North x Northwest
Chapter 192

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“If you don’t like a corolla, how about a fontange*?”

Levi held up a headdress. Even though Lil knew that her reaction could make Levi sullen, she adamantly refused it, terrified by the mound of lace she saw through the mirror. Perhaps due to seeing Lil’s deteriorating complexion, Levi quickly apologised and explained that she was simply excited because she was finally in the presence of another lady again after being surrounded by men for a long time. However, Levi’s explanation sounded more like her feelings were akin to regret than they were to an apology. She also only took a step back after delicately placing some flower buds from the corolla into Lil’s breaded hair.

“Now… the Admiral…”

“Hmm?”

“Eh uhm, I’ll go see Ed… gar.”

“…Will you?!”

“…”

As if she heard some good news, Levi laughed excitedly. She then gently placed her hand on Lil’s shoulder and made eye contact through the mirror. Despite Lil’s struggles, Levi applied a bit of light makeup to her face. Levi thought it rather unfortunate that her patient lacked complexion, so the cosmetics were to compensate for the fact that she couldn’t provide Lil with proper nourishment like meat for the time being.

“Edgar will be amazed to see you like this, right?”

“…”

Levi seemed to firmly believe that Lil’s tears from earlier were moved by Ed’s sincerity.

‘She isn’t completely wrong of course… Right now, I wish I could deny it…’

Lil stood up in front of the dressing table, shaking her head.

“He’s probably in the music room by now, located in the east wing. Do you need someone to escort you there or can you replace it on your own? I’d love to take you there myself, but there’s something I can’t put off any longer…”

“…”

Levi pointed toward the bed. On the bedside table were different kinds of samples, including the blood that had been withdrawn earlier. Lil nodded, reminding herself dozens of times that she’s been fortunate to have been given this opportunity.

“Remember. You aren’t healed yet, you’re still recovering. You must never be too greedy right from the beginning. If you aren’t careful, you can’t go back to the way you were before.”

“Yes.”

Even though she answered instantly, Levi keenly observed Lil’s reaction.

‘Is this common behaviour among doctors? Ed used to make that expression often, too.’

Still, Lil calmly received the attention. After all, she had nothing to say, seeing that after waking up, the first thing she did was swing a sword and collapse.

Levi eventually sent Lil off, but not before lecturing her on not to run around recklessly.

When the oak door closed behind her, the hallway where she collapsed the day before revealed itself. There were portraits on the left and rows of windows on the right. This time, Lil actually looked up at the portrait she refused to look at back then. As she got closer, she slowly casted a dark shadow over the paintings. Contrary to her initial concerns, the portraits depicted completely unfamiliar faces. Among the men and women of all ages, Lil couldn’t replace a single face she knew. Ed’s wasn’t there. Lil continued to walk while looking out the window on the right. The bleu coastal waters of the Mondovi Peninsula and dozens of idle battleships sailing off the coast filled her view.

Eventually, Lil walked through the open door at the end of the corridor. While doing so, she didn’t forget to observe the servants standing on either side. It was difficult for Lil to tell them apart because they were dressed in the same clothes and wore white wigs, looking like they walked straight out of a painting, but she thought it would be better to make herself familiar with them. So as she passed them, Lil deliberately decreased her pace. They appeared frozen, but Lil could feel their eyes following her silently. The same happened when she occasionally encountered other servants. The majority of them hadn’t heard of her existence, while the remainder assumed she was the woman named ‘Visha’. Nonetheless, both the former and latter stared at her with interest.

While attracting attention here and there, Lil made her way through the galleries.

From the colossal ceiling paintings to the beautiful lambris⁴ on the wall, the impeccably splendid galleries could easily be used as ballrooms. Lil looked around attentively to see if there were any armoured knights among the statues placed in the corners

‘I feel so naked, walking around without a single piece of metal on me…’

When Lil found a statue of a knight in armour in the next room, she took two of its daggers with glee. She tucked one of them into the belt on her backside, knowing that the shawl around her torso would cover it. The second one wasn’t a problem either. Lil raised her right leg on a chair next to the statue and pulled up the hem of her skirt. She then tucked the dagger through the garterbelt that held her thigh-high white tights. As the blade was only a span long, it was easily positioned. Lil made sure it was secure before covering the lavish garter with lace and ribbon once more…

***

Ed got out of bed with his hair shaped like a bird’s nest. Even though he had been asleep for a long time, his body felt unpleasantly heavy. The accumulated fatigue was formidable and not easily shaken off.

Ed rubbed his face and drank some wine from the bar. The rich taste helped in awakening his sleepy body. By the time he leaned back, emptying his first glass, Ed was somehow able to widen his narrowed eyes.

He then sighed and slid into his pants. He wore whatever he could replace, but because he couldn’t see his shirt anywhere, he opted for the nearest visible velvet robe. He tucked his arms in and wrapped it around himself.

But no matter how many times he rubbed his face, the drowsiness didn’t completely go away, so Ed poured himself another glass. At some point, his worries about Lil snapped him out of his daze. Startled, Ed checked his watch.

‘It’s already mid-afternoon.’

Ed, who was suddenly wondering if Levi had gone to see Lil, soon shook his head. He was still in a bad mood. If he met Lil like this, he wasn’t sure if their encounter would go any better than before, he even made the assumption it would go worse.

Instead of going to Lil, Ed decided to check his medical log. His hand, which started to rummage over the desk littered with papers and books, eventually came to a stop. A half-open drawer showing a whitish figure caught his eye. Ed was about to close the drawer, but slowly, put his hand inside it.

It was a portrait of a woman.

The portrait of Lil which the duke had pressed into Ed’s hand when he asked him to replace her. Of course, it was only natural to leave a wanted flyer while requesting a search. Thanks to that, Ed had been able to clear Lil’s blurry face from his memory. With this, his association with the Duke of Mireille was undeniable. This portrait was proof of his indelible mistake.

‘Liloa already hates me enough… But if she realises that even that isn’t the whole story…’

Lil’s voice rang in his head.

{ “…But I have no intention to accept you. I’m so sick and tired of being tied down by acts of charity and favours. Please know that my feelings won’t change…” }

‘I used to think that it wouldn’t matter where Liloa would go or what she would do, as long as she woke up. But I guess I underestimated myself too much… When a critically ill patient, unable to even walk properly, finally wakes up after a long time and the first thing they think of is escaping… How terrible must I’ve been for her to have thought of that… That’s right, how awful am I?’

Ed, repeating his petty rage, kicked the table’s leg. He then covered his face with his hands as though he thought it was enough to cover up his shame. However, his deepest and most sincere thoughts had already come out at that very moment.

{ “You can run away as much as you like. I’ll just go and replace you again.” }

He could clearly remember Lil’s laughter and her reluctant face that seemed to be staring at something disgusting. Recalling how her tears flowed from her face, her dry cry rang in Ed’s ears. To Ed, it did something strange to him.

‘While there’s irresistible anger and a clear sense of betrayal, why is my hatred erased altogether…’

{ “How could you…” }

‘I wonder if her trembling meant she may never forgive me…’

Footnote:

4. Lambris: pieces of wood attached to a wall or ceiling to keep out the cold.

Fontange: A fontange, or frelange, is a high headdress popular during the turn of the late 17th and early 18th centuries in Europe. Technically, fontanges are only part of the assembly, referring to the ribbon bows which support the frelange. [WIKI]

The French fontange, or commode as it was called in England, was a small round or oval cap pinned to the back of the head. Attached to the top of the cap was a tall wire frame over which were arranged tiers of lace, ribbons, cutwork, and linen ruffles. [FASHION HISTORY]