Taming the Queen of Beasts
Chapter 483 - Not Worth It

AARYN

He and Elreth had made love again when they got back to the cave. And for that time, Aaryn's heart had been at rest. They'd gone to the bathing pools and soaked in the mineral pool, and even though his heart was beating faster than it should have, he'd been able to play it down and convince Elreth it was just the combination of loving with her and the heat of the water.

Then they'd gone to bed, and he'd held her, both of them talking quietly about Gar and Rika, about their own honeymoon at the fishing cave. And about the Protectors, and the amazing victory they'd had.

He should have been overjoyed. His mate loved him. The Protectors were finally a tribe. And his brother had found his true mate. There were pressures on the horizon, but it had been a day of victories. And he was grateful. He should have been pleased. He should have been able to sleep.

But he couldn't.

Small thoughts of his mother plagued him as well, wondering if she was still nearby. Wondering how she would have felt about the Veneration. Whether she might have come back for this if she'd known.

Wondering what his father would have said. Whether Reth was right and he would have been proud.

Aaryn prayed it was so, but the ache didn't leave his chest.

When Elreth rolled away from him in her sleep an hour later, he turned on his side and watched her in the dark, let his eyes follow the curve of her waist down from her ribs, then back up to her hip as she curled on her side. There wasn't an inch of her skin that wasn't precious to him. Not a curl of her hair he didn't ache to wrap around his finger and use to tug her closer.

And there wasn't a damn thing he could do about what they were facing.

All at once, he felt the presence of the humans as if they were a weighted blanket, pulling slowly up the bed, soon to cover them both, then suffocate them.

Aaryn shuddered and shook off the thought, knowing it wasn't going to help. But his body was tense and he couldn't relax.

Vision after vision of the humans arriving unannounced. Maybe Tarkyn's scouts didn't catch them. Maybe their incredible technology allowed them to get around the trackers.

Maybe they just killed everyone who came close so Tarkyn never even heard that they were already there.

Maybe—

Aaryn breathed a curse, his heart pounding.

He looked forward to hearing what Gahrye and Kalle would replace about closing the traverse. Traverses, he reminded himself.

The Protectors had a task ahead of them.

And so did he.

He blinked, suddenly smelling death and decay, the dry, barren dust of the traverse.

He was going to enter it in a few hours. He swallowed hard. He knew that Gar had been convinced he'd cross without a problem, that he was strong. But as he lay there in the dark listening to his mate's slow, even breathing, he felt the furthest thing from strong. He felt as weak as a day-old pup, and almost as blind.

He'd been arrogant, he realized, thinking that his love for Elreth was enough. Thinking that was all he needed to cross safely. That he'd just step in there the first time and be fine.

Gahrye had almost lost the fight a couple of times early on, and he was the strongest of all of them, as far as Aaryn knew.

He realized his body was stiff as a board, all his muscles tensed, and tried to force himself to relax. But as soon as his focus shifted away from one set of muscles, they would tense again.

What if he was wrong? What if Gar was wrong about him?

He'd end up taking Elreth down with him—and they all needed her.

Holy shit.

Holy fucking shit.

He'd been so arrogant. So blind. What the fuck had he been thinking?

He sat up, panting, the furs sliding down into his lap.

Next to him, Elreth stirred, but didn't wake. He waited, barely breathing, though his heart pounded so hard it thrummed in his skin.

What was it Gar and Elia had said about the traverse? The voices brought you your greatest temptation or your greatest fear. They brought it to you, faced you with it, and sometimes… sometimes what they said was true.

And he was planning to walk into it, hand in hand, with the most precious person in existence?

What the fuck had he been thinking?

Hands trembling with fear, barely breathing, Aaryn peeled back the furs and swung himself off the sleeping platform landing silently on the cave floor. He waited, but Elreth didn't stir.

He straightened, still watching her silhouette in the dark.

Elreth was his mate. His True Heart's Call. She was more precious to him than anyone, or anything else in this world, or any other. She was also his Queen. His Dominant. And utterly necessary to what they were doing.

If something were to happen to him, they could still win this war. But if Elreth disappeared… Aaryn shuddered, then closed his eyes.

His mind was made up for him.

Creeping slowly away from the bed, he gathered up his clothes but didn't put them on, instead of tip-toeing out of the bed-chamber and down the hall towards the Great Room.

When he got there, they'd left a single lamp burning, just in case. He stood in its light to change then turned for the door—and immediately turned on his heel. Because if something did happen, he couldn't let Elreth wonder.

Finding a piece of paper and the ink and pen, he scribbled a quick note and left it on the table where she'd see it when she walked past. 

Then Aaryn took a deep breath and turned for the door. He walked out with his chin high and his shoulders back.. And when he reached the meadow, he started to run.