My Darling Mayhem
: Chapter 16

A pair of sunglasses perched on my face while I watched the city fly by and trees begin to appear. Archer had driven us an hour south, narrowly missing the main artery of New York City, until we started veering West toward a national park.

Kane and Cruz talked in the back seat while a few toys sat scattered between their little booster seats. Archer’s bike was tied down in the back of the truck, and the way he kept looking over at me and smiling had something in my belly swooping and catching fire.

I smiled back and realized I needed to tell Cruz about my feelings for Archer. It was only a matter of time before he caught us holding hands or kissing. Our touches were becoming more insistent as if we couldn’t keep our hands off each other.

But was it smart to do that before—I shook my head, hoping to displace those thoughts. It didn’t matter what Archer did or didn’t do. My son deserved to know how I felt about our neighbor because Cruz was the center of my life, and I knew he loved me. I needed to share this part of my life with him. Because even if Archer wasn’t sure how he felt, I knew that I was.

I watched the countryside pass us while trees with orange and yellow leaves came in and out of focus along the windy road down the canyon. Archer was talking to the boys about this lake and how he used to play in it when he was a kid, but suddenly, the sound of thunder had me sitting up and looking around. It was so loud.

Archer caught my confusion and started laughing. “Look behind us, Wren.”

I turned and tried to catch what I could from the glass in the window. A few yards back from us, traveling down the canyon, were dozens of motorcycles. Men, some with women on the back, others alone. They all rode in unison, taking up both lanes of traffic, and they all wore those leather vests that Archer did.

“How many are there?” I mused, unsure if I meant for Archer to answer me, but he did anyway.

“We’re expecting around a hundred or so today.”

One hundred? My eyes likely matched my shock as I tried to register how many riders were behind us.

“They’re not passing you.”

Kane was the one to answer my question this time. “That’s because Archer is the president. They’re showing him respect by riding behind him.”

Something like pride flickered through me. All these men loyal to Archer, to the club.

This didn’t feel the same as El Peligro. His club…he was right, they weren’t a gang…I wasn’t sure what made them different, but I wanted to discover and figure out what it was. Nerves rattled around in my stomach as the rumble of their engines eclipsed our music and seemed to increase in sound as we neared the bottom of the canyon.

Once we finally pulled into a parking space, my fingers felt like they were trembling. What if they laughed at me or thought I was stupid for being here? What if they thought one of their own women would be better suited for him, or if Lydia’s sister showed up and tried to⁠—

Suddenly, Archer’s fingers gripped my chin, forcing me to look at him.

“Hey.”

I relaxed into his hold, loving how his eyes seemed to peel back layers of my fears and step inside them as if he was physically taking them from me.

“It’s just a barbecue. Don’t overthink it.”

Cruz sat up, watching us with his head tilted. He was going to ask about Archer holding my face. He was going to ask what we were, and I wouldn’t know what to tell him.

“Will there be hot dogs here?”

Archer laughed, and I found that I did, too. Then, I lowered my face and began a few breathing exercises. This was ridiculous. They were just people like me, like Archer.

We exited the truck, and I helped Cruz out of his door. He jumped in my arms and clung to my neck, then whispered a question that made me freeze.

“I think he wants to be your boyfriend, Mama.”

Playing along, I whispered back, “Who?”

He giggled, and I shut the truck door, still holding my son to my chest. “Archer.”

“Ohhhh, I see.” I smiled while walking around the hood, keeping my eyes on the people starting to park around us. The engines rumbled and echoed, thrumming through me like thunder.

“What would you think of that if he was?”

The sun was bright and warm, even with the autumn leaves covering the ground. The air had a slight chill, but it was cool against my overly warm-skin. We had on light jackets and snug boots with jeans. Kane was walking ahead of us with Archer, holding his hand while peeking back at us every few seconds.

Cruz got closer to my ear and spoke louder. “Well, I’m the one who wished for it, silly.”

My nose burned as tears lined my eyes. He’d wished for Archer to like me, for us to be here with him. A peace settled over me that I had never experienced. Something so foreign as I watched Archer walk like I was being pulled by him or like we were connected. For once in my life, I wasn’t all alone.

The other members began pulling into rows, lining up their bikes without fitting into any set parking spaces. It was as though they’d just created their own. My steps picked up, hurrying a bit to get closer to Archer. Not that I was afraid…I just, I was nervous. I had arrived with their president, and I still wasn’t entirely sure what that meant or how serious that was.

But something told me I was about to replace out.

I had occasionally imagined what it might mean for Archer to be the president of a motorcycle club when thinking of him in those moments I swore I wouldn’t. Or when I was trying to justify why it would be such a bad idea to place my trust in a man who held the allegiance and attention of such a group, but nothing could have prepared me for actually witnessing it.

I was very good at determining how a man watched other men in power and Archer’s men…they watched his every move as if he were the most important person in the world. These men didn’t want Archer’s position or think someone else should have it; they looked at him like they’d do anything to protect him. It was the closest, I thought, that I’d ever come to seeing men look at a man they considered their king.

“So, Wren, right?” A woman named Rosy had sidled up to me, handing me a can of beer. “How did you tame the untamable?” Her brown eyes were bright, and her smile seemed friendly as she spoke with me. I cracked the top of the beer and sipped it carefully, knowing there was no way I’d ever drink enough to lose my faculties while my son was here, surrounded by strangers. I hoped that Archer understood how much trust I was putting in him to even be here with Cruz, to begin with.

My eyes trailed over to Archer, seeing him sit in a circle with a few other men, but Cruz and Kane took up both sides of where he sat while he helped them arrange their marshmallows for roasting and prepping smores.

“I’m not sure what you mean.” My attention slid back to Rosy.

She was tall with frosted white hair, dark roots, and bold makeup. She wore a leather cut; I was learning they weren’t called vests but cuts, over her long-sleeved shirt. Her patch said she was the property of someone named Nolan.

Rosy sipped her drink and then lifted it toward Archer. “Never seen him with anyone like this. These outings are for families. In the past, he’d arrive late, eat a burger, drink a beer, and then just take off again. It was like being around all of us was difficult for him. He always seemed to fit in the role of president, but none of us ever imagined he might settle down.”

My heart rioted, feeling swollen as I considered her words. Archer smiled at Cruz as he helped pull his marshmallow stick out of the fire. He looked happy, smiling and laughing while the men around him helped their kids.

He looked like a dad.

Rosy took pity on my lack of conversational skills as I watched the man I was slowly but positively falling in love with. “Looks like maybe he isn’t the only one this is new for. You seem like the type to not let random men around your kid, which makes this much more interesting.”

I was still watching him as I muttered in reply, “How can you tell?”

“You’re a single mom, and I can tell you’re a good one. Which means you’ve fought like hell for your kid. People mean well, but no one really understands until they’ve lived it. Being the only person your kid has in the whole world. It’s a scary and daunting feeling to wield that alone, to protect your kid’s heart and make sure they’re safe from anyone who might hurt them. You pay for everything on your own; you’re the only one on duty when they’re sick or scared. All the bills are yours to worry about. The damn grass has to get mowed, that’s on you. The garbage, holidays. Even if you have helpful family, it’s not the same. It builds up this thickness around you and gives off a vibe. I can feel it from you.”

My focus was on her now, her kind eyes and meaningful gesture as she spoke about things no one had ever seemed to understand about me. My throat felt thick as I battled a rogue emotion that wanted an escape. No one had ever quite surmised me in that way before.

“I was a bitch to him in the beginning.” I laughed, sipping my drink and feeling my voice crack slightly.

Rosy laughed, shaking her head. “Guess you’d have to be.”

“He was so nice and helpful. Scared the living shit out of me, to be honest.”

“Didn’t hurt he looked like that on top of it, right?”

My face broke into a smile as laughter spilled out of me. “Right.”

“Well, for what it’s worth. All of us Old Ladies really like you, and we’re excited to see him so happy.” Her hand came to my arm and gently squeezed before walking off. I watched as she bent down and pulled a little toddler from a man who wore a cut that said, Nolan. He kissed her, and she fell into his arms while holding the toddler. Something shifted in my chest.

Was that envy?

Did I want that with Archer, a toddler with his hair and a piece of leather on my back that said I belonged to him?

Yes.

Archer’s eyes found mine from across the distance, and I held his gaze while I made my way over. It felt electric, as if that piece of lightning really was trapped inside him, and now it wanted a way inside me, too.

Kane and Cruz relaxed in the little camping chairs that someone had brought. Once I was in front of Archer’s knees, he tugged on my hand and pulled me into his lap. I went easily, feeling protected and safe, as he pulled me under his chin and began talking to his men. They spoke of rides they’d been on, crazy things they’d done, and old memories of times past. Laughter erupted nearly every five seconds, but it was refreshing and freeing. My son had a smile that hadn’t waned since we arrived, and seeing him so happy was a feeling I’d never thought I’d have.

Of being whole and a part of something.

It was well past dinner while Kane and Cruz played with other kids, happily yelling and running, when Archer tugged me close.

“How would you feel about Thistle watching the boys for a second while I take you on a ride?”

I’d met his best friend and vice president the day they worked on my fence. After Archer had dealt with Brian and kissed me, I calmed down and took them all snacks. He’d seemed so remorseful about the fence that I had no choice but to forgive him. He was also extremely protective of Archer and Kane, which was something I had picked up on immediately. It didn’t go unnoticed by me that Archer had asked him to take the boys in the back when Brian had arrived that day so they didn’t witness any violence.

Thistle had done it without question and kept the boys safe. I had a good feeling in my gut about him, so I nodded.

“I’d be okay with that.”

Archer’s brows lifted like he was shocked. “Really?”

I slapped his stomach, feeling his muscles underneath. “I’m trying. I keep telling you this.”

He kissed my jaw, smiling against my skin. “My darling, mayhem. There’s anarchy under those beautiful lashes and that fucking sinfully smooth skin. You’re a wildfire, and I love it.”

He let me go and walked ahead to get Thistle’s attention, but my pulse had skyrocketed at his words. They felt like midnight against my skin. Like he’d found me in a forest and started singing, just like in the cartoons. Like he was a rugged, misunderstood prince trying to sweep me off my feet from the moment he met me.

Fuck, I was done for.

I was in love with him. My steps slowed as the realization washed over me. He laughed with Thistle, then bent low to talk to Kane and Cruz, making a circle with his finger and pointing to where they could go, then up at Thistle. I knew what he was saying, and still, my mind went to how my heart had officially caved, opening up for him and letting him have space in a place I’d never allowed anyone.

Most of all, I couldn’t stop thinking about how incredibly dangerous it was to let him completely in and have something he’d never even asked for.

The ride up the canyon on Archer’s bike was beautiful and peaceful. I had never been on the back of a motorcycle, and it felt like a hidden secret or something; it felt like flying. My hair whipped behind me while my fingers held firm to his waist, and we crested the top of a ravine, looking down.

Archer parked his bike, pushing the kickstand down, and I untangled my arms from him.

His hand came out and held my thigh in place. “Stay put.”

I sat back on the leather seat and watched as he swung his leg over and stood. The wind blew pieces of his hair lightly askew while he walked to the saddle bag on the side of his bike. The gravel crunched under his boots, and rushing water echoed from the canyon. The sun was setting lower in the sky but still bright enough to offer warmth.

“Close your eyes.” His playful smirk had butterflies shooting off in my stomach.

My eyes fluttered closed, and I felt the breeze caress my face. Archer’s hands returned to my thighs, and he held me in place while the bike slightly shifted. I felt his knees cradling mine, which must have meant he was back on the bike but facing me.

“Before you open your eyes, I need you to know something.” Archer’s voice was soft and gentle but prodded at that place he’d taken up in my heart, making it throb. “This, what I’m about to say and do…it’s not a light thing. This…in our lifestyle, this means something. It’s important, and while it won’t hold the same weight for you, I need you to understand that for me, it’s almost as serious as a…” His voice trailed off, and I could feel hesitation or fear in his lungs. I wanted to open my eyes and see his face, see that flush of red hit the hollow part of his jaw, and see how he grabbed at his neck.

“This is serious for me, Wren. I just need you to know that.”

He gently took my hand and whispered, “Open your eyes.”

I did, seeing his smiling face in front of me, his body close to mine, cradling mine between his wide legs. A folded piece of leather sat between us, and my breath hitched.

“This is yours. It’s probably too fast, but…I just…” He trailed off and cleared his throat. “I know that it’s still new, and I told you I wanted you to take me seriously, and I mean that, but I also want others to know you belong to me. I want you to know that you belong to me.”

I grabbed the black leather and held it up, gently tracing the words and letting the finality of this moment soak into my soul.

White stitching printed out the words “Property of” along the upper part of the material. The insignia of Mayhem Riot was sewn into the middle, and along the bottom was the word “Archer.” But then my fingers moved to the shoulders where two patches were sewn. The left shoulder patch said, “President’s, and the right shoulder said, “Wife.”

My eyes flew up to his.

His Adam’s apple bobbed, and his voice came out rushed and almost panicked. “It’s just a term we use. I know it seems intense, but it just means you’re mine, and no one can mess with you or try to touch you…it’s just a⁠—”

I cut him off by throwing my arms around him.

He pulled me into his lap, my legs going over his hips as he kissed me, and I kissed him back.

My heart felt free, my soul on fire, and I was happy. The happiest I’d ever been in my entire life. I was in love. The kind that made my belly swoop, my nerves rattle, and unbidden smiles stretch along my face. I grew up seeing the kind on television and reading about it in books. He made me feel like reality was better, richer than fiction.

Like my dreams were his mission to see fulfilled.

Pulling away, I pressed my forehead to his, staring at the leather in my lap.

“I’m so honored, Archer. I love it…and I.” Hesitation caught my words as fear lassoed around them, pulling me back to reality. What if he didn’t mean it this way? What if he was just possessive, and he didn’t really mean⁠—

His whisper danced along my mouth. “I’m falling in love with you, Wren.”

My eyes flew up, replaceing his, my breathing shallow.

“You are?”

His hand was on my neck, his forehead still pinned to mine. “I…fuck, no, I’m sorry. I lied.”

Fear ricocheted like a bullet hitting a piece of metal. My mouth parted, but he merely laughed and kissed my jaw and then my ear.

“I’m past that. I fuckin’ fell, hard. I’m in love with you, and I’m scared shitless.”

Tears pressed against my eyes, and I let them fall while I smiled.

“Really? Because me too…it’s terrifying.”

He had tears gathering in his eyes, too, while he laughed if relief. “I have so much shit going on with the custody stuff, it’s the absolute worst time to bring you into my life, but I can’t imagine it without you at the same time.”

“Then don’t. I’m here. I want to be inside it.”

“Yeah?”

I kissed him again and let him taste my tears of happiness. “Yeah.”

Archer helped me into my new leather cut, my property patch, as they called it, and it felt like I’d just knit a piece of my future into place. It felt right. It felt different than belonging anywhere else ever had. This felt like I was part of something bigger and better; strangely, it felt like home.

We rode back down the glen, returning to the kids and his club. The smile on my face couldn’t be rivaled as we flew down the road. The second we parked and people saw what I was wearing, there were shouts and excited yells. Women came up to me, pulling me into hugs, while men made all sorts of shouts of approval. A few lifted Archer and congratulated him.

I laughed while I went over to where Thistle was with the boys. There were people everywhere, but at one point, the group had separated Archer and me halfway to where I was headed. It wasn’t a big deal as I passed people who wished me well and were happy for me, but then suddenly, there was a man in my way, and I realized we were slightly off to the side.

“Property of the president? What an interesting plot twist. I bet your father would have loved this.” The man smiled, showing all-white teeth. He was tall, broad, and stacked with muscles. His hair was nearly as white as Kane’s, and sharp blue eyes reminded me of Archer. Something like oil began to slither in through my chest.

Where was Archer?

I took a step back, and he stepped closer. “Wonder what the new leaders of El Peligro will think of your latest relationship. If Archer knew about your connection to his biggest enemy, do you really think he’d place that piece of leather on your back?” He took a step forward, but I refused to back away or cower to him in any way. Mostly because I was shell-shocked that he’d just talked about my past and Archer…and somehow made a connection to both.

Something told me not to look away from this man, even for a second.

But his eyes drifted to the side, and he sighed like his time was up. “Enjoy it while it lasts. El Peligro isn’t your brother’s anymore, but he’ll be sent to deal with you just the same. He’ll have to before the new leaders replace out. Your blood ties to that gang are a complication for Mayhem Riot. You’re a problem now whether you realize it or not.”

What was he talking about?

The man suddenly shifted on his boot and turned around, disappearing into the crowd. Archer was next to me a minute later.

“Who was that talking to you?” His voice was panicked.

I shook my head, my mind too muddled to even have an answer for him. I needed to get to Cruz. Archer helped me push through the crowd until we were finally in front of both boys, seeing they were safe and sound. I tugged Archer close and whispered in his ear.

“He looked like…you, and he looked like Kane.”