Falling For My Stepbrother
Chapter 61-Shawn's Date II-3

My ears perked up when I heard a song playing. Secrets by One Republic.

I couldn't help it, I started singing and Em laughed. After a minute I grabbed her hand and brought her in my arms. We danced, moving our feet in small steps. I looked up at the ceiling singing along, "I'm gonna give all my secrets away."

Em rested her head on my shoulder and moved along with me. When the song ended I just held her close. I didn't want to let go. I wished I could just stop time and stay here forever. Emily in my arms. That's how it should have been. Just me and her all the time.

I just didn't understand how I ever lived without her. Now when I think back, all I can think of is the regret I have for doing everything. For being with so many girls so many nights. I should have never dated them. I should have waited. Waited for the right girl and I finally replace her but if I ever tell her about my stupidity she'd turn me down.

Right now was what I wanted. Her in my arms as we gently rocked back and forth to a song. But like always, good times must come to an end.

Rocket started clawing at the door and Em looked over. She looked a bit sad to, almost as if she was also enjoying the moment and didn't want to leave either. But she slipped out of my arms and walked towards the puppy that was now whining and clawing at the garage door. "Come on," she said grabbing her coat and slipping it on. She clicked the end of the leash onto Rocket and headed towards the door. I followed after her making sure to zip my jacket up. When she opened the garage door a gust of cold fall air hit us. I cringed for a second feeling the chilly air dance on the hairs on the back of my neck.

Em moved closer to me and Rocket trotted towards the opening.

"It's cold..." Em stated her teeth chattering slightly.

"Come on just let Rocket to his puppy needs and we'll be back in a jiff." I put my arm around her shoulders trying to add some of my body warmth to her. Rocket whinned when his leash tugged at his collar. When we started walking he moved ahead, his collar straning at his neck. Em's town was peaceful. It was nice at night too. The lamp posts and the sidewalk. Most neighborhoods here don't have sidewalks but this one did. Most houses were dark, except for the Halloween decorations that lit up in the front yard.

It was quiet outside, and I liked that. It wasn't a scary quiet where we'd feel like some so Grimm Reaper was chasing us. No it was a peaceful quiet.

We passed by a house in silence. Em looked to cold to say anything. And I was very intrigued by the house with the laughing skeleton.

"So Em..." I said breathing out. My breath was visible in the cold air. And the street light illuminated the way for us.

"Yeah?" Em asked when she realized I had stopped talking.

"Why don't you tell me about your parents?" I didn't want to ask bluntly but it sure sounded that way...I was hoping to ease into it but that hadn't worked.

Em's grip on Rocket's leash tightened as if she were afraid he'd run away, "What about them?"

"I'm just...confused. You said your parents divorced and that you lived with your mom. But you live with your aunt."

"It's not necessarily a lie...my parents are sort of divorced and I did live with my mom."

"Why are you using past tense?" Now don't get me wrong I like Em. More than any other girl I've known. I might even be past like. But she was being cryptic with me...

Em inhaled deeply. It was a shaky breath like she was about to poor her heart out and that frighten me. "I was a mistake Shawn. I was never expected. Hell my parents weren't even married."

At this point I felt my heart sink. I didn't mean to make her feel like this. Or the way she looked said it all. "Em it's ok you don't have to-"

"No its fine..." She layed her head on my shoulder, "My mom never had a straight job. She jumped from place to place. Actually she just moved around the world. She met dad in Paris." Em chuckled, "Paris. They thought they were in love. With the big lights and romantic setting. They thought they finally met their perfect match. It was a one night stand. It was at a lousy cheap hotel. Then mom got pregnant. She wasn't ready to support a child. Dad... he came to the U.S. He stayed until I was three."

We reached the small park the neighborhood had. I took a seat on the bench and Em let go of Rocket and he played around in the grass. I wasn't worried right now if he got lost. He had this blinking collar that showed us where he was at. And he never seemed to wander far.

All my attention was directed to Em. She took a seat beside me and I tried my best to comfort her. I had an arm around her shoulders and another went around the front of her waist. "It's ok Em you don't have to keep going." I whispered it softly. Loud enough for her to hear the seriousness of my tone.

"My dad...he said he was going on a trip. He'd be back in a week. We dropped him off at the airport. A week later we went back. He never came back. We went the next day and he wasn't there. His line was disconnected. That's when I realized, me being a three year old girl, that my dad wasn't coming back." Emily looked down at her hands. I just didn't know how to react to this. I understood the feeling. I knew what it was like to loose a father. To understand the feeling of him never coming back. But Em's situation was different. Her father chose to leave, mine didn't have a choice.

"Em please baby it ok. You can stop." I didn't want her to suffer. This was hurting me too now. The way she looked. Even in the dark I could see her sadness. It was like a shadow over casting her beautiful face. It morphed the beauty to sorrow. All was sadness.

"It's fine Shawn. You'd do the same for me..." Em looked up staring straight ahead. She pulled in a shaky breath and I just watched her. I watched her reactions and I listened. "After dad left mom was a mess. Every night there was a different man in my house. Every night. Some were nice, but some were...abusive. Or drunk and they didn't know what they were doing. I'd lock myself in my room every night Shawn. Even Christmas."

The thought of my girlfriend terrified every night wasn't something I'd want her to go through. It was killing me seeing her this way, it was eating at me. My insides felt sick and my heart felt like it was being squeezed like a rag.

"One day mom said we were going for a trip. She was going to have to leave me with my aunt. I was six. Part of me was happy. No men, no drinks, no fear. My aunt lived outside a small town. It was a nice and quiet town and peaceful too. I remember," Em smiled. A real smile that I was at least satisfied with. But her eyes still read the unforgivable sadness, "I remember going to her house and feeding the ducks she had in a pond. And we'd eat fresh apple pie." "Melissa right?" I asked softly not wanting to interrupt.

"Yeah. I just call her Auntie." I followed Em's gaze and they stared at the little puppy that was sniffling the ground and walking through the grass and dew. "Auntie..." Em continued, "Loved me. She smiled and hugged me and gave me presents when I arrived. My mom pulled out suitcases from the back trunk and we settled. We were staying for a month. Mom seemed distant at the time. Auntie and I would do things together. We'd shop and we'd play with her old doll house. On week three mom said she had to go to work. That she was going out of state to deal with some new job opening. The night she was leaving she gave me a giant suitcase. It had books and recipes. She told me that all the books in the suitcase had gotten her out of situations. That night, was the first night in years she told me she loved me."

In the moonlight I saw the small shine of a tear as it rolled down Em's cheek. I pulled my sleeve into the palm of my hand and gently wiped the tear away.

Em forced a smile but when she breathed in her breath was so shaky she stifled a sob. "The next day we took my mom to the airport. My first week with Auntie was happy. I was really happy and I got into some of the books mom wanted me to read. When we went to the airport...mom wasn't there. We looked everywhere Shawn. Even Auntie was scared. That was the second time my parent abandoned me...three years after my dad left my mom got fed up with me and left too." Em looked up at me her eyes filled with unshed tears. "I was a mistake. A burden placed on people. I'm a nobody I wasn't even suppose to be born."