I Want to Slack Off at the Demon Bureau
Chapter 12: 012

Chapter 12

Xin Yunmao had never been so furious since becoming a deity. Even during the great battles that turned heaven and earth upside down, his emotions had never been this volatile. While Chu Zhishui never used vulgar language, her unintentionally insulting remarks were first-rate, far surpassing any crude words.

"Can't you see the difference between us?" For the first time, Xin Yunmao imitated Chu Zhishui's manner. He massaged his temples trying to calm down and said sternly, "Since my deification, even if there were private discussions, no spirit has dared to disrespect me openly. Yet you now dare to say I'm inferior to a fish!"

"A good spirit doesn't dwell on past glory. Everyone has had their moment of brilliance, so why bother?" Chu Zhishui advised. "Spirits can't live in the past forever; they need to move forward pragmatically. I truly can't see any difference in your spiritual powers, but I am capable of judging your work performance. You can't keep relying on your past achievements forever."

"It's the same for us humans. Getting into a good high school isn't the end; you still need to get into a better university, then replace a well-paying job after graduation. Things keep coming endlessly. Success at one stage doesn't represent everything. Can't we all be more mature about this?"

The twenty-something-year-old human Chu Zhishui was earnestly trying to counsel the thousand-year-old deified spirit Xin Yunmao, hoping he would face reality and stay grounded.

Xin Yunmao sneered: "What qualifications do you have to judge anyone's abilities?"

Chu Zhishui spoke confidently: "Although Jin Yu might be lower-ranked as a spirit, it's like human academic credentials - being in the same position now means a new starting point, and we need to consider more factors. She shows enthusiasm for work, completes tasks responsibly and on time, maintains a learning attitude, and though she struggles with electronic devices like you do, she quietly practices and asks for help, while you won't even touch a computer. That's the difference."

"She handles all our department's documentation, and any paperwork that comes up..."

"Those are just trivial matters. How can you judge based on that?" Xin Yunmao crossed his arms and mocked, "Do you think these tasks are difficult?"

Chu Zhishui replied calmly: "Even trivial matters reveal one's attitude, and if you look down on such tasks, would you even understand if I discussed more challenging matters?"

Xin Yunmao said displeasedly: "What's there not to understand?"

"Very well, let's discuss something more in-depth." Chu Zhishui nodded and fired questions like a machine gun, methodically asking, "The Economic Development Department is just starting up. What are your short, medium, and long-term work objectives? What do you think needs attention in terms of business operations and personnel management? What are your ROI standards for project approval? What kind of performance evaluation and assessment system do you think would better improve the department's efficiency?"

"..."

"If the bureau invests in registering a company and asks you to set its strategic goals, based on existing resources and market forecasts, what do you think should be the company's long-term objectives? How can these long-term goals be broken down into short-term targets? How should various projects be allocated among different departments? What reward and punishment system should be established to ensure departments complete tasks on time?"

"......"

Xin Yunmao couldn't answer for a long while. He stood there with an ashen face, looking quite angry.

Chu Zhishui smiled sweetly and asked gently: "Shall we go back to discussing trivial matters?"

Xin Yunmao glanced at her with piercing cold eyes and said with icy certainty: "You're doing this on purpose."

Seeing him at a loss, Chu Zhishui could barely contain her laughter, saying with a bright smile: "Alright, I was just teasing you. I wasn't really expecting answers, just wanted you to stop throwing your spiritual status around."

She flashed a brilliant smile, unusually showing her teeth rather than her usual restrained smile, like fresh snow revealing itself.

"If you're really that upset, just be more proactive from now on. Won't everything be fine if you do more work than Jin Yu?"

Xin Yunmao remained silent, his face dark as storm clouds, turbulent waves churning in his eyes as he stared at her cheerful expression, seeming to harbor a century's worth of resentment. In his thousand years, he had met countless people, but this was the first time someone had played him so freely, irritating him to the point where his nails dug into his palms.

Human life was so fleeting, and their wisdom could be considered shallow and worldly, yet she was so audacious, completely beyond his comprehension.

Right, she was just human after all. If he used methods that humans preferred, everything would be easily resolved.

Xin Yunmao's chaotic thoughts suddenly cleared, and he relaxed his clenched fists. His eyes darkened, as if seeing through her, and he sneered: "I understand now. After all this, you just wanted to test my abilities."

Humans never act without profit; they only want material things.

Chu Zhishui was surprised: "You mean work abilities? I suppose you could say that?"

"Fine, mortals are always practical. Although I promised to make you a follower, I haven't done anything yet, so I can't blame you for trying to probe in every way possible." Xin Yunmao nodded coldly, "Just this once, make a wish. After this, you must follow the proper worship procedures."

According to common worship practices, once humans sought something from spirits, they had to obey unconditionally. Not to mention the daily incense burning and lamp offerings - if someone like her dared to talk back and make fun of a spirit, they would have been tortured countless times already.

He had no interest in controlling humans and hadn't been strict with her, but she had become increasingly unrestrained.

Now that she wanted something, there was no need to be lenient.

Chu Zhishui didn't understand why he was acting strange again and repeated: "Make a wish?"

"Yes, make your wish. Money, power, status, fame, health, beauty, or the charm to attract others?" His elegant face frosted over, his lips curling into a slight smile that somehow appeared demonic, dispersing his usual cold reticence.

Chu Zhishui suspected she was getting dizzy as the scene before her gradually blurred.

Xin Yunmao wore simple black clothes that emphasized his broad shoulders and tall figure, but now the shadows at his feet began to dance and sway, like eerie, bewitching black ghost fire, following him like a shadow. His face was as white as jade, flickering in the black flames' light - extreme black and white, with only a dancing fire in his eyes.

Chu Zhishui instinctively wanted to rub her eyes.

For a moment, he seemed to be wearing an ancient black robe, but looking carefully, it was definitely modern clothing.

"Mortals struggle their whole lives for nothing but fame and fortune. As long as it's related to you, as long as it's reasonable in this world, everything can be smoothly achieved." His usually clear voice suddenly took on a teasing and bewitching quality, like a nightmare pulling someone into the abyss. "Make your wish now, what do you want?"

Looking at this unfamiliar version of him, she had a strange intuition.

If the Underworld truly existed, he would be its beautiful Messenger of the Underworld, likely ready to reap something with his blade.

Chu Zhishui suppressed her unease and carefully pondered his words.

Xin Yunmao watched her tilt her head in thought, patiently awaiting her response.

After a long while, she shook her head: "I don't want anything."

"What?"

"Sorry, I don't seem to have any wishes."

This was her honest answer; there was nothing urgent she needed.

Xin Yunmao fell silent for a moment, his brows furrowing: "How is that possible? Humans are the embodiment of worldly desires; it's absolutely impossible to have no wishes!"

"I'm going to report you for species discrimination." Chu Zhishui widened her eyes, as if her tail had been stepped on, unusually dissatisfied as she exclaimed, "What did we humans ever do to you!?"

Xin Yunmao's expression remained indifferent: "I've never met anyone without desires. No matter how glamorous they appear on the outside, everyone succumbs to personal desires - they're just too ashamed to admit it, pretending to be virtuous."

Chu Zhishui imitated his usual arrogant tone and said calmly: "Well, maybe I'm just too perfect and don't lack anything. I really don't have any wishes - I'm just too excellent at being human."

"..."

Xin Yunmao had thought he had figured her out, but now he was thrown into confusion again. He pressed his lips together and said: "Still putting on an act. Haven't you been worried about work lately? Don't you wish for career success?"

The Economic Development Department was starting from scratch, and she clearly wasn't having smooth sailing.

"Isn't it normal to face setbacks at work? I'm capable of solving problems, and even if I really can't handle something, why would I need to make a wish for such a small matter?" Chu Zhishui was puzzled. "If I mess up, I mess up. It's not a big deal - Director Hu doesn't have the power to fire me anyway."

As a working professional, her ability to remain unfazed was masterful, completely impervious to pressure.

Xin Yunmao felt like he was punching cotton, and pressed further: "What about other aspects? There must be something you lack?"

"Why do you suddenly want me to make a wish? Just to prove you're stronger than Jin Yu?" Chu Zhishui was particularly confused.

Xin Yunmao laughed in exasperation: "Do I need to prove I'm stronger than her?"

She found it even more puzzling: "Then why did you ask me to make a wish?"

Xin Yunmao's originally cold demeanor was instantly disrupted by her random interruption. He raised his eyebrows impatiently: "Once you make your wish, everything will return to normal."

He had a vague feeling that if she would just ask for something, everything would fall back into place.

His emotions would no longer be swayed by her.

"Huh?" Chu Zhishui was stunned. Seeing his tense expression, she added, "I know what I'm lacking."

Xin Yunmao quickly asked: "What do you lack? Make your wish."

"I lack virtue, so I won't wish for anything."

"?"

Xin Yunmao began to regret coming to the Economic Development Department. Chu Zhishui was more difficult to deal with than any demon!

He persisted in his inquiry, refusing to let her brush him off.

Chu Zhishui couldn't understand his persistence. She decided to give up and replied perfunctorily: "Fine, fine, fine, I have a wish. I'll make it to you, okay?"

Hearing her finally give in, Xin Yunmao became suspicious. He asked with an odd expression: "Your wish isn't about me, is it?"

"Of course not!" Chu Zhishui denied immediately, then paused for a few seconds before hesitantly adding, "Well, it does have something to do with you..."

"Just as I thought. I must have said this before: any wish is fine except responding to that kind of feeling," Xin Yunmao said with an amused tone. He realized she was too cunning; it wasn't that she didn't want anything, she had never given up her original intention.

Chu Zhishui mockingly retorted: "What nonsense, it's not related to what you're saying."

"Then what do you wish for?"

"I wish that you would return to your cold and aloof persona, stay quiet for a while, and not speak for two hours. How's that?" Chu Zhishui said cheerfully. "Such a small wish should be easy for a powerful demon like you, right?"

While opening her computer, she exclaimed dramatically: "Please fulfill my heart's desire, after all, I'm just a greedy human!"

"..."

This was undoubtedly both praise and mockery.

Xin Yunmao was about to speak but held back, returning to his seat sulkily. He crossed his arms and leaned back in his chair, silently staring at Chu Zhishui in front of him, actually following her wished-for silence.

Chu Zhishui was amused by his frustrated appearance: "After I finish my work, if you still want to discuss benefits, we can talk then."

"I..."

Xin Yunmao wanted to say he didn't care about benefits at all, but after uttering just one word, he remembered his promise and abruptly stopped. Finally, he propped his chin on his hand and turned his gaze to the window, refusing to even look at her properly, emanating an awkward and gloomy aura.

Honestly, Chu Zhishui had met many colleagues before, but she had never encountered anyone as amusing as him. It put her in a good mood. She turned back around, working with her back to Xin Yunmao, and remarked with a shake of her head: "You really are a source of joy."

Not a bad nature, just very funny.

Now in his enforced silence mode, Xin Yunmao heard her melodious laughter, which only made him more restless. His emotions were like pages fluttering in the wind, rustling endlessly, impossible to hold down even if he tried, leaving him at the mercy of the strong gusts.

Noticing she had also fallen silent, he couldn't help stealing glances at her with his peripheral vision, only seeing her graceful silhouette.

She really was something else.

Where on earth did Hu Chenrui recruit her from?

"My Lord, she's just an ordinary person without any demon energy. If she causes any offense in the future, I hope you can be tolerant."

Xin Yunmao replayed these words countless times in his mind. After being thwarted by a human, he finally managed to regain a bit of his dignity as a great demon.

However, trying to be tolerant of her proved too difficult: it wasn't just a shallow sea, it was more like China's largest sea: the Difficult Sea (South China Sea).