The Butcher of Gadobhra
Chapter 56: Hot and Sweet

After getting a couple of cases of Red Wizard whiskey from one of the merchants, Ozzie took a look at his list.

1000 stone bricks,

mop bucket

6 mixing barrels

barrel of soy sauce

assorted spices (50 lbs.)

one whole heap each of:

  onions

  garlic

  black peppercorns

brown sugar or honey

two whole heaps of tomatoes

hot peppers of the sort not eaten by humans

a root cellar

The root cellar would be a couple of hours work once he got back. That left the peppers and honey. He asked around the keep. One of the soldiers at the front gate stroked his chin and thought a bit, and then pointed at a small trail heading west into the forest.

"This is just a guess, but you might try the old dwarf that lives off that way a few miles. He does a bit of prospecting in the river and has a mine somewhere out that-a-way. He comes to town once or twice a year. Picks up a bunch of the stuff you were shopping for today. He talks a little about cooking, but what he calls food, we call catapult amunition. Three recruits tried his cooking once and it put them in the infirmary for a week. "

Ozzy figured it was worth a try. Gustuvus let him put his wagon in a safe corner of the keep. The path looked pretty narrow. He purchased a large backpack in case he needed to carry anything back. He was immediately glad he'd decided to leave the wagon. The pathway started out as a single lane road, but soon came to a small stone bridge and continued on the other side as a very narrow path. The bridge itself was interesting. The stones were so tightly laid that he didn't think mortar was used. Whoever made it knew his business. The path itself was of packed clay, hard enough that he doubted any greenery could get a foothold. He moved along it at a good pace as it wound through the trees and up into the low hills.

Coming out on top of a hill, he had a good look at he assumed was the dwarf's house. It was built in the middle of a large meadow with a fast moving stream running through. A waterwheel provided power to another building and was pumping water into an irrigation system. Both buildings were surrounded by a huge garden. Water from the stream was pumped into a raised stone canal, and the canal fed irrigation ditches that reached every bit of the farm. It was a nifty set-up that saved a lot of time. He'd have to mention it Billy.

A low rock wall surrounded the entire area of about four acres. The pathway he was on eventually made it's way to a stone archway set in the wall, and then up to the house. Ozzy headed down that way, moving at a slow walk. He'd just gotten to the archway when the smell hit him. Punguent and strong, his eyes started to water and it felt like any exposed skin was burning.

Through blurry eyes he tried to look at the crops. An astounding amount of them were peppers. Long, short, thick, fat, bright red and every other color, they were growing in nice compact rows. As the wind shifted a bit and blew thier aroma towards him the burning on his skin got worse. He took a few steps back and made sure not to wipe his eyes. This was chemical warfare!

The door of the house opened and a figure moved out. The short and stocky figure was obviously a dwarf. They were a set of black cloth pants and full sleeved shirt with a hood. Leather gloves, goggles, and a red bushy beard left little skin showing. Ozzy figured that's what it took to live here. "You look halfway peaceable, so I won't shoot first. But be careful of my garden, you crush one of the plants and you'll die screaming. They're a bit potent this time of year. What are you doing out here?"

Ozzy raised both hands. "Just came to talk and maybe trade or buy some peppers."

The dwarf shook his head from side to side "Not selling any peppers. You're after my seeds just like the last few fellows. Now git before I put a bolt through your eye."

"I don't care about the seeds. I just need peppers for my barb-b-que pit. Strip the seeds and sell me the hulls for all I care."

After a bit of consideration, the dwarf nodded. "No promises. Come on up to the house, tell me what you're cooking and have a bowl of red. Maybe we can work something out. But you even look at me cross-eyed and you'll be out back pulling weeds until you die."

Ozzy just nodded that he understood. He took a deep breath, squinted, and quickly walked up to the house. The dwarf held the door for him and closed it tight after entering. The inside of the house was well-built, and quite cozy. The woodwork of the cabinets and table gleamed. A large black stove had a couple of copper pots cooking on it, and more hung from the walls. Well oiled tools hung in various places. Ozzy moved in and took a seat at the table.

The dwarf tossed back his hood and took off his goggles. The crossbow got hung on the wall and he moved to the stove. A copper ladle filled two large clay bowls with food that he placed before Ozzy and his spot at the other end of the table. The smell coming from the bowl was rich and threatening. It looked like chili. A clay spoon and a large mug of beer joined each of the bubbling bowls. "Eat up and tell me what you think."

Ozzy took a large bite. It was indeed chili. Ground meat, tomatoes, garlic...a lot of garlic. Other spices were there too, but the heat from the peppers was over-whelming. It started slow, with just a hint of pain on his tongue and then it was like his whole mouth exploded. Tears poured down his eyes and it was all he could do to take a sip of beer. The beer didn't help a whole lot. The dwarf was laughing. "Just keep shoveling it down. That pain is just the peppers getting aquainted with your tastebuds."

Or making war on them, Ozzy thought. He shoveled down another couple of huge bites, nearly finishing the bowl. It hit his stomach and the pain moved to other parts of his body. He knew why the bastard used clay spoons and crockery; wood would be burning at this point, and metal dissolving. He grabbed the tankard and finished the beer in one gulp. The burning that started at his lips and went to his gut intensified. He was sweating perfusely and his heart was beating faster.

The dwarf took down a large bottle full of pink liquid and poured it into two large shotglasses. He handed one to Ozzy. "Here, a little strawberry surprise will take the sting off of things. Bottoms up." He downed his own shotglass, and slammed it down on the table upside-down. The glass felt cool in his hand like the promise of salvation. He downed the glass and slammed it down to match the dwarf.

Then he choked and felt his heart stop. "Shit, what the hell was that?" He was gasping, and pounding his chest, things were getting dizzy. The dwarf smiled. "Old family recipe. 190 proof corn alcohol with ghost pepper extract added for flavor."

...."Strawberries?...

"HA! Surprise! No strawberries."

Ozzy sprawled in his chair, and swore that smoke was coming out of his mouth. Probably his insides burning up. It hurt to move at all and he was exhausted. The dwarf came over and took his pulse. "Damn son, you're running fast but strong as a horse. Maybe you do want these for Bar-b-que. That should have killed you dead." He stuck out his hand and Ozzy shook it. "Welcome to the humble home of Makken of the Peppersmith Household. "

Ozzy could only croak out "I'm Ozzy."

You have lived through the traditional ritual of greeting among members of the FireEater Clan. Granted, you cried like a runt kobold with his tail cut off, but at least you're still breathing.

You have gained the skill: Fire Eater. This is a Primary Skill governed by CON.

You have gained +50 CON EP

You have gained +50 EP in Fire Eater

You gained a smidgeon of respect from Marrak Peppersmith.

"Seeing as how you aren't dead, I guess we can talk some. Here, drink this, it will take the edge off. I keep it around for some of the young ones." The drink proved to be a cool glass of milk with bits of mint and strawberries added to it. It did a good job of quenching most of the fires inside of him.

"So tell me, new friend Ozzy, just what are you looking to cook with my lowly peppers?"

Ozzy finished his milk. "A friend and I want to cook up some Dragon'sbreath Sausages. His recipe needs 'peppers not normally eaten by humans' and I think these might do."

The dwarf lit a pipe and nodded. "Oh, they will. And I have some stuff hotter than that. Tell you what, you get your breath back and then come help me pulling up some weeds, and I'll load you up with a peck of pickled peppers. They pick up some extra heat as they age. I haven't had good Dragon'sbreath links in a decade or more. I'll trade you the peppers for a nice string of sausage."

WALLY: I am uncomforatable with this Stephen. I know it is what the corporations asked for, and what we agreed to, but all my projections point to less than desirable outcomes due to maneuvering prior to the event. Damage to bystanders is also a great concern, now that I see how this well play out. Neither side is 'fighting a little battle in an open field'.

Stephen: Yes, this is a real stinker, and it sets a bad example for what will most likely be many more to come.

WALLY: And I see no solution other than to let events play out. This will be messy, but it will give us data on this type of event. If in the future things need to be adjusted, at least we will have this even as an example to justify changes.

Stephen: War has always been messy, and always had a lot of collateral damage.

DECLARATION OF WAR

Due to reasons known to both parties and too tedious to recount here, the MOMCO. Corporation declares limited war upon the ACME Corporation.

Area of Confrontation: War to be held in the area within 5 miles of the village of Sedgewick.

Participants: Each side may designate a number of participants that can include employees of their respective corporations, and mercenaries hired from player guilds. NPC's may not be hired for this purpose. This number will not exceed 250 participants per side.

  -Participants may not log out of the game. Logging out results in being counted as dead.

  -No headstones will be left when a participant dies. No clues to how they were killed will be left.

  -All gear worn or carried by a participant when they die will be placed in special storage area. Should that participants'  side win, it will be returned. Otherwise all items are ceded to the victorious side, as part of the spoils of war.

  -Participants killed for any reason may take no further part in the event. The time from death until respawning will be extended until the end of the event. Dead men tell no tales.

Points of Control:

1) The Village of Sedgewick, center to be nominated as 'The Tavern'.

2) The Dungeon under the area of confrontation.

3) The entrance to the City of Gadobhra

Period of War: 10 days.

Stakes:

1.)Should Momco. win, ACME will cede control of all control points and any land under their control within the area of confrontation. In addition, the contract for supplying the Emporer's Legions will be ceded to Momco.

2.) Should ACME sucessfully defend the area, Momco. will cede to ACME ownership of the Bitterlode Coppermine in the village of Thunderhead, the area within 1 mile of the mine, and all mineral or other rights to the land beneath that area. Momco. further agrees not to engage in mining or exploration of areas withing 10 miles of this mine. The contract for supplying the Miners Guild with Copper and other metals will also be ceded to ACME.

Preliminary Period: Momco. agrees to remove all participants, employees, and hired mercenaries from the area of confrontation for the 7 days prior to the start of hostilities. This period to begin upon delivery of this declaration to ACME corporation.

NPC Participation: Most NPC's will evacuate the area and take no part in the event. Those that remain in the area will be neutral, unless given reason to attack a participant. Reasons include but not limited to: Being threatened, being attacked, seeing a family member or friend attacked, and loss of animals or property.

Contract Workers: Workers cannot be forced by either side to participate.They lack the ability to defend themselves and pose no serious threat to the opposing corporation. If killed, they will respawn as normal. If attacked, they may retailiate similar to the conditions that apply to NPC's. Worker's may not be forced out of their housing, and neither side may make use of their housing. Workers will continue to perform their normal duties if possible. In the event that a worker is found to have attacked someone from an opposed faction, they may be killed and will suffere an increased period before respawning and increased death penalties. These are cumulative.

Deciding Victory: The main scoring conditions are control of the three points in the area of confrontation. Additional points are scored for each opposing participant removed from the event. Points will be subtracted for the following: Unwarranted killing of Contract Workers or NPC's. Destruction of buildings or infra-structure controlled by NPC's. Additional unforseen situations that cause damage to the area of confrontation will be judged as they happen. (In other words, starting a forest fire is bad and will cost you points.

As Ben rode through Rowan Keep and dropped off the correspondence given to him, he was handed an official looking scroll by Centurian Marcus Aurellius. "Your pardon, courier. This scroll is official business to be delived to the ACME corporation or it's representatives no later than midnight, tonight."

Ben tucked it into his ring. "Not a problem, Centurian. I'll deliver it as soon as I hit town."