I will not die a Villainess's death
Chapter 164 164: I Don't Want To Have Regrets [Pt1]

Elysia had a lot of regrets in her life. It would not be too much to say that her life was full of regrets until this day.

She had lied and cheated people. Even when she was sure she had turned a new leaf, there had been times she had looked back and thought how she was not a good person.

But despite all this, she had gotten incredibly lucky and had somehow managed to replace a way out of her troubles. All she had to do was leave the empire and return once all the troubles in her life were over.

'Why was I never able to take this step before? What stopped me from leaving the empire?'

That thought caused Elysia to pause in her packing. Her brain remembered the small snippets of memories she was missing.

Actions of training in the past and the conversations she had with the Head Priests circled Elysia's mind and she put her clothes back down.

'I was never aware of why I felt a sense of wrongness with whatever I did back then but now I know. What the High Priest did to me was conditioning, right? If not for the other world and seeing how they treated their students, I would have never realized that.'

Not that Elysia minded being conditioned to be loyal to the temple. It had been something the Head Priest had thought necessary, so he had acted on his decision.

It was the same for the academy in the other world. It was no one's fault but the system that did not allow for any other action.

"Are you sure you want to run away like this Elysia Dirac? Both the emperor and the Saintess will be disappointed to know that you disappeared like this."

Elysia did not flinch when she heard Lady Emma White's voice. She had heard the other lady's footsteps when she was headed this way.

"It is alright with me and I am sure both Adam and Eve will understand my reasoning. I know I can talk with them but it would just hurt us all even more now."

Elysia was selfish and she did not want to hurt herself. Her resolve to leave would just get weaker if either Adam or Eve asked her to stay back. Elysia was not sure how she would be able to turn away from them.

But Elysia could also not allow her brother to leave for the Akatsuki kingdom alone. What if his health fell and he ended up dying on the way? She could not take that risk.

"I can see why you would think that. But Lady Dirac, not communicating what you think could lead to festering wounds. Just because both Adam and Eve don't say much does not mean they don't have lingering wounds due to your decision. Even if you do not tell them anything, at least you should see them one last time."

Elysia was about to say that Emma White had no right to interfere in her relationships when the expression on her face made Elysia pause.

Most people might not have thought much of it but for Elysia, it was an expression full of doubt and knowledge. It was the expression of someone who was used to being left behind.

"You know, I have been in love with your familiar for some time now and it had been some time since I confessed. But Lord Sorias doesn't even look at me like that. Even the puppy who arrived after me got more affection than me."

Elysia was curious about where this talk was going. It was not often that a female like Emma White spoke this openly.

She had come a long way from that pitiful girl in Elysia's visions and now stood in front of her as a proud lady. Even that sad expression on her face looked lovely to Elysia.

"It hurts when Lord Sorias decides to go out for your sake without telling me. Every time that happens, I think to myself - will be ever come back? Will this be the last time I see him? All those thoughts plague my mind and by the time I come around, I realize that a long time had passed and regret fills my being."

Even though Elysia had no experience like this in her life from what she could remember, she still felt sad hearing Emma talk like that.

Her chest hurt just by hearing Emma White say all this about her relationship and as much as Elysia did not want to compare, she knew that it was similar to her relationship with Adam and Eve.

"I know I might never be 'it' for Lord Soiras since he still sees me as a child even after all this time but it is different for you right? You love the emperor and the Saintess so you want to protect them."

Elysia knew she should not let Emma influence her thought process. It would not only be unfair for herself but for the other two as well if she went to see them right now.

And what would they even talk about? Going to see them right now would only make everything sadder in the end.

"You will regret it if you did not go now."

"Elysia, it's time to depart. Everything is ready so you should load your luggage as well-"

Fear gripped Elysia's heart. She did not want to go away without saying goodbye again. She could not take another forceful leave this soon.

"Sorry Emma, Enma, but can you finish packing for me and load my luggage? I need to take care of something right now."

Elysia ran past the small child who had come to get her. Enma's startled expression was struck inside Elysia's mind as she dashed past him.

But Enma would be alright soon. He was easily started but he was strong in heart. He would get past this in no time.

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"What was that? A typhoon?"

Enma pushed his hand against his chest to calm his racing heart down. Whatever had passed him had done so at a blurry speed.

All he had seen were fashes of black and blue. That indicated that it was likely Elysia who had run past him.

"What did you say to her to make her run away like she was being chased by the devil himself? Are you sure she is alright?"

Enma asked as he watched Emma White with narrowed eyes. Her face had a satisfied smile which made Enma take a few steps back.

It was never good for him when this lady was in a good mood. Enma often became her test subject and ended up in hot waters so he wanted to stay behind this time.

"I did nothing but help some people solve their romantic issues. It's a pity that the only romantic life I cannot seem to help is my own."

Enma had no words for Lady White's words. He did not understand why romance mattered so much to the people of this time. It was not like feelings could make a marriage last forever.

Besides, none of the people around him were normal so their longing for something as normal as 'love' was a little tough to understand.

"From your expression, I can see that you don't care and also don't understand what I am saying. I guess you are still a child after all."

"Enough of playing around. Ugh, Elysia hardly even packed anything so what should we do now? Lucas Dirac was in a hurry to leave for some reason. He looked anxious. What should I say to him now?"

That made Emma pause for a good minute. For Lucas Dirac to be concerned about leaving early could only mean one thing.

The temple was getting involved in this issue and Lucas Dirac wanted to leave before they could make a move against him.  But Emma's interference might have made things a little difficult for him.

"Ugh, I think I made a mistake. I should hurry up and hide so that I can abolish any guilt from myself."

Emma White left the scene, leaving Enma behind. He could only look at her retreating back in shock, his small figure still surrounded by all the suitcases and dresses Elysia had never gotten around to packing.

"Hey wait. At least help me out or tell me how I need to pack a girl's luggage….DARN IT, SHE'S GONE."

Enma cringed at seeing all the things Elysia owned around being kept in different sections of the room. He needed to start from the top and pack everything.

He picked up the dress Elysia had been meaning to get when something fell on the floor. It was a familiar-looking mirror and it was being kept in Elysia's closet.

"Mirror of Isis? But why does Elysia have it? Did it not go missing once Elysia was taken captive?"

That had been the case for sure. Then why did Elysia have this mirror back?

Or, was someone trying to frame her?