North x Northwest
Chapter 119

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Ed knew Lil Schweiz was the same person as ‘Lil’, an employee of Madame Rouge, and that her transformation was due to an artefact, but he still pretended he didn’t know anything. Knowing that fact alone would raise enough eyebrows, but that’s not all. All traces of ‘Lil’ stopped at Madame Rouge’s brothel. However, after confirming Lil Schweiz’s identity through the letter he received from Lil, he resumed his pursuit on the Bell Rock. Cesar pretended not to know Ed when he boarded the pirate ship, but if questioned, Cesar could admit that he was intimidated. Intimidated by someone who knew Cesar and has the ability to silence him.

This ‘baseless suspicion’ would then take physical form. A person who is knowledgeable about ancient times and can intimidate Cesar with overwhelming force. Ed’s true identity would be easy to discover once his ignorance shield was removed. Their meeting in Amiaeng, without knowing what Lil had been up to, was his first and most serious flaw. His biggest mistake was to not start searching between the sailors in the first place. Maybe there was a better way to deceive Lil, but he has no regrets at this point.

‘I’ll tell her someday. But not right now and not during circumstances like this. Liloa is still a woman with her guard up. Also, I don’t want to miss out on the significance of her state that only I can see right now.’

“You’re asking me about magic artefacts all of a sudden?”

“If mermaids have the ability to make people breathe underwater, don’t you think there could be a lot of artefacts that uses magic as well?”

“…”

“Come on, tell me.”

Ed looked up at her without saying a word. Her eyes under the shining sun were clear and bluish.

‘You should be the one telling me.’

He asked with words that he could not convey.

‘But this appearance of yours, what the hell does it mean?’

Ed wanted to talk about something other than mermaids or artefacts. For example, her mind.

‘If it was because of the clash of divine powers, the necklace’s effect should have ceased the moment she met the mermaid. But without a warning, it was that specific moment… In addition, starting the day her appearance changed, Liloa’s attitude towards me changed as well. But I’m sure she’s not aware of it. She even came to see me first. I’m not sure what kind of wind blew in and changed things, but something in Liloa’s mind has definitely changed… or perhaps she realised something she didn’t know before.’

Right from the start, Ed didn’t desire a future with Lil, so he thought it didn’t matter if his identity was revealed after some time. He thought it would be fine even if Lil felt betrayed upon knowing who he was. But now he began to realise he wanted to be someone significant to Lil, someone she was happy to see. So slowly, the future wove itself anew. What he didn’t know yet, however, was in what kind of relationship he wanted to exist in her future.

He was certain of only one thing. That’s if his identity was discovered at such a perilous time, their future will fall apart immediately.

He had no idea why Lil had resumed this unexpected voyage, whether it had anything to do with his fleet, where the Bell Rock was going, or what her future plans were. In this chaotic situation, he couldn’t afford to make a confession that would completely change the game.

Ed avoided Lil’s eyes. He had to lie, he needed to give an answer he didn’t want to. They were just words, but they didn’t come out as smoothly as before. In the midst of his confusion, Ed opened his mouth.

“The only things I know are about murals, clay tablets, and some other junk.”

His forehead, which was receiving Lil’s calm gaze, felt pierced, and his stomach hurt more than he could imagine. No, it was excruciatingly painful. The blades of the countless lies he’d told had carved into his heart, engraving Lil’s words that he’d never be forgiven. Never to be erased. It appeared to be imprinted in a deep place that couldn’t be washed away with time.

“Really?”

“…”

It was an incredibly refreshing voice.

“Too bad.”

“…”

Lil pursed her lips like she was really sorry. She didn’t press any further, which wasn’t like her usual suspicious self. Ed, who somehow expected a suspicious reaction, couldn’t look her in the eye. He thought a gaze of distrust would have been better, for that naive belief of hers was even more painful.

“Well, I’m off then.”

“…”

Seeing Lil’s hat disappear toward the poop deck, an irrefutable fact pierced his heart.

‘She trusts me. The fact that she inquired about the artefact itself is sufficient proof. She truly believes me…’

The sentence he thought would bring him joy someday only made him feel terrible now. Ed gradually became aware of what he had done and where it was leading. The inevitable conclusion was so obvious that a sense of remorse close to fear crept in.

‘It wasn’t supposed to be like this seeing how we started. I shouldn’t have been so careless…’

Ed clutched his dizzy head. The area around his chest was scorched. He knew how heartbreaking it was to lose a loved one. And it was just as painful now as it was then. The agony of losing Lil was like a rippling sensation in his chest. A vague question arose in his mind.

‘Since when?’

Lil had always been in the form of a man. Her appearance gave no room for Ed’s rational feelings to intervene. Furthermore, Ed occasionally went overboard and treated her as if she were a true fellow sailor. On rare occasions, she appeared as a woman, but only for a brief moment before resuming her form as Lil Schweiz. His emotions couldn’t have become this intense in such a short period of time.

Old memories laughed at Ed.

‘No, maybe…’

Ed pressed the inside of his elbow over his eyes. In front of his eyes immersed in darkness, the shadows caused by thick leaves swaying between pillars were seen.

– Thump. Thump. –

The sound of footsteps walking the LeBrun’s corridor rang in his ears. Birds happily welcomed spring and flew from their nests. Except for the sound of distant chatter, the hallway was quiet. It was then that he heard that voice for the first time, coming through an open window.

{ “No, Baron. He is just a child. I am not going to punish this young kid with a whip. Besides, it seems to me that the reason for the punishment you claim is his dark skin rather than his mistake.” }

Before Ed could even turn his head to see her.

{ “Obedience is one of the virtues, but how can you rule your subordinates when you are this soft-hearted?” }

{ “It is not because of my soft heart. It is because they have no intention of doing wrong. I call this righteousness.” }

‘Perhaps that’s when it began. When I heard her speak about something so unknown.’

{ “You mean uprightness against the laws of the Empire?” }

{ “What law does this punishment apply to? Please tell me.” }

‘In fact, it didn’t matter who she was. It didn’t matter which shell she was wearing.’

{ “…” }

{ “There is no law applicable in this situation. There is only one law that cannot be expressed in human language. Until he met you, this child was neither dirty nor inferior. Do you still not understand? You, Baron, are the one framing an innocent child because of his appearance. Why do you not be honest and tell him directly that you beat him because of his dark skin?” }

‘How could I not have known?’

{ “…” }

{ “But you cannot do that now, can you? Because you know it too. That there are natural laws that you cannot go against.” }

‘It’s just that I loved that voice that exuded noble convictions.’

***

From his spot, Cesar could see Ed perched beneath the mast. Ed sat there watching Lil with a look full of affection. He never took his gaze away from her. His eyes remained fixed on Lil as she approached the poop deck. He chased her back, looking regretful as if he didn’t want to miss a single moment.

Cesar’s annoyance was palpable. What he saw was as clear as day. Ed didn’t want to be caught, so he acted when he was facing Lil, but when she was no longer looking, Ed appeared to be watching a spectacle. He was as enthralled as a young boy discovering love for the first time. Sometimes, he wouldn’t even notice when someone was approaching. Ed has recently been behaving out of character, and Cesar couldn’t think of a more appropriate word to fit Ed’s behaviour.

The navigator observed Ed with disgusted eyes. His green eyes glistened with both desire and melancholy. A desire that he could no longer control.

‘It’s so obvious that he can no longer hide it. It goes without saying… He desires Liloa.’

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