Memoirs of the Returnee
Chapter 129: What you Desire (2)

Elise returned to the dormitory.

She didn’t turn on the lights. She just sat on the bed, using the darkness as a blanket. She didn’t even lie down.

She felt like she was going to throw up.

She just hugged her knees and looked out the window, thinking. She murmured quietly.

“Revenge.”

Revenge.

The word that Shion Ascal casually spat out was, however, too meaningful to her. It was sharp, like a stake stabbing her heart.

He must know about the inexplicable death of his mother, which was no different from the starting point of all his misfortunes.

However, that information must be incomplete. Right now, he might be looking at an inaccurate picture, painstakingly collecting scattered pieces like fragments. He might be trying to complete that vague mosaic with the help of Libra’s power.

In other words – he ‘still’ doesn’t know.

That the object of his revenge is Petra.

Therefore, Petra is Shion’s enemy.

Conversely, Shion is Petra’s Achilles’ heel.

She can’t hide that secret forever. No secret stays hidden forever.

He will definitely replace out someday.

About Petra, who killed his mother.

“……Haah.”

Then, what should I do? What should I do from now on?

Should I do it for the family?

Or should I do it for my conscience?

“……”

I still don’t know.

She can’t tell Shion the truth, and she can’t forcibly cover it up, so she’s just in pain.

Petra still doesn’t know about Shion’s existence, and Shion doesn’t know either, so only she’s in pain……

Unable to bear it, Elise eventually picked up her smartphone. She sent a text as if pressing hard.

[ Can you open a counseling session? ]

At Your Service. The person she can at least vent her frustrated feelings to.

Ding-

[ At Your Service: I can. ]

The reply is always quick as if it had been waiting. After all, she is a VIP in her own right.

[ This time, it’s not about me. A friend of mine came to me for this kind of counseling. Let me explain first. It’s a bit complicated…… ]

The relationship between Shion, Petra, and herself.

She lumped it all together under the excuse of ‘a friend’ and spilled it out.

[ Which side should this ‘friend’ choose? Should they choose family, or should they choose the victim? ]

[ At Your Service: First of all, in my opinion, this ‘friend’ is not just struggling between the victim and the family. ]

“……?”

Elise tilted her head.

[ Then what? ]

[ At Your Service: It’s their conscience. ]

“Ah……”

It was a slight feeling of being touched in the heart.

This is not just a problem of Shion and the family. There is one more thing.

Conscience.

[ At Your Service: However. Even so, in the end, shouldn’t they protect their family? ]

“……Family.”

Elise bit her lip slightly.

[ At Your Service: Let’s think about it calmly. Strangers can’t take precedence over family. ]

[ But……. ]

[ At Your Service: Even so, if you want to keep your conscience, tell them to naturally distance themselves without telling the family, without revealing it to the other party. Tell them to naturally become strangers. ]

“…….”

The reply is to naturally distance themselves.

It might be the right thing to say.

She can’t give up her family. She doesn’t want to exclude Shion by standing on the side of the family.

Then, just let it be. If she distances herself from Shion, and doesn’t tell the family about Shion……

Ding-

While she was slowly contemplating, the last reply from [At Your Service] came.

[ At Your Service: But if that becomes too hard. If it’s too painful to quietly distance yourself. It’s still possible to follow your conscience. Family takes precedence over strangers, but it’s not more important than yourself. ]

Family takes precedence over strangers……

But it’s not more important than yourself.

Elise stared at that sentence for a long time.

* * *

There was a lecture by a famous speaker invited by Libra at night in Aerial Garden. It was quite grandly held in the large hall of Section 3, but I skipped it.

Because my body hurt too much.

The side effects of the Severing Sword were that severe. I had only deployed two strokes, but the load on my body had pierced through my recovery ability.

Instead, the following day.

As soon as I woke up, I came to Libra’s state-of-the-art swordsmanship training room. I called Grawl because it was a bit lonely.

─Meow meow.

The guy asked while stretching.

─Did you sleep well?

“Yeah.”

─Then please set me free~

He lifted his front paw and scratched my calf. Rub rub rub rub-

“You said your goal is survival anyway. What are you going to do if I set you free?”

─I can get my own food. If I replace any other valuable items, I’ll bring those too.

In other words, automatic hunting, Auto farming is possible.

It’s pretty tempting.

“Then. Can you maintain that form even if you’re far from me?”

─Yes. Now, I can maintain it up to 15㎞~20㎞ depending on the mana concentration. You can give me orders at any time, no matter how far away you are~

He rubbed his face against my leg.

“Hmm…….”

The cat resembles a Ragdoll, so it wouldn’t be much of an issue to let it roam free.

“……When we’re out of Aerial Garden. I’ll allow it then. You can’t wander around here.”

─Okay~

The guy spun around in his place, laughing softly.

Thud- The door opened just then.

“Ah, Shion. You were already here…… Oh.”

It was Soliette. As soon as she entered, she paused and looked at my cat with shaky eyes.

“How was last night?”

Last night’s session was a knight lecture.

“……A famous swordsman came. Do you know Benedict?”

Benedict. A second-rank knight, who is almost a first-rank. He is handsome, and he often appears in the entertainment industry. Hence, his recognition is much higher than most first-rank knights.

“I know him. He’s handsome, isn’t he?”

“Yes. It seems so.”

“…Really?”

“Yes. But are you okay? I heard you collapsed while teaming.”

She asked while looking at me, but her hands were busy trying to lure the cat.

As Grawl approached, her face melted, and her legs slightly dropped.

“I didn’t collapse; I was just resting. How many waves did you do?”

“I cleared up to the 9th wave. It was tough.”

“…….”

All 9 waves. Given Soliette’s talent as a knight, it would be strange if she couldn’t clear them.

“Then…….”

Ahem. I cleared my throat.

There’s a reason why I’m meeting Soliette this morning.

“By any chance. Is the swordsmanship lesson you mentioned last time still valid?”

It’s because of my concerns about swordsmanship.

“Haha… Swordsmanship, you mean Arkne swordsmanship?”

I had rejected Soliette’s offer for swordsmanship lessons, thinking about the Severing Sword, but I regretted it later.

“Yeah. That one.”

If my current sword skill is 100, then the Severing Sword only accounts for 3.

The remaining 97 is the Changing Sword.

Of course, because it’s hard. Because it feels like my body is going to break. The most fundamental part of the Severing Sword that Soliette used, to me, is a killer move that requires pouring out my soul.

Therefore, in the end, my main weapon has to be the Changing Sword.

To develop that, I need ‘material’.

“Have you given up on that master you mentioned?”

Soliette crossed her arms with a mischievous face.

“…… For now.”

After all, that master is Soliette, and this master is also Soliette.

She shrugged her shoulders.

“It doesn’t matter. But I’m strict when I teach.”

Soliette made a tiger-like expression.

“That’s why I didn’t become a youth instructor at the Arkne Swordsmanship Academy. Because the kids cried when they saw me.”

“It’s okay. But, I won’t use the Arkne sword as it is. I’m going to dismantle it. Disassemble it, tear it apart.”

The Arkne swordsmanship is one of the top swordsmanship in the continent, but to me, it’s just ‘perfect material’.

I’m going to tear and rip apart the arcane of that sword, which has been built up for hundreds of years, and graft it onto my Changing Sword like scraps.

Soliette smirked.

“It’s a sword with a 500-year history. It will be hard to disassemble.”

“We’ll see. It’s the Changing Sword, after all.”

Soliette loosened her body with a face that looked somewhat pleased.

“Rather than a Changing Sword, how about a Counterbalance Sword?”

“Counterbalance Sword?”

“Yes. It embodies the ‘counter’ aspect in balance and opposition. Hence, Counterbalance Sword. It also has a certain ring to it.”

Counterbalance Sword. It does sound appealing.

“It’s not bad.”

Soliette smiled faintly and said.

“Then take your sword. Let’s get started right away.”

I held the Ascal sword.

“Arkne swordsmanship consists of quite a few forms, but among them, there is a most important basic form.”

“Eight Swords?”

“Yes. It’s quite famous. Even Shion knows about it.”

The Arkne’s first sword form and the basic one, 「Eight Swords」.

Typically, swordsmen divide space into eight directions: up, down, left, right, and the four diagonals. Therefore, the Eight Swords form is a sword form that targets all eight directions.

It’s the basis of Arkne style, but it’s known to be on a different level in terms of depth and difficulty compared to the basics of other styles.

“Eight Swords is divided into 1st Sword Form, 2nd Sword Forms, 3rd Sword Forms… up to the final 8th Sword Forms.”

“That sounds simple.”

“It’s efficient and intuitive. There’s no need for abstract names.”

No wonder Soliette values efficiency.

“In practice, it’s simple too. The 1st Sword Form consists of eight initial forms attacking the upper area. The 2nd Sword Forms consist of eight initial forms attacking the upper right area.”

“The 3rd Sword Forms target the right side?”

“Yes. 4th Sword Forms target the lower right. 5th Sword Forms target the bottom. It’s easier if you think in terms of a clock’s direction.”

In other words, 1st Sword Form to 8th Sword Form each consists of eight initial forms attacking a single direction.

“That’s why Eight Swords is difficult. We combine these eight forms depending on the situation and space. Therefore, the number of combinations is virtually infinite.”

Of course, there’s a reason why it’s more difficult than most sword techniques, even though it’s just the basics.

…There seems to be a reason why it’s difficult.

I quietly looked at the blade of my sword.

I recalled Soliette’s words just now.

‘Infinite combinations’.

This is my first time hearing an explanation about Eight Swords, but for some reason.

Somehow.

It seems to suit me quite well.

“Of course, I don’t utilize all of the Eight Swords. Even if you only utilize three initial forms from each sword form, if you consider attacking all eight directions, the number of combinations is 3 to the power of 8. That’s 6,561 possibilities.”

Of course, that’s the case.

It’s a matter of human memory.

However…

“Is that so?”

I feel like I can do it.

I feel like I can memorize the entire system and initial forms of ‘Eight Swords’ that dominate space and utilize them appropriately.

Because the subject of that memory is not me, but the 「Notepad」.

I smiled slightly and looked at Soliette.

“This will be fun.”

* * *

…2 hours later.

“Your memory is exceptional, Shion.”

Soliette said, fiddling with her sword. Shion was lying flat, on the verge of death.

Her words about being a tiger teacher in swordsmanship were not an exaggeration. She was not a person who exaggerated in the first place.

For 120 minutes, Shion didn’t rest for even 10 seconds.

“It’s my first time seeing someone memorize from 1st Sword Form to 4th Sword Form all at once.”

On the other hand, Soliette was amazed. As she said, Shion had memorized a total of 32 initial forms from 1st Sword Form to 4th Sword Form.

「129 / 130」

Capacity history within the last 24 hours: +20

Thanks to this, the 「Notepad」 is on the verge of bursting. Now, I need to reduce its capacity by attuning it through repetitive training.

“……Shion.”

Soliette called him.

“……”

Shion did not respond.

“It’s a shame. If you had learned this ten years earlier, you could have been with us in our family.”

Soliette was with the cat. Sitting cross-legged, she held the cat on her lap.

She spoke.

“Shion.”

“……”

“Shion-”

“……”

“Shion-”

“……Why do you keep talking when I’m so tired?”

She glanced at him as she stroked the cat.

“Yesterday, I thought about what you said, Shion. You said let’s go to the end.”

“That’s right.”

“Why…… do you want to be with me?”

A voice purely curious.

But within it, there was a hint of doubt.

Soliette is not a fool. She’s not a clueless idiot. It’s too much to say that it’s simply because of Knightmare. His emotions were too intense.

Shion said……

“I’m similar to you.”

“……Yes?”

“The person I loved died.”

At his words, Soliette’s eyes widened. Shion sat up. He brushed his hair back as he shook off his sweat-soaked shirt.

“So, I think I know what you’re filled with now.”

Two names came to mind.

Jared and Felix.

“So I’m helping. I’m afraid you might commit suicide.”

“……”

Suicide. She had never told anyone, but Soliette had never not thought about it.

It comes very naturally. Suddenly, while walking, swinging a sword, taking a shower.

Reality doesn’t feel real. The reality of being awake feels like a dream, and the people who appear in dreams feel more real.

Wanting to return to the dream where she is with them again……

“Just like now.”

Snap-! Shion flicked his finger. Soliette turned to him in surprise.

Even then, she didn’t stop stroking the cat. It was already instinctive.

“Let’s not die. We promised. To go to the end.”

“……”

Soliette quietly widened her eyes.

While touching the cat’s ears, she murmured.

“Do people…… get forgotten.”

“I don’t know.”

Shion shrugged his shoulders.

“Even if you can’t forget, you have to make it not unbearable. The living should live. Go to the hospital. There are so many people who despair because they have no tomorrow.”

Soliette, who had been lost in thought for a moment, soon smiled and said.

“You’re right. But what’s this cat’s name? Cutie? Lovey?”

“……What kind of naming sense is that. It’s Grawl.”

“Grawl? That’s even stranger.”

Soliette hardened her voice strictly.

“It sounds like a monster’s name.”

Indeed, she had intuition.

* * *

……For three days, I stayed in Section 3 of Aerial Garden.

The program itself was beneficial. Thanks to it, I got a rough idea of how highly educated professionals who had been to university cooperate to perform tasks.

It was highly systematic. It was completely different from the improvisation of the underground world.

“How was the program?”

This place is the Libra counseling room.

The last schedule of the program, a one-on-one with ‘Belingham Kantar’.

I answered him as I faced him.

“It was beneficial.”

“Despite that, your program score was in the lower ranks. You see? You’re in the 100th place out of 110.”

I couldn’t avoid the lower ranks in several programs I participated in with college students. They were literally on a different ‘level’.

“The Libra entrance exam will be ten times harder… Can you do it?”

“Yes. I think I can.”

However, I am overflowing with confidence.

I am certain.

Even if I’m pushed back now, I can catch up quickly.

“It’s good that you’re not discouraged.”

Belingham twisted the corners of his mouth.

“You keep that black card for now. We won’t take it back. There’s a Libra executive who likes you, Shion.”

“……Is this card important?”

I glanced at the black card placed on the desk.

“You need that to participate in Libra’s public recruitment. Also, you can freely enter and exit Section 3 and use all the facilities for free.”

“I see.”

I see. It was a great thing.

I quickly put the card in my pocket. Belingham raised his eyebrows and looked at his wristwatch.

“Well. I can’t give much time to those in the lower ranks. It’s been a minute.”

Belingham pointed to the door.

“Oh yes. Take care.”

I got up from my seat.

“……It’s strange, isn’t it, Shion?”

Belingham looked up at me with his unique gray eyes.

“If you like Libra, shouldn’t you respect me? I might become your superior someday.”

“That’s why. I showed respect by saying take care.”

“……”

Leaving a bewildered Belingham behind, I left.

Outside the counseling room building, in the park. I spotted a familiar figure walking somewhere.

“Huh?”

It was Elise.

“Hey.”

I approached her and called out. She wasn’t surprised. She looked back at me with a blank expression.

“……What is it.”

Her response was quite cold. She used to act unnecessarily friendly when we were teaming.

Does she have bipolar disorder these days?

“When did you say you’re going on a trip?”

I asked naturally. Elise answered in a weak tone.

“It’s been two days since the teaming ended. The schedule sharing is over.”

“I see.”

“……”

There was no answer.

To be honest, it would be best not to go on the trip at all, but she’s not the type to not go if told not to.

“Have a good trip.”

That’s all I said. Elise didn’t react, but I laid the groundwork.

“I’m going on a trip soon too.”

Maybe, we might meet.

No, we probably will meet.

“……Congratulations. Go on your own.”

Just then, a car arrived. It was a luxury sedan.

With a whirring sound, the window rolled down, and inside were Layla and Kain.

“Elly~ Shion is here too~? Get in quickly! Shion too! We’ll take you to Section 5!”

Elise got in the back seat, and I looked at Kain.

“What are you looking at, man. If you want to ride, get on.”

Kain was surprisingly generous. After some hesitation, I sat next to Elise.

“……Wow, Shion is really getting in?”

Layla in the driver’s seat looked at the rearview mirror and made a surprised expression. I retorted.

“Should I get off?”

“No, no! Let’s go right away~!”

Layla immediately stepped on the accelerator.

Vroooom──!

It was an unnecessarily high-speed pace.