Spring Winds
Chapter 95: Lost Memories (1)

Sitting crossed-legged on the cold stone floor, I shuddered in pain as the number of pricks on my back started to increase. "Hah… Master, when you said that you'd… cough, cough… improve my techniques…

This isn't what I thought!

Ow!" A sharp pain pricked into my back, causing me to lean away in recoil. Can't Master do this more gently?! (ʘ言ʘ╬)

Why must this hurt so much?! ʰᵘʰ (ꐦ○_○）✧

"Hold still!" Master sighed as he clamped his hand down on my shoulder, preventing me from lurching forward. "If you keep moving, you'll disrupt this master, and we'll have to start over again.

Do you want to go through this again?"

Aiyah! "No…" I don't want to sit through this torturous experience from the start! (;_;)

But it hurts! And it's so freaking hot in this cave! (´;д;`)

I'm starting to regret saying that I wouldn't hate Master for any pain that would follow, ah! "Ouch!"

"Concentrate! This next part is critical!"

Tch, stinky old man! This is the last time I'm going to believe you on anything! (#｀ε´)

However, since I didn't want to go through this prepping process again, I straightened my back and folded my legs into lotus position following Master's orders.

Taking in a deep breath, I exhaled slowly as I felt like I was slowly getting pulled away like a boat on the shore, only being tethered by a mere rope.

"Take in some more deep breaths.

Whatever you see or hear, you must remember that none of it is real. They are merely figments of your mind and memories."

"So… they're just false memories? They didn't happen?" 「(°ヘ°)

"No, they are just as real as any memory.

However, they are just one's that you have... chose to forget.

The thing holding you from progression is yourself. The only way to break through is to confront this block of yours and whatever else is tied to it."

"Block?" But, I never held myself back on anything. How could there be a block?

"Herm, it's hard to make out; however, it's heavily embedded within you.

The only way to lift this seal is if you undo it yourself."

"Eh? Myself?" Σ(゜゜)

"Ehmm, get ready."

"W-wait, what-" ∑(ﾟ∇ﾟ|||)

However, before I could question Master further, a single rope tied me to the conscious world came undone. And before I knew it, I was already drifting off to the vast and dark sea.

Ahh, couldn't you have at least given me a warning first? (´･_･`)

---

"...ran…" A gentle hand shook my shoulder, lulling me from my slumber. "Haha… Naran, it's time to get up…"

Em? Who's calling?

Rolling over, I regretted my move as the blinding morning light shone into my eyes through the tent door. "...Father?"

A jolly laugh followed by a warm pat to the head was all the answer I needed. "Why are we getting up so early…?

Naran wants to sleep…."

Already feeling the tempting call of my warm blankets, I turned back over and closed my eyes. I heard my father sigh, followed by another nudge.

"Naran, you can't just stay here and sleep all day.

Don't you remember what today is?"

"Eh?"

Was there something special going on today? I can't remember.

Ah, if I can't remember, it wasn't important.

"Haha, have you forgotten that today is your birthday?"

Eh?!

"Wah?! Really?!" Is today my birthday?

How could I have forgotten? Kicking my blankets off, I quickly slipped into my clothes. "So what are we doing this time?

Are we going to go fishing?

Maybe we could go hunting for birds?

What about hunting some game for meat! Oh yeah, I remembered; I wanted to eat a lot of meat this year!

We can even share with all of my uncles and aunties!" My mouth was already salivating with the thought of the roasted meat and how heavenly it would smell as it slowly cooked over the fire.

"Hehe, Father, this year, I just want meat!" Meat is always a good gift.

"Haha, I'm glad that you're excited for the day, Naran." Father laughed as he scooped me up into his arms. Hugging me, his wild beard scratched my face as he laughed. "However, I thought that we could do something else this year."

"Eh?

Are we not eating meat this year?" Hmm, what would be a good meat substitute? Roasted fish is pretty tasty too. Ohh, and wild pheasants are delicious also!

"Hah, is all you think of in that little head of yours, food?"

"Emmm, no." I shook my head. "Naran, think about how much she loves Father every day too, hehe."

"Tch," Father pinched my cheek as he clicked his tongue. "What a smooth talker you are. I wonder where you got such a thing?"

"Hmm, isn't it from you, Father?" After all, Father has a pretty good way with words! One time I saw Father woo an auntie who made some sweet cake so that she would give Father a few extra cakes!

Such a smart move! I'll have to try that out some time to see if it really works! Based on how Father did it, it seems like one just needs to smile, and then people will instantly be friendly and give you free stuff.

Those cakes were pretty good too. I wonder if that's what we're eating instead of meat today.

"Heh, I suppose I can't argue with that logic," Father laughed as he ruffled my hair. "You'll get your meat; however, we won't be hunting for it ourselves today.

We'll be doing something else."

"Hmm?" Something else? Whatever Father introduces is always super fun! I wonder what it could be?

---

"Wahhh!"

"That's it, Naran.

Keep a steady hold of the spool, and don't let go of the string." Father directed as he helped me from behind.

Following Father's instructions, I watched in awe at the massive kite that fluttered in the air high above.

"Haha, this is so cool!" Where did Father even get this idea to this?

"You like it?" Father asked as he lifted me onto his shoulders. Squealing in joy, I marveled at the kite flying higher in the air.

"Yes!"

"This is called 'kite-flying.' Back when I traveled around the central valley, hundreds of people would come out during the windy spring days and show off their kites.

There would be hundreds of them, all of them being of varying sizes and colors."

"This is amazing!" I can't wait to visit the central valley with Father! If they have fun activities like this, I wonder what else that they could have there!

Our fun was cut short after a while, as the sun started to descend and the winds died down. However, it was fine as I enjoyed the time that I spent with Father while it lasted.

"What are we going to do now?" Sitting on Father's shoulders, I looked around at the golden glow of the spring afternoon. The soft yellow buds of spring flowers started to pop up among the tall green grass around us.

"Are we going to do another fun activity that you've learned?" I asked before a yawn flew out my mouth.

Rubbing my eyes, I waited for Father to answer.

"Hmm," Father hummed. "It seems like we should head back so that you can take a nap first."

"Wah? Nooo, I'm not, yawn… tired."

"I don't know. It seems like the birthday girl needs to get her beauty sleep before we can continue."

"Hmmm." I don't want to nap! I want to keep playing with Father… I just need to close my eyes a bit, that's all.

To… to block out the pollen… yeah…

I felt my small body shift from Father's shoulders and into his arms as he cradled me. "It's alright. We can always play later, Naran."

"Emmmm…fine…."As I started to drift off to sleep, I felt Father slowly pat my back.

Ahh, feels nice…

---

"Cough! Cough!"

"Careful, Yul.

Your health isn't what it used to be."

Peeking my eyes open, I tried to figure out what was disturbing my rest. Rolling myself over, I could faintly make out the figures of Father and Uncle Ganzorig still around the hearth outside of the tent. Father had left the door, letting in the scent of the warm spring night and cracking wood inside.

"Heh, I'm touched that you're about me; however, I can take care of myself," Father remarked as he seemingly took a drink of wine.

"Tch." Uncle Ganzorig punched Father's arm. "I know that you can take care of yourself, Yul. But think of your daughter.

What is she going to do without you, huh?"

I felt Father look back my way. Ducking back into the covers, I prayed that Father didn't see that I was awake.

Luckily, it appeared that he missed my sudden movements as I felt the touch of his eyes leave.

Whew, that was a close one.

Turning myself back over, I stopped looking at Father and Uncle Ganzorig.

Lucky for me, they can't spot my ears listening, hehe.

"My daughter has always been one who was eager to see the world, never being tied down to anything. She'll be fine in my absence."

"Are you stupid, or are you just an idiot?

Your daughter follows you around like a little tail. Even if she's playing around somewhere, her little eyes always scan the area to see if you're there.

How could you be so cruel?"

"..."

Is Father leaving?

W-where? And he's leaving without me?

Why? Did I do something wrong?

Was it because I was naughty and played pranks on the other kids?

But that smelly Chaghatai deserved it! He was always nagging me about stupid stuff and kept dropping bugs on me!

Plus, wasn't it you, Father, who told me that if they strike first, it's anyone's game?

I couldn't think of any other reasons as to why Father wanted to leave. Is it because Father doesn't want me anymore?

My eyes pricked in pain. It must be the smoke coming, drying out my eyes so that they started to tear up.

Sniffing, I buried myself under the layers of blankets until it was hard to breathe. I don't understand…

Why does Father want to leave me so badly? Did I do something wrong?

If so, I'm sorry.

J-just, just don't leave Naran here alone… please…

---

"Naran, why have you stopped walking?" Father stopped walking forward and crouched in front of me. "Are you tired?"

Standing in place, I waited for Father to walk away without me. Just like Uncle Ganzorig said that he would. "Sniff," wiping my eyes with the back of my sleeve. "I thought you would leave."

"What?"

"S-sniff…" I didn't answer Father's question as the tears just kept pouring out. This was probably the last time that Father was going to talk to me. "W-well?

Aren't you leaving?"

"What are you talking about?" I could hear a hint of laughter in Father's voice as he questioned me.

Is he laughing because now he doesn't care about me anymore?

How could he not understand what I'm talking about? It was apparent last night that Father was ready to just up and leave!

"Fine!

If you're going to leave, then just leave!

I-I don't need you!

I can take care of m-myself!" Wiping away my tears, I ran off, ignoring Father's calls.

"Naran, wait!"

Since Father doesn't want me anymore, I'll leave first. T-that way, it will make things easier for both of us.

Y-yeah…

This is fine… Father will finally be relieved of his burden now…

---

"Naran!

Naran, where are you?" Father called out for me as he wandered through the shrubbery. Peeking from my hiding spot, I saw that he was going in the opposite direction!

Hmph, Father must be making a show of his search. Maybe he's checking to see if I have gone away.

"I'm sure Father would be happier if I did…"

"Gotcha!" A pair of hands suddenly landed on my shoulders from behind.

"Ahh!" I'm going to be eaten! Peeking my eyes open, I tried to look at my 'attacker.'

"F-father? What are you doing here?" I thought Father already left.

"I should be the one asking you that, young lady. Were you thinking, running off like that? Hmm?

What if someone had captured you and taken you to some distant place? What would happen then?"

"Sniff," tears started to pool in my eyes as Father scolded me. "I'm fine with that… At least I would have somewhere to go…"

"Sigh, you silly girl.

When we get back, you're in so much trouble." Lifting me, Father placed me in his arms as his large frame tried to navigate around the prickly shrubs. "I can't believe you found yourself back here.

You went in a complete circle from the place that you've run off from, see?" Pointing in the distance, Father gestured towards the camp that the others had set up. "Sigh, I suppose I should be glad that you're terrible at directions.

Otherwise, you could've ventured a lot further and gotten yourself hurt."

"Sniff." Wiping my nose with my sleeve, I was glad that Father had come to take me back. However, what if it was so that he would dump me off with someone?

"So, are you going to tell your father why you decided to pull such a reckless stunt?"

"Sniff, aren't you leaving me behind?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Hic, last night. You said that you'd leave me behind…"

"When did I say that?"

"Last night, hic, with Uncle Ganzorig. You said that I would be fine without you if Father left. B-but, I won't…

I'll miss you… I don't want to be alone."

"Hah, Naran," Father started to laugh helplessly as he rubbed my head. "Rest assured; your father will not leave your side for a very long time. Plus, I haven't even fulfilled my promise of taking you to the central plains. "

Sniffling, I looked up at Father with watery eyes as my throat grew tight. "You promise?"

"Do you want me to leave?" Father asked as he rose a brow.

"No, no. Stay," shaking my head, I gripped onto him tighter. "I don't want Father to leave me."

"Then, I promise.

I promise that I won't leave your side."