My Darling Mayhem
: Chapter 19

The stars stretched above me as the chilly air kissed my cheeks. I tucked my sweater tighter over my chest as I walked down my driveway. I thought back to when I’d first arrived in Atlas, and all the years leading up to this moment when my past came to collect.

I conjured up the image of the bird I’d renamed myself after and dug deep for courage. I could do this.

Just because my past had returned, didn’t mean I had no future.

If Archer didn’t want me, then…I’d survive.

Before I even noticed, I was on Archer’s doorstep. Remembering what he’d said, I wrapped my hand around the knob and entered.

The house was dark, save for the track lighting built under the kitchen cabinets that lit up the counters. His living room was shadowed and empty, so I made my way to the stairs, where Archer appeared, holding a towel to his hair. He was shirtless, with a pair of sweats resting low on his narrow hips. I soaked up the way his stacked muscles moved and shifted. The tattoos all along his torso looked like wisps of shadow in the dim lighting.

His smile was what had me practically running up the steps.

Once I was at the top, I threw myself at him. He was ready for me, pulling me into his chest while his mouth found mine. We moved back a few steps while our mouths moved in heated desperation. We were a song ready to be released after weeks of writing and harmonizing.

“Where were you?” I finally pulled away, trailing my nails down his chest while his fingers dug into my hair.

“Tracking.” Archer’s mouth moved down my jaw and neck while his hands cradled my face. I noticed we were moving toward a bedroom.

“Did you sleep somewhere last night?” My voice was practically a whisper as I asked it, slamming my eyes closed as his hands skimmed up my rib cage and under my shirt.

He smirked against my lips. “Where do you think I slept?”

Archer pulled me down the hall, pulling my shirt up as we went.

After a few steps, we were in a large, spacious room with oversized windows and a massive king-size bed. No lamp was on, but he had the shades wide open, so the streetlight bounced inside, providing enough light to see by. He continued to pull me until we were both crawling onto his soft bed.

“I don’t know, my mind played a lot of things out. I didn’t think you came home because I didn’t hear your bike.”

His hands were on my chin, digging into my hair as he brought me back for another kiss. I let his tongue sweep inside my mouth, and I allowed him to deepen the kiss until our entire bodies were moving with it; my fingers tangled in his hair, his in mine.

“You didn’t text me.” I breathed harshly against his lips.

Lowering the straps of my bra, his mouth returned, marking me with open mouth kisses and dragging his teeth along my cleavage. “By the time I stopped riding, I was walking into your house. Because where you are feels like home. I saw you sleeping on the couch and decided to just sleep on the floor below you.”

Firm hands held my breasts together while he lowered his mouth, sucking and licking along the expanse of my nipples. My bra was gone, somewhere on the floor, after his hand slipped around my back. My breathing was shallow as I tried to collect my thoughts.

“There’s something—” I started, but he pulled me onto his lap, and his erection underneath me felt so good that I nearly moaned, “I need to tell you⁠—”

He was sucking and leaving marks all along my chest, and I was rocking against his cock through his sweats. I had to tell him.

He had to know.

“Archer. I’m⁠—”

His tongue delicately slid along the shell of my ear where he whispered, “Mine.”

“Yes.”

He pushed me back until I was staring up at him. My hands went to the band of his sweats, where I pushed them down. He helped, so his cock sprung free. The velvet smooth head pushed into my palm as the tip leaked. Archer’s hungry glare cut through me as he retreated, pulling my sweats and underwear entirely down my legs. Then he drew his cock into his palm and stroked up and down the massive length before using his other hand to spread my pussy lips apart.

I watched with rapt attention as he harshly spit right along my slit, then used his fingers to rub it into my clit. It was so hot it had my legs clenching together, which he stopped by spreading my thighs apart.

After he spread his blunt fingers down my slick center, his hand landed near my ear. His chest hovered above mine, and ever so slowly, he began inserting the tip of his cock inside me.

“Can I wet it for you first?” I asked, remembering how hot sucking his cock had made me. I ached for that fullness back in my mouth even days later.

“No, you’re going to lick it clean once I come inside your pretty cunt, Wren.”

Oh god. Archer’s hips nestled between mine while my legs came up, caging him. He locked his hand against my hip, adjusting more of his length inside me. My chest rose in anticipation as he placed his other hand under my back and began pulling me up while his knees came underneath him. His biceps flexed as he held my weight as though I weighed nothing at all until I was sliding down along his shaft and straddling his hips. My chest smashed against his, my gaze focused on his hunger as I stared down at him and shifted the smallest bit. His length was long and thick, so the adjusting took a second or two of acute pain.

Once he’d fully sheathed himself, he began kissing me again. My hips slid forward over his cock, and my eyes rolled into the back of my head.

“Fuck.”

His hands came to my hips as he pinned me in place. “No, baby, but we’re about to.”

My eyes flashed open as he pushed into me with a groan, deeper than he’d been. My mouth parted as he adjusted his grip and lifted me so his slick, veiny cock was revealed, and then he slammed me back down onto his shaft.

“Oh my god,” I cried out, clinging to his shoulders.

He leaned forward and sucked on my neck, harsh and brutal. “Do I need to remind you that you’re mine, Wren? I’m yours. It’s not God you’ll scream to. It’s me. Call my name.” A vicious kiss rendered me speechless, and he repeated the process of slowly pulling me up and off his thickness, only to slam me back down.

I cried out each and every time, feeling impossibly full while also unprepared for the way he hit that perfect place inside me each and every time. I tried to fuck him on my own by rolling my hips, but he’d only click his tongue, chiding me.

“My little slut, so eager for my cock. Didn’t I just tell you to call my name?” His mouth was back on me, sucking my nipple into his mouth. He shifted us so I was on my back, and he pulled out of me completely.

“Archer!”

“That’s it, beautiful. Now, open your mouth.”

Gripping his cock, he moved on his knees.

“You’re going to taste what you do to me.”

He held my chin and slid his slick cock into my mouth while kneeling next to me. I took him in, opening and not caring when he hit the back of my throat. He groaned deeply while he pulled my hair with one hand and held my chin with the other.

“So fucking deep for me. You take me so well.” He pushed farther into my throat until my eyes watered, and I was gagging around his length. Pulling out, he’d gently push back in and repeat the process, making spit leak out of the sides of my mouth and down my chin.

“That’s it. Take all of me, Wren. You look so beautiful when your lips are wrapped around my cock.” His length slid out, and he held the base while he traced the tip over my lips.

“Get on your hands and knees, push your face into the mattress, ass up.”

I did as he instructed, moving slowly and keeping my gaze on his cock. Before I moved, I took one last suck of his length, moaning around him before he pulled my hair back.

“Do what I said, Wren. I don’t want to put any marks on that perfect skin, but I will. We don’t have the proper time.”

I moved, pushing my face into the soft duvet but to the side so I could breathe while leaving my ass up in the air.

He didn’t play with me or spit or do anything but hold my hip with one hand and shove inside me so hard that I cried out. His hand came down in a punishing slap to my ass as he pulled out, then slammed back inside. Suddenly something wet landed against my tight hole while he continued to fuck me ruthlessly. Then, before I could process that he’d spit again, his thumb was pressing into my ass.

“You need both filled, don’t you? Such a…” He slapped my ass hard on one cheek, then the other. “Filthy, little…” He spit on my asshole again, rubbing harder with his thumb. “Slut.”

I screamed as my orgasm ripped through me in a way that had never hit before. Darkness danced behind my eyes, my breathing was shallow, and I didn’t notice how hard Archer was slamming into me until he froze, cursing above me.

“Shit, look at that. You’re so fucking beautiful.”

I could hear his harsh breathing and even more mutterings of appreciation and happiness, but I felt like I was drifting in and out of a fog. Somewhere, I knew I belonged forever, yet I had never once visited.

Archer left to grab a warm rag, but I was still so out of it that I hadn’t even realized his arms were around me, and he was holding me in his bed until a few minutes later. His lips gently pressed into my shoulder as he whispered something I couldn’t hear.

“I need to tell you something.”

Archer stroked my hair, his lips close to my ear.

“Is it about your brother?”

I froze, even as he pulled me closer. His mouth was still close to my ear as he tried again.

“I already know.”

I pulled away from him and sat up. “What do you mean you already know?”

Archer’s eyes frantically searched my face as he slowly sat beside me.

“This was before our talk about how I couldn’t handle things like an MC president…, but something happened recently on one of our routes. The member who came back mentioned El Peligro and what the new leaders were doing… in addition to our conversation in the truck, it made me suspicious. That day I worked on the fence, it was really sunny out…I had to go replace sunscreen for the boys. Cruz mentioned you had a beach bag in your closet.”

“You didn’t.”

He had the decency to look disappointed, even ashamed, but the same feeling slithered through my chest as I pictured him sifting through a box that was so deeply personal to me.

I moved off the bed and started searching for my clothes.

Archer jumped up and moved to stop me. “Wait, I’m sorry, Wren. I know I messed up and should have told you, but I never assumed it would even come up again. I assumed it would just be something I could use to protect you if the time ever came.”

The floor was too dark for me to see where my underwear had landed. My shirt was out on the stairs or near it.

“Wren.” Archer’s tattooed fingers were on my jaw.

I tried to pull away, but he held me.

“Even if I wanted to overlook you invading my privacy, Archer, my issue right now is the fact that you never told me. Did Thistle mention what Saul said to me?” Tears edged into my vision as Archer held me, his own eyes silently begging me to stay with him.

I didn’t wait for him to answer me because it didn’t matter. I’d been waiting all day for this conversation with Archer, and now…it felt like I’d been sucker-punched.

“Saul knew who I was too.”

Headlights flashing from the street below lit up the wall, revealing the dread on Archer’s face.

“I’m sorry he talked to you. I’m sorry I took you somewhere that he could get to you. I’ve been beating myself up all day because I can’t accept that I was right there, and still, you could have been hurt.” His voice cracked.

More headlights beamed through the window.

“I’ve been worrying all this time that…” I paused as the memory of when he braided my hair came back. “You let me tell you about my brother and never said⁠—’

We shifted, and Archer had me back on the bed, cautious and careful as he settled beside me.

“You never said, Wren. I was the one who had initially asked you about all this, and you lied to me. You lied about your name and your connection. Even when we talked about your brother, you chose not to tell me. So, as much as you’re hurt about me replaceing out, I’m equally hurt that you didn’t tell me on your own.”

I shook my head, my eyes replaceing my lap. “See, this is why I don’t let people in. You’re right, and I can’t even argue because I never planned to tell you until Saul mentioned the connection and that you wouldn’t want me⁠—’

He tipped my chin so my eyes were on him. “I love you, Wren. I want you. With this, without it, with another lie, or anything else that comes our way. I want you. But for the record, I am sorry. I want you to know you can trust me and that you’re safe with me.”

“I know I’m safe.” That was true. I had never felt safer with anyone than I did with Archer.

“You keep expecting people to give up on you, that if you push them hard enough, they’ll stay away for good, and you can just rebuild something new out of all that rubble. I’m not leaving, Wren. You can’t push me away. You can’t scare me or do anything that would make this too much.”

As he talked, I was crying and swiping at my face with the bottom of my shirt. Because it was all I’d ever wanted. Someone to just accept me, defective, mean, bitchy, all of it. Just me. Juan never had. My parents had given up on me until I finally tracked them down and showed them I had changed.

But no one had ever just wanted me exactly how I was.

“How are we supposed to get past the fact that my brother is your enemy?”

Archer’s eyes narrowed like he had no idea what I was talking about.

“Why would we need to get past it?”

“Because I’m⁠—”

He slid closer to me until his arms were around me. “Mine. I don’t care about your past, Wren. I care that I’m the only one in your future.”

A lump formed in my throat.

His hand came up, pulling my hand over his heart and placing his hand over mine. “I belong in there, you in here. Anywhere else we go, whatever we do…it won’t matter because of that.”

Tears fell from my lashes as hope filled me. I let him pull me into his arms until we lay down and slid under the covers.

Archer had gotten me water, a washcloth, and then Pop-Tarts.

We sat in his room with the side lamp on and his shades shut while the television played something in the background.

“Did you get anywhere with Kane’s custody hearing?” I asked, taking a bite.

The silver wrapper crinkled as Archer swallowed his bite and cleared his throat.

“I spoke with the judge. We’re transitioning into a conditional living situation where I have to check in a ton with them, and allow them to come check on Kane, but it’s the next step for us and a good one.”

“That’s amazing!” I beamed up at him, swiping a crumb from my cheek.

“Thank you. I’m happy about it. Especially after last night, I needed to know he’d be coming home with me.”

“When?”

“Next week, but his foster parents are being really cool. Said I could get him as much as I wanted leading up until then. Even the case manager signed off without needing to be the go-between, saying we can transfer when ready.”

Archer balled up the remaining wrapper and reached to grab mine before walking to a trash can and tossing it all in.

“It will be nice to return to how things were,” I mused softly, leaning back into his pillows. Although I wasn’t even sure that would be possible with the strange visit from my mom looming over my head.

Archer came back to bed and gently gripped my thighs, pulling me toward him. “Wren, I need you to understand that because of my role in Mayhem Riot, there might be moments like this that don’t feel normal. I don’t want that to scare you.”

“But what about Kane…and Cruz? This isn’t safe for them to be exposed to this sort of danger.”

I knew I had said the wrong thing because his face shuddered. Like I’d just slapped him. It took me back to when we just met, and I had continued to hurt him by saying the wrong thing.

“I just mean⁠—”

“I know what you mean, and I—” He trailed off, sounding sad and worried. “I haven’t worked that out yet. I guess maybe I drop Mayhem Riot or leave them. I just haven’t figured it out yet. I just know I can’t give up Kane. I won’t give up you or Cruz either.”

I stroked his jaw, leaned closer, and pulled his mouth to mine. Archer kissed me back and hauled me down next to him, cradling me in his arms.

“Tell me what happened between you and your brother.”

I stared at our joined hands, tracing over Archer’s tattoos, trying to go back in time while I kept my emotions at bay. I had done enough crying for one night.

“When Juan was twenty-one, I was sixteen, and I was being especially careless with my life. Which included not going to school, getting caught at street races, and other idiotic things that kept my parents worried at night. Juan would check in and tell me how senseless I was being. At the time, his opinion really mattered to me, so hearing him say he was ashamed of me, was devasting. So, I started to change…I went into a credit recovery program at my school, I stopped smoking and drinking…and I pulled away from El Peligro entirely. I was home every night, missing parties and skipping out on anything my friends did. I was lonely, but I thought my big brother…my hero, would notice and be proud of me. Whenever I tried to tell Juan I was doing better, he was busy or didn’t care. I felt like I’d lost his respect, and there was no way to get it back.”

My throat suddenly felt too tight to continue. My eyes burned as I tugged at the duvet underneath me. It was soft, gray, and masculine.

“Then months went by, and I was so hurt that I started to feel depressed. I’ll never forget the night I overheard my mother crying on the phone to my tía. Juan had taken over the very gang my father started. The one he judged me for being attached to at sixteen. The hypocrisy was more than I could bear.”

Archer took my hand and gently held it. “What did you do next?”

I used him as an anchor as I drifted back to the bad memories of a life of fear. “I left. At first, I was just being dramatic. I thought my mom would call or one of my cousins would push Juan to replace me. I had been away from El Peligro so long that no one even welcomed me back to their old haunts. But I was too prideful to go back home.”

Archer processed it all, then brought my hand to his lips and pressed a kiss to it.

“Your mom…did she come after you or your stepdad?”

Another tiny slice of hurt radiated through my chest as I recalled how easy it was for them to let me go. “They assumed I had just fallen back in with El Peligro and was back on the streets. I hadn’t exactly been the model child before that, so I think once I left for good, everyone was just sort of relieved.”

Archer squeezed me into him. “I’m sorry, beautiful. That sounds like an extremely lonely journey.”

It was. He had no idea. I slept under bridges, in shelters, and worked shitty jobs, saving every penny I got. I made friends and rented rooms from them occasionally, only to always have it blow up in my face. It was always some argument, drugs, or a creepy boyfriend who snuck into my room at night. I was even desperate enough one extremely depressed night to consider prostitution, but I’d walked into a diner instead and asked if they were hiring.

I finally found a rhythm, living in the city, working multiple jobs, and living in the basement of my elderly boss. It wasn’t until I heard one of my regulars talk about some tourist town that resembled a movie set just outside of New York City that I realized I could start over somewhere new. I was dating Cruz’s dad at the time, but I was too nervous to tell him my big dream of having a small house in a cute suburban neighborhood. While I had been working up the courage, just two weeks after that he was arrested.

“It was,” was all I managed to say. I hated going back through my memories. Most of mine were terrible.

Archer tugged his hands through my hair while propping his head up with his fist.

“So your mom is visiting?”

I gave a slight nod, toying with a thread. “She just showed up…it’s strange.” I glanced up, catching his gaze as he reached for his phone. “My brother called me today, too.”

Archer seemed to freeze behind me. “Is that normal?”

Shaking my head, I started to explain, but my phone dinged with a text.

Leaning over, I pulled it off the side table. “It’s my mom. She says I need to come back so we can talk.”

“I’m coming with you.” Archer slid out of bed and started pulling on clothes. I followed suit, tugging my bra on, then my shirt. “It’s late…shit, nearly eleven. I’m not sure it’s⁠—”

His side drawer opened, and he pulled out a handgun. Pointing it down, he checked the clip and slid it into the back of his jeans. I knew he was in a club that didn’t obey the laws of the land, a one percenter club. His patch meant that, but seeing him with a gun was different.

“Archer…”

“Wren, if your brother called you and your mom just showed up, something is wrong. My men are mostly here, in Atlas. The ones who aren’t are watching Saul’s movements. He’s back in Gentry territory, so we can’t attack him. All that means is we’re not watching our regular routes. I have no idea if we angered the leaders or not.”

“Why does everyone keep referencing that? What new leaders?”

Archer stopped gathering supplies while he slid into his leather cut and faced me. “Your brother doesn’t lead El Peligro anymore. Two brothers do, as far as I know, and they’re ruthless as fuck. If they’re after me for some reason, they have targeted you. I’m coming with you to your house.”

He held his hand out for me, and I took it.