his hands into the pockets of his jogging pants.

"I miss my family." I shrug as if it's no big deal. I tried to make it seem like no big deal anyway, I've been spending a lot of time with the children these last two days. Reading to them and watching them interact with other children and their families. I miss mine. I miss my siblings. It hurts knowing that I haven't seen them in months and that I may never see them again.

"I'm sorry. I wish I could relate to that." He adds the last part jokingly.

"What do you mean? Your family is here. Cipher, Alexander and Christina." I was slightly confused. He didn't have to miss them because they're always around.

"Alexander is my uncle and Christina is his mate. My parents are dead." He says softly, but no hint of sadness nor regret in his tone. It's like he didn't care that he didn't miss them.

"How did they die?" I ask. He didn't seem disturbed or upset about their death so I figured he wouldn't mind me asking such a question.

He clears his throat before answering, "My mother killed herself and my father was murdered."

I press my lips together, trying my hardest not to let my shock seep through. I don't know what to say. Should I apologize for his loss? He doesn't seem shaken up at all.

"That's awful." I breathe out. We were just a few feet away from the gym and training field when he stopped in his tracks, causing me to stop too.

I turn to face him. He's looking down at his shoes, thinking. I don't say anything. We stand there for a few minutes, in silence before he looks up at me. His blue eyes were hurt and almost angry. Part of me was scared. Is he upset with me? Did I say or do something wrong?

"Octavia..." He trails off and looks away for a moment. His eyes scan the tree line before they meet mine again. "My parents were terrible people. They weren't fit to be leaders, friends or family to anyone. I don't want you to ever feel sorry about their death, because it was the best thing that happened to this pack, to Cipher, and to me."

I nod my head slowly. My heart hurt and contracted in my chest. It was unfair to anyone who grew up without a loving mother or father. "Okay, I understand." "Thank you." He says taking a few steps towards me. I give him a sad smile and he surprisingly wraps his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I didn't know how to react at first, but after a few moments I relaxed into his arms. I allowed myself to breathe in his scent and to bury my face into his chest. This is a little weird considering our history... but I feel good. I feel safe.

"Speaking of family, I'm surprised that your friend hasn't asked to go home yet." He pulls away and we begin walking to the gym again. As if it was natural for us to hug things out like that.