This Hero is Sleeping!
Chapter 63 62: Zombie Shenanigans

The group gathered after bringing along their weapons and equipment. Jamie with his axe, Quinton with his quiver. Puzo donned his coat and Erika carried along a long staff of wood. Claude, as always, strode down in casuals, except this time he had not sandals but boots! All new ones at that, bought for a steep discount of 5%! A once in a lifetime deal. And lastly, came Elric covered top to bottom with pillows and blankets.

The other five could only stare and blink at the sight as Elric came down and placed his arms on his waist, or tried to, the small pillows stuck to his lats made it impossible to lower his arms much.

"What, are you doing?" Erika snapped. Before she could get an answer, though, Claude pulled her by her shoulder and shook his head.

"This will take all day. Let's just go."

"No, what are YOU doing too?! Where's your weapons? Armors?"

Claude reeled back.

"I've got boots." He then pointed at Elric. "And there's my shield. Works especially well against flesh-eaters."

Erika was left sighing, but had no choice.

"See, bonkers."

"Totally, James, totally."

And so, the group of six set out of the hotel, from the back.

***

"Grrrr… grrrr…."

In a pub at the dusty backs of the city of Soleda, where sailors and porters spent the night just as well as merchants and wastrels did, three odd humans hid behind the counter.

Rows of Chateau's with different last names shone in front of them as they filled the racks, below them glasses hung upside down.

And far behind the counter, at the spot where the drinkers should have been drooling from intoxication.

"GRRAAA!"

Strange creatures were walking drooling over flesh and blood.

"Marcus… Bagpipe…"

"Tomas… Bagpipe…"

"Pu—"

"D-don't!"

Even the slightest sound was enough to send that thing after them. Bagpipe was technically a mute now, now that his bagpipe couldn't be played.

"Why is that man so angry anyway?!" Tomas asked. 

What were they to do? After being given the thumbs-up by their grand superior, the General Volfram himself, they decided to knock it out the park and go for a drink or two or twenty. And after getting hammered so far that they couldn't even bag the pipe anymore, someone entered the shop and crashed on the table they were playing poker at.

'Heathen! Hand over all your cash if you want to leave peacefully'

They only said that, so nice, helpful, kind.

But lo and behold, if only we still lived in the age of kindness. That bastard didn't only hold them down but bit one of the players. A commotion rang out as he called his gang over from outside and as if someone was just running a cannibal parade, all of them came in and fucking went down to town on the bar-goers.

Tomas, Marcus and Bagpipe Man all had the danger detection senses of a beast. When you're an idiot or when you can only speak through bagpipes, those were necessary.

And detect danger they did.

Like rats scuttled into the sewers, they ran behind the bar and hid under. The screams continued and the night passed. Almost the entire place was emptied out and the ones that were bit through woke up and ran outside. Or maybe they were taken away for the feast after the parade. Who knew!?

"We have to move, somehow. These cannibals can't rule us forever!"

Marcus proclaimed.

"Freedom, Marcus. Yes!"

Tomas burnt with flames.

"Puuun!"

Bagpipe tooted.

"Grr?"

Zombie heard.

THEY.

FUCKED.

UP.

"GRAAA!" The zombie like a toddler chasing after candy dashed over the counter and fell on the other side. It knocked down the lines of wines and their Chateau whatevers shoving glass shards into its face while spilling wine all over.

The trio scuttled back, a thud rang out as the three men walked into the bar, counter and smacked their heads.

"Graaah!" With a scream, the zombie tried to get up but slipped on the puddle of wine, smacking its already disfigured head on the ground.

All four stopped, rubbed the back of their heads and smiled in embarassment.

"Haha…"

"Grrr…."

"Puun Puun Puuuun."

"GRAAA!"

As if! The zombie screamed again and tried to grab Marcus. The man rolled on the ground and came over to the right while the other two went to the left.

"That's not a person!" Marcus screamed.

"What in the world is that!??" Tomas screamed louder.

They flipped over the barcounter's top and stepped out to the other side. Blood had filled the murky brown grounds and the bulbs and lamps were crushed, their shards mixing in with the remains of the tables and chairs and ceramic plates.

All good as long as nothing was jumping out at them.

"GRAA!" The thing behind them screamed again. 

The three yelped and scrammed out of the remains of the store, Marcus shoved the door open and the rest followed.

And stopped in their tracks.

"GRR?"

"Grrr?"

"GRaaaaa"

Dozens of zombies stood outside.

"Heh… hehe… hehehe… Let's just go back."

***

A dry, dusty wind breezed through the lanes behind the hotel where the group had lodged.

A creaking sound spread, and following it came a thud as Claude hopped out of the building.

Quiet. Eerily quiet.

He was certain that people would be wrecking a havoc long back, but either all of them were too scared to step out… or most of them were already gone.

His gaze turned to the left, where a single old zombie was constantly banging his head against the walls of the hotel.

'One.' He gestured, placing his fingers on his lips, he shushed and urged them out. 

Nice and slow, the group followed outside. The banners and flags that decorated the furthest streets were now torn and on the ground, while broken windows and discarded weapons were splayed around, signs of the struggles that must have taken place overnight.

Soon, all of them stepped out of the window from the ground floor, the old zombie still not noticing them.

At the end, the pillow clad Elric was out. The group decided to move along, but Elric broke off.

"Elric!" Claude whispered but wasn't heard. 

Sticking his tongue out, Elric tiptoed closer to the zombie that still banged its head. Elric came all the way behind it before the zombie could even notice.

"What's that guy doing?"

Elric rolled his hands.

"HAAH!"

And slapped the old zombie's head.

A loud bonk sounded as Elric dashed back toward the group.

"Go go go!"

"This fucker!!"