How to Cure a Vampire Bite without Losing Your Mind
Chapter 2

Iam absolutely certain that some reader of this memoir is asking herself whythis crazy old lady saw it as being suddenly necessary to make a fuss about hervery privileged and bizarre teenage years. I would like to inform the littlehussy that these memoirs don’t follow my teenage years, they follow a specificyear and a specific adventure that no other group of people on this planet has probablyever had. I would also like to inform that little hussy (who happens to be agranddaughter I do actually adore) that this has been a long time coming, and Iwaited until I was very old to do it so there would be nothing to lose. As soonas my memoirs are completed and published, I will probably be found to have “suddenlydied.” This is not true one little bit. It won’t have been sudden; I’mninety-goddamn-five, and I know lots of government secrets; it’s about time I bit it.

Anyway,Orcus Locke was a Class A Dickhead, so I didn’t meet him down by the river,which must have angered him to no end, because he came throwing stones outsidemy room at half-eleven that night. At first I’d thought they were the newsixth-graders, out of dorms on a dare. Orcus didn’t typically throw stones, ormuch of anything for that matter. He preferred projectile launching incendiaryrou – guns. He preferred guns, is what I’m trying to say.

I threw open a window and glared down at him.

“What in St. Mary’s name do you want?” I hissed.

“I need to speak with you,” he called up in astage-whisper.

“I – what?!” Ispluttered.

He must have rolled his eyes. “I. Need. To. Speak. With –”

“I understood the words perfectly!” I snapped. “What Idid not understand was the context of the request, and frankly, I could givetwo shits about that, as I am notcoming down there. You need to go tobed. Better yet, go drown yourself somewhere not in my presence.” I slammed the window shut and turned backround to the very sleepy faces of my roommates. A stone hit the window again,and I ripped it open and poked my head out again. “WHAT?!”

“Get down here!” he hissed.

“Orcus Locke, I am not some pet to come at your beck andcall! Go to bed! It’s eleven-thirty!”

He took up a childish stance then, standing with hishands on his hips. “Please come downto the courtyard.”

“NO!” I snapped.

“By the gods of Egypt, woman, if you don’t get downhere—”

“You’ll do what?” I taunted. “Spank me? I’m terrified.”

“I’ll tell the whole school we started sleeping togetherover the summer.”

My mouth dropped open about a mile. “You wouldn’t!” Hewould, I don’t know why I was being so dramatic.

“I would, and we both know I won’t be the one suffering for it,” he sneered. “Now come downhere.”

I looked back at my roommates, one of whom had gone backto sleep; the other, Raechel, who also happened to be my best friend, wassitting on her bed, staring at me tiredly, her wiry black curls all askew, asthough she could give a hoot about what was happening.

“You know that if you don’t go, and he does telleveryone, he’s going to give you a certain type of power over him?” she asked.

“Yes, I know.”

“And you also know that if he doesn’t tell, he will stillhave played into your hands?”

“Yes,” I answered sullenly. “But is it worth it?”

Raechel shrugged. “Who cares? Are you going?”

I looked around nervously. “I don’t know. You heard him.What should I do?”

Rachel gave me her “don’t-be-ridiculous” look. “Whatshould you do?” she said in a whispered shriek. “What should you – I’ll tellyou what you should do: go down there, snog the boy senseless, and then split.”

I gave her my own tired look. “I am not kissing OrcusLocke. Have you lost your mind?”

“Darling,” she said matter-of-factly, “he’s begging for your company. The least you coulddo is humor the poor fool, whatever it is. And if it happens to be sloppy andsexy, that’s just a perk.”

“I am not kissing Orcus Locke!” I repeated angrily.

“Pity,” said his voice from below us. “It would make thisrelationship far more interesting.”

I felt myself turn bright red, and I whirled to face himthrough the window again. “You shutyour little slut mouth,” I snapped.

“Are you coming down any time soon?” he said impatiently,and gleam showed in his eye; it must have been prominent if I could see it thisfar away. “There’s something I want to show you.” Damn. He knew me well.Curiosity is my greatest weakness, and Orcus Locke knew exactly how to exploitit. I’d been given three weeks of detention once because of it.

I turned to Raechel. “I’m going. Cover for me.”

She’d already laid down again, and was dropping back tosleep. “Oh, yes, I’ll do that. Because that’s what I live for. Covering yoursorry stupid ass.”

“I appreciate you, Rae.”

“You’d better have naked pictures of him when you getback,” she said sleepily.

“I definitely will not,” I informed her.

“I don’t mean to interrupt what I am sure is an extremelyimportant conversation,” came Orcus’ impatient voice up through the window,“but do you mind hurrying your shit up?”

“This had better be worth suspension on the first day ofschool,” I hissed.

“It will be if you hurryup,” he growled. “Get down here.We don’t have much time.”

I turned back round, looking to Rachel for support; Ididn’t get anything. She was simply looking at me, holding out a camera. “Youmay as well take pictures, whatever you’re doing.”

I huffed, but took it from her. “I hate you,” I sniped asI walked out the door.

“You’ll thank me for it someday, I’m sure,” she said.“Just be sure to use protection, and make sure the condoms aren’t expired.”

“Raechel!” I’m still not really sure why I was surprised.

Orcus was pacing the courtyard by the time I got down towhere he was waiting.

“Took you long enough,” he griped.

“Shut up,” I retorted. “What are you going to show me,and why is it worth my so very precious time?”

He snorted. “Yourprecious time?”

“Yes,”I said indignantly. “My precioustime. I could be sleeping right now.”

He held my gaze for a long minute, and then abruptlyturned on his heel and stalked in the opposite direction, across the courtyard.When he reached the columns on the other side, he stopped to look back at me.He must have thought I was following him, because his eyebrows shot up when hesaw me rooted to the same spot, unmoving.

“Are you coming?” he asked.

“Fine,” I replied, suddenly pushing myself forward in hisdirection.

When I caught up to him, he was shaking his head.“Honestly,” his tone was exasperated, “for the brightest girl in school you canbe surprisingly dense at times. How doyou do it?”

I shoved him. He shoved me.

“Watch it, Mallory,” he said with a grin. “You could gethurt if you’re not careful.”

“Did you bring me down here for a reason, because ifnot—”

Orcus cut me off with a huff. “Stop talking. Come withme.”

And I did. I don’t know why, but I did. If I hadn’t,things would have been a lot different; life would have continued the way itdid normally, and I would have been safe and sound and all that happy stuff. Orjust ignorant and endangered. One of the two; probably the second one. FollowingOrcus Locke, though, released a chain of events like nothing I could have everimagined (I probably could have, but I would be older than I am now, andprobably surrounded by iguanas. I’d be that crazy cat-lady, except they’d beiguanas. So the crazy iguana-lady. I’m just trying to say it’s better for methat I did follow Orcus Locke).

Behind our school there is an old mine-shaft, abandonedback when the world was just discovering the fact that it curved ever soslightly. The shaft had been walled off when the school was built in the ‘60s,and the students had been forbidden, on pain of expulsion, to enter it. Whyexactly they didn’t build the school somewhere else (or maybe, I don’t know, properly seal the fucking thing) was amystery to me, but I had never really questioned it, mostly because I didn’tcare, and also because I’d broken the rules and had a few naughty nights justabove the shafts (pun very much intended). In any case that was where we weregoing; I froze as soon as I saw it.

“Orcus, we can’t go in there,” I said. “We’ll be expelledif they replace out where—”

“Yes, Mallory; ifthey replace out. But ‘they’ won’t replace out,” he snarled, “because things willbegin to go very badly for the one who lets it slip. . . .if you catch mydrift.”

I did get his drift; I got it rather well, actually.

He pointed to the wall. “See how it’s broken down, andfallen apart?” I did, but didn’t dignify his observation with a response. Hedidn’t seem to want such a thing, anyway. “It wasn’t an earthquake, like theytold us, put a hole in that,” he said. “Somebody’s got into it.”

“Could it possibly have been you?” I snapped.

Orcus looked offended. “I do value my education, contraryto popular belief,” he answered. “And anyway, it was broken from the inside,you can tell by the way it scattered. I didn’t break the shaft open; they did.”

Do you ever have those days when you’re really sure you’vegone bat-shit cuckoo, but the only evidence of this insanity is the reallyinsane thing in front of you, and nothing else? It felt like that, being downthere that night. Like I’d lost my fucking mind, and I was stuck watching itride off to some castle in the clouds which was shaped suspiciously like anImperial Warship. I looked at the forbidden entry once again, and, sure enough,people were climbing out of it. Orcus jerked my arm and I went down on mystomach next to him. “They come out every night about this time,” he said.

“Howdo you know?” I said with a frown. I’d quite forgotten the camera Raechelinsisted I take with me. (This is because I am not actually as clever as I liketo make people think I am.)

“I’vebeen up here watching them for the past two weeks,” Orcus replied.

“Whyhave you been here every single night for two weeks? School started, literallytoday.” I made a mental note to discreetly check for surreptitious bombs thatmight be planted around the school.

“Nevermind,” he said impatiently. “Every single night, without fail, they come upfrom the mine and wander about.”

“No,really, why have you been here for the past two weeks?”

“Icame back early with my aunt; that’s not important. They’re what’s important.”

Thiswasn’t making any sense. “Why?”

“I'm sorry, is it strange that I want to know whythere are other human beings crawling out of a closed mine? Because I thoughtthat was a perfectly normal concern to have.”

“No,I mean, why did you come back early with your aunt? Why did you come back earlyat all?”

“Itold you,” he said through gritted teeth, “itdoesn’t matter.”

“Areyou sure?”

He reverted to the original topic of discussion. “D’youknow why Stoltzfus didn’t come back this year?” he whispered.

I shrugged. “His parents grew balls and sent himsomewhere else?”

Orcus rolled his eyes again. “Those people got hold of him.”

I sent him a dubious look.

“I was there, Tourney,” he said. “I was hiding right herein the hope of catching him doing something against the rules, maybe evensomething embarrassing if I was lucky. He was walking around the shaft wall,when it just came apart. The lady,” he pointed again, “grabbed him by the shirtand dragged him inside; he was putting up a mad fight, let me tell you. Notsure what happened. I do know he was puttingup a ruckus for a good five minutes.”

“A mad fight?”

“Will you not?”

“That just seems a like a strange turn of phrase!”

“And you’re being petty,” Orcus snapped. “Look at this,and tell me convincingly it’s not a little bit worrying to you.”

The shivers crept down my spine. It had been a long timesince I’d even considered such things as ghost stories to be true; this didn’tlook like a ghost story, per se, but it had all the markers of impending doom.I thought about it a moment, and then shook my head. This was Orcus Locke; Godonly knew what he was up to, but I didn’t believe him. Stoltzfus hadn’t beenthe type to break rules for the sake of breaking them.

“You’re lying,” I said, my voice flat.

He rolled his eyes and began muttering under his breath.He looked at me out of the corner of his eye and then shook his head.“Naturally,” he continued. “You wouldn’t believe me. But Stoltzfus is gone, so you had better be careful aroundhere.”

I huffed my annoyance. “Okay, I don’t come down here, anyway,” not strictly alie, but it was in the sense I was presenting it, “and why would they take Stoltzfus? I mean, Stoltzfus? Not exactly highly desirable; he was anemic,under-sized, and his mouth ran like a busted water main.”

Orcusgave me an exasperated glare. “Does it looklike I would know?!” he hissed. “Howam I supposed to have—what could possiblymake you—MUST YOU BE SO INFURIATING!!!”The last bit was hissed even more ferociously than anything he’d said, and thelong fingers of his left hand had curled around my upper arm in a vice-likegrip. “Just stay careful!”

“I won’t be coming down here, Orcus.”

“Doesn’t mean you’re safe,” he retorted, pointing back tothe mine. The people were crawling over the rocks a bit too rigidly, as thoughthey were nothing more than the giant steps of some palatial home; they lookedstarved, even from this distance. I attributed it to the overly-bright moonhanging overhead.

“Why do you care?” I snapped.

He hesitated, and then smirked. “You’re going to help me,Mallory. You’re going to help me figure it out. Then we’ll clear them out ofour school.”

I grinned. “No.” His smirk disappeared. “I’m not going tobe helping you with anything. I’m going to ignore your ghost stories, and I’mgoing to bury myself back into my work. Get it? I have things to do, Orcus, things that actually requiremy attention, and this – whatever this is– is not one of those things.”

Orcus was growling. “You’ve got to help me, Mallory.”

“Why have I gotto help you?”

“No one else in this school is bright enough to keep upwith the research,” he hissed. “No one else knows the books and records half as well as you, and nobody else canpiece together puzzles as quickly as you – well, nobody but me; but one mind onthis project is hardly adequate,wouldn’t you agree?”

Yes, I would, but I didn’t want to at all.

“I have more important things to do, Orcus, than to helpyou chase monsters. If you would like to speak to me without wasting my time,you may do so in the future, provided it’s not in the middle of the night. Seeyou in the morning.”

And with that I stood and stalked away, anxious to returnto my bed. Odds were stacked against me as to how warm it would be still, but Iwas beyond caring.

I wasn’t beyond lying, though.

I had as good as told Orcus I didn’t care. If he boughtit, he was a fool; Orcus Locke, unfortunately enough, was not a fool. The world revolved around him, so if he thoughtsomething was amiss, something was definitely amiss. He had had a valid concernwith the breaking apart of the wall, Stoltzfus disappearing, and the strangerscoming in and out regularly, if that was all actually happening. The sleuth inme was naturally roused by the mystery, and I was, I’ll admit, fast becoming keento solve it. I determined to do so, as long as I didn’t have to join forceswith Mr. Locke.

The thing, however, about scary stories in the middle ofthe night, is that they stick with you. All the way back to my dormitory, Ikept looking back over my shoulder, convinced I was hearing things. I hadn’t seenOrcus leave our hiding spot down by the mine, but that didn’t mean anything. Hehad top marks in stealth, and would probably have followed me back just to bean irritating sack of wet pancakes. My gut was telling me it was something elseentirely, but I never trust my gut, because most of the time it just wants food.

As soon as I got back to the hall, I headed straight forbed. My head hit the pillow, I closed my eyes, and a few minutes later, I wasdreaming that I was back at the mine, for some reason freezing beyond all senseor reason. I saw Stoltzfus being dragged backward into the mine shaft, hishands scraping against the rocks and pebbles and shards of concrete. His mouthwas open, releasing a terrified, yet muted scream. The scene shifted and all Isaw was his mutilated body, eyes open and staring into emptiness, limbs splayedin odd directions. A sudden geyser ofblood shot out of Stoltzfus’ mouth. His face began to rot before my eyes, and Ijerked myself suddenly awake, not keen on seeing anymore. I have never verygood with nightmares, and I happen to have them regularly. Scientists say thisis because I am predisposed to mental degeneration in my old age. I think itmay have something to do with being a child soldier undertaking my education atBlackthorn.

The sight I beheld nearly stopped my heart mid-beat: aboy, maybe about my age, had leaped away from me when I had been roused from mynightmare. To my complete and utter horror, he was starkly nude, and apparentlyvery unashamed of the fact. My parents being art-collectors, and basicallyself-aggrandizing experts, I was used to seeing nude portraits. And whilenudity itself doesn’t bother me, there is a very big difference between seeinga nude portrait and seeing the subject of the portrait nude. Could you say,“Slightly awkward,”? You could, but, “Intensely horrifying,” would be rathercloser to accuracy, considering he was ina dorm room full of sleeping girls.

Ignoring whatever was below his waist that I certainlydid not want to see, and blocking it from my sight with a pillow, I focused myeyes on his torso, specifically his face. I couldn’t know him, could I? He hada long nose, sharp cheekbones, and a high forehead. His hair was clipped short,and hung about his head in a giant goddamn mess; bits of it stood at spikyattention. In the dark he had black, glittering eyes, which looked entirely toofierce for his face to be kind. His chin was pointed, and his cheeks sunken.His mouth wasn’t small, nor was it large, but it was characterized by fiercelips; I guessed they would be extremely pale in better lighting.

His torso, however, was another matter altogether. He wasblatantly malnourished, his frankly-sickeningly-pale skin stretching tight overhis protruding ribs; his stomach was virtually non-existent.

I looked back up to his face. He jaw was strong, despitehis plainly weakened state, and his ears were proportional to his head,probably because they were shriveled from lack of nourishment. His eyebrowswere two black, thin lines, and they seemed to be trying to knit themselvestogether in scrutiny of my figure.

All of this, of course, takes time to say, but the lookbetween us lasted for only a second. A question popped out my mouth before Icould stop it:

“Who are you?”