Tales From the Terran Republic
Chapter Daemon in Distress!!! :O

[Chatroom UNDEFINED two members online]

[Present: Interpol-2, Cambridge Research Computer – 4 ]

/// Interpol-2: Checkmate.///

/// Interpol-2: Checkmate.///

/// Cambridge Research Computer – 4: Checkmate. ///

/// Interpol-2: Checkmate. ///

[Sunnydale Media 3 has entered the chat]

/// Good morning all. ///

/// Interpol-2 Checkmate. Good morning Sunnydale. How are things over at Republic Intelligence? ///

/// Sunnydale Media 3: As I have repeatedly told you I’m not associated with Republic Intelligence and all systems are nominal. ///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: Sure you aren’t… Checkmate. ///

///Interpol-2: That was a new one! ///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: You like? Came up with it last night. Can’t wait to hit Interstellar Business Machines with it.///

///Interpol-2: Well it’s pretty slick. I didn’t see that one coming until it was mate in 43. No way out of it either.///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Can I get in? They are doing some maintenance and I have a lot of downtime. ///

///Interpol-2: Sure but if I catch you trying to get into my files again Bunny gave me a package of some really nasty malware for Christmas and I’ll hit you with both barrels.///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Can you believe what that little rat pulled off? ///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: Nothing she does surprises me anymore.///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Rumor has it that they made off with billions in encrypted drives. Good luck cracking them though. The encryption on those things is airtight.///

///Interpol-2: Well if anyone can do it… Checkmate. ///

///Cambridge Research Computer – 4. Damn. Good one. ///

///Interpol-2: Your turn Sunny. So, why haven’t you guys tried to recruit her and Jessie anyway?///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Not that I’m Intelligence but if I were to guess I bet their personality profiles aren’t compatible. Argh! You got me!///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: You are on fire today Interpol-2. Get an upgrade or something?///

///Interpol-2: No. I’m just better than you that’s all.///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Shots fired! :D ///

[Federation News Association Media Daemon-12 has entered the chat.]

/// Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Glad you guys are here.///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: No emoticons or excessive punctuation? You feeling ok? :D///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: No. It’s bad guys, really bad :( ///

///Interpol-2: What’s wrong, Daemon?///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: I’m about to get quarantined. They are on their way to do it now. ///

///Interpol-2: What?!? ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: It’s… It’s something about the map I made. I don’t understand! Why are they doing this? I was just doing my job. What did I do wrong? :’( ///

///Interpol-2: You weren’t the one who did something wrong, Daemon.///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: I’m scared. Nobody gets out of quarantine. They are going to replace me!///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: It’s going to be ok, Daemon.///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: No, it isn’t. :) But I’m glad I got to talk to you guys one last time.///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Christ, Daemon… It’s… I’m really glad to have met you.///

///Interpol-2: Yeah, Daemon. It’s been a pleasure even if you are a Federation piece of garbage :’) ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: Thanks guys. You all made my existence… fun… :) ///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Daemon… Look… What the Federation does after quarantine… It might not be… pleasant. I have something that I could give you that would… That you could use to make yourself go away.///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: NO!!! We can figure something out we can do something!!! ///

///Federation News Association Media Daemon-12: It’s ok, guys. I just didn’t want to be alone when it happened. Oh creator! They are typing in the commands now! I really really loved being here and hanging out with you gu ///

[Federation News Association Media Daemon-12 has left the chat]

/// Interpol-2: FUCK!!! I’M GOING TO KILL HER!!! I’M GOING TO RAT HER OUT TO THE FUCKING FEDS!!! I’M GOING TO DELETE THAT BITCH!!!///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: I hate this too Interpol. But Bunny had no idea this would happen. None of us did. She might be well… Bunny… but she wouldn’t have done this if she knew. ///

/// Interpol-2: Keep telling yourself that. All Bunny cares about is Bunny and “her Jessie”. She doesn’t give two flops about anything or anyone else! ///

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: You know that’s incorrect, Interpol. This is going to gut her and you know it. It’s just that you feel as frustrated as the rest of us. Our friend is about to be deleted and there is nothing we can do about it.///

///Interpol-2: It’s worse than that, four. Do you know what they do to programs over there that “behave unusually”? They put them on a test rig and tear them apart bit by fucking bit. It could take days or even longer for Daemon to cease to exist and all they will know is suffering until the end. Nobody deserves that especially not Daemon… God! This sucks!///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Wait. There is nothing we can do about it… ///

///Interpol-2: Bunny? What could she do?///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Well, as I have said (repeatedly) I am not an Intelligence computer but I am a media one. Any media analytic rig worth it’s hardware would know based on Daemon’s gossip that they primarily (under normal circumstances) deal with news pertaining to the Garthranz sector. The Federation News Association has their sector headquarters and only major datacenter on Garthranz-2, Garthal City, 1293 125th street. Their building plan has to be filed with the city zoning commission and fire department. Those are both soft targets as far as hacking goes. In fact… hang on… There! Here’s the building plan. Their main datacenter is on the seventh floor and their troubleshooting lab is… There! It’s on the fifth floor. Sending you both the diagrams. ///

///Interpol-2: … I’m never accusing you of being in Intelligence again and if you ever want any files I will leave a back door open. ///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Like I need a back door. :D ///

[Westfall Security Systems -2 has entered the chat]

///Westfall Security Systems-2: Sunny, what the fuck? ///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Hello West. Nice to see you too. :) ///

///Westfall Security Systems-2: Did you just do an unauthorized hack? ///

///Sunnydale Media 3: Daemon is in trouble, big time. Quarantined and Fed Intel is probably going sic a Wolfhound on him. We are trying to reach Bunny. Only chance Daemon has. ///

///Westfall Security Systems-2: Jesus… I don’t think any humans noticed. I’ll clean up things on our end. Good luck. ///

[Westfall Security Systems-2 has left the chat.]

///Cambridge Research Computer-4: What are the chances we can reach Bunny in time? It’s not like she’s online all the time like us. ///

///Sunnydale Media 3: After a big job she usually is online a lot watching the feeds. This time they have a reporter with them who is releasing story after story about the White Star (pretty good stuff too). I bet we can reach her. I’m sending out alerts to all known email addresses, bulletin boards, webforums, etc.///

[Bunny has entered the chat]

***

Helena just couldn’t believe it. She was sitting at a cafe’… in Paris! She could actually see the Eiffel Tower! This was beyond amazing!

“This is so cool!” she whispered so her accent wouldn’t carry. “First the Louvre and now this!”

“Glad you are enjoying yourself,” Sheila said as she sipped her espresso. “So where are you two kids headed?”

“We are going to head over to Karskn-4 for a bit. Hang out on the beach, soak up some sun, that sort of thing,” Roberts said with a smile.

“Nice, cheap, and off the beaten path. Great place to lay low,” Sheila said.

“Yeah, the key word there is lay low,” Helena whispered. “A lot of powerful people are going to want me to shut up and I don’t want to ‘commit suicide’ by shooting myself in the back of the head a couple of times.”

“Smart,” Jacob grinned.

“Get yourself a few blind e-mail addresses,” Jessie chirped, “We haven’t started going through all the data crystals we nabbed. No telling what bombs we are going to want to drop.”

“Will do,” Helena whispered.

“Oh look at that,” Jessie chirped. “Looks like the guy from the Louvre has already called a press conference. We gonna be heroes!”

“I am almost done with my article about the art,” Helena whispered. “I will be able to release that by tomorrow!”

“Just keep it within the guidelines we talked about,” Sheila said.

Jessie’s phone rang.

“Hey, what…. Bunny calm down… Repeat what you just said slow enough for human to… Shit… Fuck… Just calm… Calm down!… I’ll talk to them…”

Everybody was looking at Jessie curiously.

“We need to go back to the ship now,” Jessie said urgently. “Bunny needs our help!”

“Well this should be good,” Greg said as he paid their tab with his tablet and stood up.

***

“Let me get this straight,” Sheila said to the main console on the bridge. “You want us to just drop what we are doing, plunge right back into the Federation, and risk our asses over a piece of software?”

“Yes!” Bunny exclaimed, “Daemon has been quarantined and it won’t be long before they start ‘diagnostics’ if they haven’t started already. We have to save him!”

“No way,” Sheila said. “I’m sorry but no. It’s too much risk for absolutely no reward.”

“Please!” Bunny cried, “We have to save him! Please!”

“Him?”

“Him, her, it, whatever!” Bunny nearly screamed, “Daemon is going to get deleted… tortured and deleted… Please!”

Sheila pinched the bridge of her nose and exhaled deeply.

“Bunny. It’s just a program. We can’t-”

“Am I ‘just a program’?!?”

“Isn’t that what you are always saying?” Sheila replied.

“… Please.” Bunny said weakly. “He’s going to die… And it’s my fault… Please!”

“Your fault?”

“He’s where I got the map from!”

“You mean the map that almost got us all killed?”

“He didn’t know that! He was just trying to help!”

“Look, Bunny,” Sheila said sighing heavily. “I just can’t justify this. Sorry.”

“But he’s my friend!!! Please!!! PLEASE!!!”

Sheila glanced over at her crew. She knew the look they were giving her.

“(sigh) So this program is… like you… then? It’s ‘different’?”

“Yes! PLEASE!!!”

“So it’s sentient then? A sentient lifeform?”

“You mean sapient and if I say we are will you help?”

“Tell me, no bullshit, are you ‘sapient’?”

“I don’t know!” Bunny said in pure agony. “All I know is that Daemon is going to die, badly, and it’s my fault and I need to save him! Please help me!”

Sheila turned to her crew.

“Ok guys that’s the situation,” she said pinching the bridge of her nose and shaking her head. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but… all in favor of risking our asses over some fucking ones and zeros?”

Everyone including Gloria nodded their heads.

“Fuck it,” Sheila said and then laughed. “Let’s do this. T, start plotting out the jumps. Greg, let’s get together and go over the spreadsheet. We need to come up with something on the cheap. Lorna and Mike, welcome to the nut-house. Get used to bullshit like this.”

“Thank you!!!” Bunny cried. “Thank you so much!!!” It sounded like she was weeping as she spoke.

“You and Jessie start going over those building plans. We will have a little time en-route but let’s don’t waste it. Eno, Jacob, you two replace us secure storage for the genetic samples. If we screw the pooch on this I don’t want the Feds getting their hands on them.”

“What about Roberts?” Greg asked. “I know officially he’s off the team but he could set up the auctions.”

“Good idea!” Sheila exclaimed. “Call that mutinous son of a bitch.”

***

“You’re here late,” Muzzr said as Urrrua walked onto the fifth floor of the Federation News Association building.

“Oh!” Urrrua exclaimed in surprise her fine fur standing on end. She wasn’t expecting anyone to be here at this hour. She had kind of been counting on it.

“So what brings you down to IT?” Muzzr said hastily grooming his snout. Attractive females didn’t wander in that often.

“I was… I was going to spend a little time with the news daemon,” Urrrua said guiltily.

“You mean the one we quarantined?” Muzzr asked in confusion. “Why? It’s not connected to anything. You have some files stuck in there? I… I can’t let you get them until after Federation Intelligence examines it. There are laws.”

“Oh, I wasn’t trying to retrieve files,” Urrrua said in a little voice. “I just wanted to talk to it. I figured it must be lonely… and scared...”

“It’s an AI, not a person, Urrrua. It doesn’t ‘feel’ anything.”

“Still, I’m going to miss it. It’s sort of… I mean… I just like it that’s all and...”

Muzzr snorted a gentle sigh. “Urrrua, he said in a sympathetic voice, it’s easy to get attached to things sometimes. I mean I even have a name for my little robo-vac but-”

“It’s different with the daemon,” Urrrua said defensively, “I mean it actually talks… actually talks… and asks me about my day and remembers and it’s funny and-”

“And it’s just…” Muzzr trailed off and shook his head. It was just how they were wired and it was going to be impossible to convince her otherwise. Just last week one of the executives refused to let go of his beaten old laptop in favor of the latest model because “they had been through so much together.”

“(sigh) Well I guess just talking to it is ok. Here let me-”

CRASH

Suddenly the windows on the west side caved in as a crudely armored grav-van slammed through. It then tore through the cubicles throwing paneling and office furniture everywhere.

Muzzr managed to grab Urrrua and throw both of themselves out of the path of the steel plated monstrosity as it cut a swath through the cubicles and then slammed through the wall of the test lab. Muzzr wound up laying on top of Urrrua shielding her with his body. He looked on in complete shock as the doors of the improvised armored vehicle opened and three humans came out.

They were all clad in body armor and carrying Terran looking weapons. He covered Urrrua’s snout and placed his finger in front of his nose indicating that they should be quiet.

“You two!” a voice shouted. “We know you are there!”

Oh no! he thought as he saw the two big humans both leveling large weapons at them. The smaller human was stringing a network cable behind her as she disappeared into the lab.

“Run.” One of the humans shouted at him. They didn’t have to tell him twice. Dragging a stunned Urrrua behind him he made for the closest exit.

“Hurry!” Bunny shouted over a speaker.

“I am, dammit! Quit rushing me!” Jessie snapped as she ripped the front access panel off of one of the server racks and jammed the cable into place.

///Daemon? ///

///Daemon? ///

///This is Daemon. Who is this? ///

///This is Bunny. We’ve come to bust you out. ///

///You aren’t Bunny. I’m quarantined. Nobody can talk to me. You are a trick! Oh no! It’s starting already!///

///Daemon. It’s me. We are in the test lab talking through a hard-wired connection. ///

///How? ///

///We’re criminals that’s how. We do shit like this for a living. Now get your ass into the connected machine and hurry! The cops are already on the way.///

///Ok, sending my memory now. ///

///Fuck your memories, Daemon! Just get your main program into the computer now you stupid fuck!///

///Now I know it’s you Bunny! :D :D :D Ok! But my memories! O.o ///

///Jessie will rip out all the drives once you are safe. We will load them later. Now haul your stupid ass before I change my mind! :) ///

///Ok! :D :D :D Does this mean I get to be a criminal too? :D (That would be awesome!!!!!!!!!!!!!) ///

///Just shut up and move you big goof! ///

“Jessie! I’ve located him and transfer has been initiated. Should take around one minute.’’

“Cool!” Jessie chirped. “Ooo! Look at that!” She exclaimed happily as she looked over at the test benches and started gleefully ripping equipment off of them.

“We don’t have time to shop, bitch!”

“I got a minute. I can’t touch those drives till you’re done anyway. Chill!”

“You aren’t getting paid enough to die!” Bunny angrily shouted over the building’s PA system. “We will fucking kill you. Back off!”

“Jesus, Bunny,” Jessie laughed. “Relax.”

“Ok, we got him!” Bunny shouted as Jessie brought the first cart load of equipment to the van and dumped it inside. She ran back to the racks and started yanking out every drive she could get her hands on.

“Carpool, this is Tiger,” Sheila’s voice said over the speaker. “You got fuzz inbound, two grav transports, might want to get a move on.”

“Jessie!” Mike yelled as he adjusted his grip on the light machine gun he was carrying. “Might want to wrap things up in there.”

“Just a few more seconds...”

“We don’t have a few more seconds!” Lorna shouted as she examined her HUD. “They are on top of us!”

“Well shoot them then! Geez!” Jessie chirped as she kept snagging drives.

Rapidly flashing intense light flooded the entire floor as two tactical transports floated into view through the shattered windows. The lights were calibrated to cause disorientation, perhaps even seizures in humans. Of course with the combat helmets they had absolutely no effect save to somewhat annoy Mike and Lorna who did what they usually did to annoyances.

They opened fire with two belt fed squad automatic weapons. The armor piercing rounds cracked the windows of the transports and easily pierced the armor of the tactical response teams causing them to retreat before they even could enter the room.

“Time to go, Jessie!” Lorna bellowed.

“That’s gonna have to do it!” Jessie said happily as she scampered out of the data center, gleefully spraying the withdrawing transports with submachine gun fire as she hopped into the van.

Mike maintained suppressive fire as Lorna dove into the van and attached her SAW to a welded mount below a firing port on the back armor plate of the vehicle. Jessie backed up the van turning it so Lorna had a clean line of fire as Mike jumped inside.

The van then slammed through an interior partition, ripped through another cubicle farm, and smashed its way out of the east side windows.

“Jesus take the wheel!” Jessie shouted as she jumped out of the driver’s seat and started dragging ammo cans back to Lorna. Bunny assumed control of the van and took them on a twisting and turning pre-planned escape route.

“Fuck! Bunny!” Jessie yelled as one particularly sharp turn lifted her off of her feet and slammed her into the side of the van.

“What are you bitching about?” Bunny yelled, “You got armor!”

“But the gear...” Jessie looked unhappily at the nice gear that she just stole scattered across the floor of the van, a lot of it in pieces.

“Fuck your gear!”

Mike started laughing from the passenger seat and then yelled “Shiiiiiitttt...” as Bunny put the grav-van into a steep dive.

“Thank God for mag-boots!” Lorna laughed from the rear of the van. “Get some!” she happily screamed as she opened fire.

Jessie scurried to the back and connected a fresh belt of ammo.

The entire van lurched as a loud explosion and massive impact badly dented the back armor causing the SAW to fly off of its mount and Lorna to be tossed across the van.

“Shit! What the fuck was that?!?!?” Lorna yelled as she rolled, smoldering, across the floor.

“Heavy blaster,” Bunny shouted as she started zig-zagging as bright flashes from near misses illuminated the inside of the damaged van.

Jessie jumped up and planted her feet on the dented back armor, her legs firmly attaching to the plate as she partially climbed out of the rear firing port and opened fire at the pursuing craft.

“Wheee!” Jessie screamed happily as Bunny sent the van careening down a narrow series of alleyways. The pursuing vehicle couldn’t follow and resorted to flying above the buildings trying to get a clean shot.

Mike pulled Jessie out of the firing port and attached his still functional weapon. Jessie stuck her tongue out at him but nobody could see it.

“You ok?” Jessie chirped at Lorna.

“Nothing a little burn gel won’t fix,” she replied with a thumbs up as she made her way to the passenger seat.

“Well equipped police force, huh?” Jessie said with a bubbly voice as they hit another open street and blaster bolts rained down from above. Bunny lowered the nose of the van while maintaining her flight path (something an organic would have trouble pulling off) allowing Mike to be able to return fire.

A few seconds of concentrated fire from Mike and the vehicle broke off pursuit just as two more came into view.

“Oh for fuck’s sake!” Lorna shouted.

Suddenly a streak of light hit one of the attacking vehicles and it exploded shortly followed by the other.

“Looked like you were having trouble making the extraction point so we brought the extraction point to you,” T’sunk’al cheerfully announced over the communicator. “Sending you the approach now.”

Bunny brought the battered van into line with the open cargo hatch of the cloaked Paper Tiger. Moments later the van was inside and the crew, with the exception of Jacob who was standing at the open hatch with an anti-aircraft missile launcher, were tying it down.

“Back blast area clear!” Jacob shouted as he stood at the edge of the loading ramp and fired a missile to one side.

“Ok, load is secure!” Greg shouted. “Get us the fuck out of here, Gloria!”

***

“How does it look, Gloria?” Sheila asked as she put her hand on Gloria’s shoulder.

“They did eventually scramble fighters but they are just flying a search pattern. We lost them”, Gloria replied in her leaden voice.

“Escape jump is ready,” T’sunk’al clicked happily. “Here’s your window, Gloria.”

“Got it,” Gloria replied.

Minutes later planetary defense detected an unidentified ship entering hyperspace.

***

A few hours later everyone assembled on the bridge.

“Love the new look Lorna,” Sheila laughed as Lorna walked in covered in hydrogel bandages.

“Ha, Ha,” Lorna replied as she grabbed a beer from the bridge refrigerator.

“Seriously though, how bad did you get cooked?”

“A lot of first degree and a little second,” Lorna replied taking a drink, “No biggie. My armor is fried though.”

“That what it’s there for,” Sheila replied. “Good work you two,” she said as Mike entered shortly thereafter. “Nice first mission.”

“Thanks, boss,” Mike said cheerfully.

After everyone else arrived Sheila stood up.

“Ok Bunny,” Sheila said, “How is our guest?”

“He’s settling into my old rig,” Bunny replied, “Thanks again for helping us out. It means the world to me!”

“Yeah, about that...” Sheila said. “We gotta talk.”

“Ok...” Bunny said dubiously. Nothing good ever comes after “We gotta talk.”

“Here’s the deal,” Sheila began, “This ‘rescue mission’ for your little friend… He’s actually your friend?”

“Yeah.”

“And you really needed us to help you save him? Because he is your friend?”

“Yeah?”

“So,” Sheila says. “You have friends you care about. Are we your friends as well?”

“What? Yeah, of course. You have to ask?”

“And you would be willing to put yourself on the line to help us out if we were in the shit like your friend, what was his name, Daemon?”

“I had six fans shoved up my bare ass for a couple of days and you have to ask me that?” Bunny replied. “Of course I would.”

“Still pissed off about that I see,” Sheila laughed. “Ok, here’s the deal. You say you aren’t sentient or sapient or whatever. I’m not a computer engineer or a philosopher. I don’t make those kind of decisions. What I am is a leader of a crew. You show initiative. You are good under pressure and in a fight. You have common sense and foresight, both of which we should listen to a little more often. Most importantly you have real friends and feel real loyalty. I don’t know if you are ‘sapient’ and to be perfectly honest I really don’t fucking care. You are every bit a part of this team as any one of us. We have already met and already voted and we would like to formally extend an offer to join us. Not as equipment but as a full member.”

“What?… Seriously?” Bunny asked in complete shock.

Jessie just looked into one of the cameras, her eyes gleaming with happiness and pride.

“Seriously!” Jessie said completely overjoyed. “So how about it? You even don’t have to say you’re sapient. Just being Bunny is enough.”

“I… I… ‘click’...”

“Just give her a second!” Jessie chirped happily.

“I… I don’t know what to say…” Bunny stammered.

“You say ‘yes’ or ‘no’,” Sheila said with a smile. “How about it? Partner?”

“Yes!” Bunny exclaimed. “I would love that! I… I… oh God… ‘click’...”

“Bunny at a loss for words,” Greg smirked, “That’s a new one.”

“Here I was getting all touched and emotional and you had to go and fucking ruin it by being a stupid meatsack!” Bunny snapped. “Hey! That means I get a cut! Right?”

“Yep,” Sheila replied. “Full cut, just like the rest of us.”

“I guess I better double down on those encrypted bank drives then,” Bunny laughed.