North x Northwest
Chapter 133

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Ignoring both the agitated Alain and the wistful Jericho, Cesar only looked at Lil. She nodded slowly, not knowing what he was thinking.

‘Obviously, it has something to do with Serlio. He must be trying to get me out of this situation in which I have an infiltrator under my watch, right after announcing I’m retiring. But, is that all there’s to it? Due to the unexpected battle, we also lost men from Jarles and Valtano’s crew. Being contractually indebted to those guys and going back to Panichi empty-handed, basically means I have no value for my own life… I have nothing to say even if they demand my neck upon our return…’

“…Yes.”

Alain clicked his tongue and scratched his neck.

“So, what’s the order?”

“There’s none for now.”

“Hah! How frustrating.”

“Cesar is right. If the Mondovi fleet suddenly makes an unexpected move, we won’t get a second chance. Grandpa, we need to return loaded…”

‘…and ensure we reach Panichi in one piece.’

Lil swallowed the end of her sentence with bitter breath. After a moment of silence, Alain, who considered all of it a waste of time, jumped up from his seat.

“Well, all right then. Let’s get rid of him.”

Startled by his sudden declaration, Lil jerked from her seat as well.

“Wait! You can’t just throw away a Navy like it’s trash! Even the corpse…”

Lil cleared her choked throat with a dry cough. Once seemed not enough. She could only speak calmly after she cleared her throat a few times.

“…Even a corpse should be set adrift on an island so that it can be found. If he comes from a prominent family, it can become more difficult for us in the future. The League has maintained a moderate stance so far. Being careless now will render the hard work of Anunchio and the other captains to nothing.”

“Who gives a damn about the nobles?!”

“…”

Alain exclaimed in surprise.

“Oh my! Everyone’s crazy here! Crazy I say! What do you want me to do, accompany him on a yacht?”

“Shut up, old man. Didn’t you say you’d keep an eye on him in the first place? Back in Amiaeng, didn’t I tell you that I found him suspicious and didn’t you say I should trust you? Can you say you did a good job considering how his pigeon has managed to fly back and forth all this time?”

Alain shut his mouth firmly and sat down again. In fact, everyone gathered here was to blame for making a mistake one way or the other. Ed’s boarding was approved by Jericho, and Alain told their doubting captain that he would watch over him. For that reason, Lil summoned only Jericho and Alain as both of them had a heavy responsibility in this situation.

“So…”

“A small wooden board should be enough.”

“…”

Cesar cut off Lil’s words.

“At least he might be able to keep his life. It’s hard to give more than that.”

“…”

Cesar cast a sidelong glance at Lil. It wasn’t a look that asked for approval. It was to see if she’d ask for more for the man she’d spent the night with. While Cesar continued his instructions to Alain with a cold stare, Lil’s face darkened and she failed to say anything.

“The space next to the doctor’s cabin is empty because of the rudder.”

“So you want to throw him out through there then? Hm… Yes, as soon as we open the sliding door on the stern side we would be right above the hull. There’s a bulkhead too, so there’s no one to see when we’re moving him. All right, mate.”

It was only then that Alain relaxed his expression and stood up. Lil glanced anxiously at the hilt of his sword that his stubby hand was grazing, afraid that he might cause an accident.

“Grandpa.”

“I know! I know! I won’t kill him indiscriminately, so don’t worry!”

Alain walked out of the captain’s office, dragging the still snivelling Jericho behind him. After the deliberate stomping of their boots faded away, the wooden door slammed shut. In an instant, silence began to settle layer by layer in the space where only the two of them remained. And as time passed, the layers piled up.

Nobody moved. The silence gave the impression that no one was present and continued for a long time. Cesar and Lil exchanged no words nor glances. Lil had no idea where Cesar was even looking. In this case, she had to say something first, so she wiped her dried lips with her tongue before opening her mouth.

“Ce…sar.”

“…”

Cesar let out a long sigh. Lil felt like she was being buried under his heavy breathing.

“Nothing happened.”

“Let’s talk about this later…”

“I was wrong.”

“…After the work is done.”

“Really nothing happened…”

“…”

The harsh screeching sound of Cesar’s chair filled the room.

“…Forgive me…”

Lil could only mutter as his back receded. However, Cesar didn’t turn around and instead opened the door of the captain’s office before disappearing. Her throat burned. She felt like she was about to be erased from this world. The desk and chairs, which were all perfectly fine, felt alien to her. Lil raised her hands and held them in front of her eyes. When she saw the bloodless palms similar to those of a dead person, she bent her trembling fingers and clenched them into fists.

‘I don’t know what to do. Should I kneel and apologise, or…’

Even though no one was rushing her, she felt impatient. Lil raised her pale hands higher and wiped her anxious face.

‘Why did I do that… Why on earth did I do that? What was I thinking when I got in there, fell asleep, opened the window, and let the bird in… Damn it! That damn messenger pigeon. Why did it come there at that time? Why did it have to come when I was there…’

Lil raised her head in a flash.

“…But, where’s the oil?”

Her smooth flow of self-pity was abruptly disrupted.

‘It´s so strange. The pigeon’s arrival in the morning meant that the incense had been placed several hours before that, but Ed had been with me all night. I’m not sure what he did when I fell asleep, but he definitely had enough time to remove the scent before the pigeon picked up the trail. He couldn’t afford to make such a stupid mistake. And Ed didn’t have just an hour or two, but the entire night. He also could’ve woken me up at any time and kick me out, but he didn’t…’

A certain assumption crossed her mind.

‘Maybe he didn’t know. Maybe the oil was applied to a place that was out of his control. Perhaps the perfume had been stolen… The fact that the pigeon arrived while I was present could’ve been designed to create an undeniable situation. Such a ruse could’ve been made by simply wiping the window sill with the oil.

But even so, the result remains the same. The reality that the pigeon recognized Ed, means that it has communicated through it before. From the very beginning, perhaps even before boarding this ship… I’ve been thoroughly deceived. So I shouldn’t be defending Ed, I should be driven mad with rage. I’m not in a position to be foolishly worried that he might be innocent.

But Ed… No, Cesar confirmed the content. The whole thing could’ve been staged.’

After all, Lil finally accepted Ed through a fairly irrational process. She never meant to let her guard down, however Ed dug into her mind and dispelled her doubts. Her beliefs were seen through, played with, and eventually turned into tools to win her trust.

Lil buried her face in her palms. But, no matter how hard she tried, there was a desire that she couldn’t shake off. It was a desire so grand that she really began to suspect that she was going insane.

It was the desire to forgive Ed.

Truthfully, Lil has been plagued by a pathetic urge all day. She wanted to visit him and ask him questions like; ´This couldn’t have been you, right?´ or ‘Have you prepared your brilliant excuse?’. She decided to trust him, and since she still believed in him, she wanted him to tell her why he did it. She was preoccupied with forgiveness even if she was driven mad. She assumed Ed had to be blameless. And if she kept thinking that way, she imagined that he would indeed become innocent.

A minute passed, and her thoughts came and went. Lil had to control herself before she lost her mind.

‘Ed has been to Panichi… With a war looming, the League can’t take such a grave risk… A weighty decision like this can’t be made relying on personal faith. No matter what beliefs or reasons he holds, the fact that Ed’s a spy remains the same… The only person who understands me is also a person who still communicates with the fleet. These two aren’t incompatible. The former and the latter can coexist. Even if Ed was sincere, it can’t suddenly make my pain go away…Yes. That’s the truth.’

After rearranging her thoughts, Lil left the captain’s office to oversee the execution.

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