I Won’t Accept Your Regrets
Chapter 11:

"What?"

I was very surprised when I heard what Helen announced.

Raymond had never visited the Empress's palace at such an early hour.

Soon I came to my senses and said:

"Let him in."

After the maid left, the door opened. As I watched Raymond enter the room, I was the first to say hello.

"I welcome His Majesty,” I bowed in curtsy.

"Rise up, Empress."

He held out his hand, as he always did.

I used to stand up holding his hand and smile, but not this time.

I pretended not to see his hand, so I stood up and looked at him.

Raymond looked down at his empty hand and raised his eyebrows slightly.

"What are you doing in the Empress's palace at such an early hour?"

Hearing my question, Raymond leaned towards me.

"……"

He didn't answer my question and stared at me.

I thought that he might be angry with me for ignoring his hand, but the black eyes that looked at me showed no trace of anger.

It was an indescribable sparkle in the eyes.

Why…?

He never looked at me like that. He never cared enough for me to have difficult emotions.

Raymond blinked slowly. The black eyes blinked once more and no longer showed any emotion as before.

The moment I thought what I was imagining, Raymond turned.

"I'm going to talk to you, so send your servants."

When all the maids were gone, Raymond opened his mouth.

"I need to say something."

"Yes? Me too, but first you.”

"It's about Edmund."

“When the temple's answer came, I also decided to talk to you. Ray, what's your decision?”

“I'm sorry, but he cannot bear the status of a commoner while imperial blood flows in him. Because I know better what it's like to be an unrecognized child.”

At that moment, painful sadness was reflected in his dark eyes.

A family member who wasn’t recognized by the emperor…

He also knew the kind of abuse and contempt such a child could receive.

He may be projecting his past onto Edmond.

But now all this will be irrelevant.

"And what is your decision?"

"I will recognize Edmund as a member of the royal family and raise him to the rank of the first prince of the empire."

This is exactly what I expected.

But why? Instead of getting upset, my head went colder.

But on the other hand, I was grateful.

Until this morning, I was really worried about my feelings for him, but now that I see Ray, I don't think I have anything positive about this person.

I laughed quietly at myself.

Raymond's eyes narrowed as he sensed that my laugh was somehow different from usual.

Just before he began to speak, I quietly called his name.

"Ray. Make Edmond the first prince is your wish. But first I need to tell you something."

"Yes, tell it. We closed the topic with Edmund, and now I will do whatever you want."

I hope so. I didn't want to end the conversation with him in order to prolong this jubilant feeling.

I smiled bitterly, looking into Raymond's black eyes, which seemed to reflect the constellations.

I looked him straight in the eyes and calmly said:

"I demand a divorce."

"…What do you demand?"

At that moment, Raymond's eyes stared at me in bewilderment, as if he could not understand my words.

For the first time, his excitement made me feel relieved.

I spoke again with a soft smile.

"I don't want to admit Edmond, so divorce me."

"Don't talk nonsense."

It was the voice of cold reproach. He seems to have decided that I was trying to prevent Edmond from entering the imperial house by threatening to divorce.

Yes, anyone would think so.

But also, anyone who knows me even a little will surely believe that I really want to divorce Raymond.

But he knows how much I love him, so he probably won't believe me at first.

In the same way, I couldn't believe that for the first time I uttered the word ‘divorce’.

My heart was still calm.

"Ray, Edmond is your son. Even if I deny it, he will still become a prince. I won't talk with you about this anymore."

"If that's not the reason, then why are you asking for a divorce?"

"The reason I decided to marry you was because I loved you… and wanted to be close to you."

"Why are you talking about it now? I said that there will be no other woman, so stay in your place as an empress."

"Because I don’t love you anymore!" I shouted.

At that moment, Raymond's eyes widened even more. And soon a strangled voice rang out:

"Ha, you don't love me? You and I are not an ordinary couple. We are the emperor and empress. Do you miss my love? Do you just want to get a divorce for this reason? I would prefer you to be more honest with me!" Raymond shouted back.

Anger flashed across his indifferent face.

Only, only if…

My chest went cold. For him, my love was just an obstacle.

"Ray, do you really think that there were no problems between us other than the lack of love from your side?"

"……"

Raymond had an angry face. He licked his lips, but he couldn’t say anything.

"Thanks to Lisa and Edmond. Because it gave me enlightenment about this useless relationship."

"…You must have felt bad because of her return. I understand, but we will not divorce."

"Raymond, I…"

Hearing me calling him, he turned away, as if not wanting to listen anymore.

"Come in!"

The head maid outside hurried to his command.

"Now order the knights on my behalf to watch over the empress’s palace. It is absolutely impossible to visit and leave the palace without my permission."

"Raymond!"

Finally he spoke unilaterally and turned away from me.

I tried to take his hand, but he shook my hands off.

When he left, Helen hurried to him.

"Your Majesty, are you all right?"

Helen must have been very surprised because this was the first time the emperor had been so angry.

"I'm fine."

"The Emperor has restricted access to the palace,” Helen muttered carefully as I watched.

I didn't think Raymond would get divorced easily, but it was a much stronger reaction than I expected.

It seemed to me that it was difficult for me to convince Raymond alone.

"Helen, there is something you need to do urgently before the knights come."

"Yes?"

Helen's eyes widened at my words. I hastily wrote a short letter.

I think I need my father's help.

I needed the authority of my father, Duke Croft.

I wanted to quietly end this without my father's help… but I have no choice.

I handed Helen a letter, which I sealed in an envelope.

“Send it to the Croft Duchy now.”

"Yes, Your Majesty."

When Helen left, I looked out the window at Raymond's palace, the Sun Palace.

* * *

Back in the study, Raymond abruptly unbuttoned the top button of his uniform.

However, even after that, the anger didn’t disappear.

His throat seemed to be clogged and he could not say a word.

"I demand a divorce."

The moment Ellie's calm voice echoed in his head, Raymond threw his desk hard hard.

Heavy blows were heard in the office.

The manager quickly dealt with the frightened servants and went up to the emperor.

“Your Majesty, calm down.”

Raymond took a deep breath as he heard the servant's words.

Others would not dare to approach Raymond now.

However, the steward was an exception, because he was the man who had served Raymond since the time of the former crown prince, and Raymond did not hide his feelings from the assistant steward.

"You must be very tense."

No matter how much I breathed, my stomach burned.

What the hell is making me so upset?

Just because Ellie wants to divorce me?

I never thought she would leave me first, but it was still weird to be so angry.

It is correct to think rationally, and not to be angry with her for mentioning the divorce.

Yes, I had to calm her down with arguments, but I couldn't.

"Because I don’t love you anymore!"

As soon as I heard the words "I do not love", it seemed that my body was cramping.