Vaudevillain
Chapter 11: Patching Things Up

Dylan walked into work with a slight yawn in his mouth. It wasn't because he was tired, the game never made him feel tired. No, he yawned because the others in the office were yawning and Dylan got caught up in the action. He made his way over to his desk and booted up his computer.

A list of emails asking for clarifications or fixes on his designs was the first thing he checked. Even after his work was approved people would come to him asking for all sorts of things. He made sure to cc them to the project manager. Once the project was approved he couldn't make any changes unless given the go-ahead by the project manager.

It was basic office politics. People thought they could get changes approved by going behind others' backs and reaching out to him directly. There wasn't a lot of it, but every work had one or two of those types. The one Dylan hated the most was Mark.

Mark was one of the designers at the firm and believed they were the hottest thing since sliced bread. He would constantly butt heads with the project manager for his "artistic vision." Dylan didn't believe it for a second. Mark was upset Claire got the project manager promotion.

Oh well, that was office life sometimes. Dylan went through the rest of his emails and then went to check his calendar. It seemed a morning meeting had been added at some point over the weekend. Seeing it was about time, Dylan made a quick stop at the cafeteria for some coffee and made his way to the conference room.

Almost the entire firm was there. Dylan spotted Claire standing to the side. "What's this about?" He asked.

Claire shrugged. "Dunno, bossman's got something to tell us I guess."

The two made a bit more small talk waiting. Finally, the owner of the firm stepped in and made his way to the podium at the front. Dylan knew his name, Charles, but had never talked to the person in question. He was old but held it well, giving him the kindly grandpa vibe.

"I'm sure you're all wondering why I've called this meeting." Charles started.

The crowd murmured.

"No, it's not because we're in trouble or anything. Our current projections are on track for the season. No, I've called everyone here today because I have some news about our current contract with the city."

"What? Did it get canceled?" Someone asked.

"No Tom it's not canceled." Charles sighed. "The city has demanded we push our schedule forward to complete the new buildings in time for the holiday seasons."

Cries of complaint milled around the room.

"I know, I know," Charles said, using a calming gesture with his hands. The crowd settled down. "I tried to get them to reconsider but they're adamant. I know many of you selected this firm because we do good work at work. Many of you have families and enjoy the amount of time you have with them. However, at this moment my hands have been tied. We need everyone to start working overtime until this project is complete."

More grumbling came from the crowd.

"The firm should only need to do this for a month and you will all be compensated accordingly. And you have my word that if the city changes their mind again we will drop this project. All I ask is for one month. That is all."

Bowing, Charles finished his speech and stepped down from the podium.

"Dang, there goes my date nights," Claire complained.

Dylan nodded, it seemed he'd be rather busy for the foreseeable future.

The rest of Dylan's week was spent working at the office. He would come in early in the morning and leave after eight at night. It wasn't the worst overtime he'd ever had to do, the old firm he worked for had him working all the time. Here the cafeteria offered free meals after hours and there was always a fresh supply of coffee, but Dylan was so tired after work each day he collapsed into bed and didn't play any World of Supers. He finally got the chance again on the weekend, waking up early Saturday.

"Man do I need this break," He said.

As Dylan logged into the game he was greeted by a message.

"Oh wow, they have patch notes out already? It's been like a week."

He opened up the list of changes. "Let's see…"

The beginning of the patch notes was the normal drawl of appreciation for playing the game and why they were making changes so early on. He skimmed through most of it until he reached something that looked relevant.

"Oh, they already changed up the base building." Dylan scrolled through the changes that had been made. It looked like a lot of people had complained about how difficult it was to make any sort of change. Vert promised to rework the system and for now added a few extra settings, like making straight lines and adding decorations to a tab. Overall it was a plus but Dylan wondered if Vert tacked the base building on at the last minute.

Dylan kept scrolling down the list of changes, skimming it over to see if anything else affected him. Various powers across the board had been changed. Dylan saw John's choice of elemental powers had gotten changed up a bit. Finally, his eyes caught a glimpse of gadgeteers/mad science.

Many players have submitted complaint tickets about the unintuitive design of the power tab. Most of the complaints are focused around a lack of options to build large inventions, like the mech in our trailer. There were also many complaints about the lack of detail when creating inventions. To remedy this, the power tabs for both Gadgeteering and Mad Science have been updated. We have added a description bar to the power tab which will allow players to enter more detail into their power. This should allow for more complex inventions. However, players should keep in mind that something too detailed will take a long time to process.

We've also fixed the combination system. Instead of adding every item to your inventory, the power will now have an overlay. By grouping the items in the overlay and selecting combine, the game will transform the objects into your designated item. This should allow for larger inventions to be built.

The rest of the patch notes were more changes to powers or lists of bug fixes. None of it pertained to him so Dylan closed the message and entered the game properly.

He spawned below the mansion inside his secret base and realized he had a problem. "I didn't build a ladder to get back up."

Then he remembered his boots. "Oh, right."

It seemed like the heavy workload had hit Dylan harder than he thought. He launched himself up out of the base and back up into the basement. Three Jacques were milling about the area bumping into each other. The factory was working on producing another but the screen was reporting "Out of toner."

"I'll need to get more resources," Dylan said.

"But first!" Dylan performed a heel-turn away from the printer. "I need to make some surveillance."

He opened up his power tab, checking out the new interface as he did. Under the normal box where he entered the invention sat another that asked for a description of the product. Dylan had the perfect idea for a test run.

Hatbot factory

This factory builds a small fedora hat the size of a pigeon's head. The inside of the hat holds a set of grabbers and a camera that streams to a television. When placed on a bird's head it will lock onto the head and start recording, only leaving when it needs to recharge. In addition, the grabbers work as small legs.

It took a minute for the process to finish but once it did Dylan had a list of parts needed to build his contraption.

Hatbot factory

3-D printer (4)

Television (4)

Fedora hat (1)

Action camera (1)

Coin battery (5)

Toy grabber (1)

Copper wire (1)

"YES!!!" Dylan cheered. The hatbot factory before was terrible. This one was much better. He still needed to grab some parts, like the toy grabber, but he had most of the tech on him. Working quickly, he typed in more of his ideas.

Pigeon caller

A whistle that specifically calls pigeons to the person.

Bird caller (1)

Everything bagel (half-eaten)

GPS device (1)

Smart mice minions

Mice that are bred for intelligence and stealth to be used in spying. Fiercely loyal to their creator.

Mice (1 pair male and female)

Animal puns (3)

Classical music (1 song)

IQ game (1)

Interlocking bricks (1 box)

Rubik's cube (1)

Obedience training certificate (1)

With all three ideas combined Dylan would finally have the network he wanted for spying. And then he could replace that phlebotinium and perform his first big heist! He quickly rocketed out to purchase the items he needed.

The trip to grab what he needed was quick. It turned out that certain areas in-game had been patched as "true neutral" zones so both parties could shop without any worry. Dylan was grateful for that, as he didn't want to create another fight just yet. He wanted the whole repertoire of minions and another cool gadget with him first.

With items in inventory, Dylan made his way back to the mansion and got to work creating his new toys. First up was the hatbot factory. He wanted one created so he could use it when he called a pigeon. He opened up the overlay to combine his items and placed everything on the floor in front of him. Through the overlay he selected each item and then hit combine.

A whirring noise sounded and the items spun together in a whirlwind of light. At the end of the process, a smaller device similar to the lackey factory appeared. This time a set of televisions sat next to the computer. Dylan pressed start on the machine and turned as the nozzles went to work.

As the hatbots were created Dylan made the pigeon whistle and the pair of smart mice. Two more whirlwinds appeared and in short order he had a pair of mice sniffing the air and a whistle shaped like a half-eaten bagel. He blew the whistle and waited. A hatbot appeared from the small factory and walked out on plastic feelers. It made its way over to the mice and tried to attach itself.

"Hey!" Dylan yelled. "Bad hatbot! No resting on the mice!"

The little hatbot drooped and made a quiet beep.

"Oh my god, you beep! That is way too cute!" He scooped up the bot and pet it on the top of its fedora. The little bot chirped in happiness.

Dylan heard a thump come from upstairs. "That must be the pigeons!" He said.

He stomped up the stairs excited and went to the front door. As he opened it he spied four pigeons stumbling around on the ground and three more flying in the sky towards him. He walked over to one of the pigeons on the ground and presented it before the hatbot. "Here you go little guy, this is what you're supposed to use."

The hatbot chirped and jumped from Dylan's hand onto the pigeon. The plastic feelers latched onto the small bird's head and settled comfortably on top. The pigeon regained its senses and flapped its wings a bit. "My little private eye pigeon surveillance. It's perfect."

"Jacques!" Dylan turned to his minions milling about in the yard. The three sprung to attention. "I need you to move the hatbot factory to the bedroom upstairs and open a window. I'll be up shortly." First, he wanted to check on his mice.

He made his way back down to the basement where the two mice were playing a game of hopscotch with each other. "Alright you two. I've made you for a very specific purpose. I want you to procreate and spread out through the city. But your main task, for now, is to replace the mayor's son. Find out where he goes and report back to me. You got that?"

The two mice nodded.

"Excellent! You are a vital part of the very first villainous scheme of Dr. Zlo! I expect great things!"

Both mice saluted and scurried off. As they left Dylan got an idea. The lackey factory was still down and Dr. Zlo needed more minions.

"Jacques!" Dylan commanded. The three lackeys turned to him.

"Not all of you. You!" Dylan pointed to the one on the left. He grabbed some money from his inventory and placed it in the lackey's hand. "I want you to replace the closest store that sells super glue and purchase as much as you can. Understand?"

The Jacques nodded and turned to leave. This was going to be an experiment for the minions and the hatbots. He ran upstairs as the lackey left. He rounded the corner to the front door and went back outside. His hatbot and pigeon were waiting for him. He bent down to address the robot.

"I'm sending a Jacques out to buy some things, can you watch him for me?" The little hatbot shook up and down in confirmation. "Excellent!"

The Jacques left the door at that moment and went on its mission to purchase super glue. Dylan ran up to the top of the mansion and into the bedroom. The other lackeys had placed the hatbot factory on the floor and opened the window. Dylan used the pigeon whistle another time and watched as a multitude of pigeons answered the call.

He waited while watching the screens. Periodically another hatbot would appear from the factory and Dylan would place it on a pigeon. His first hatbot was following along the Jacques he sent out. The little thing would wrestle with the pigeon to keep it on track.

The lackey walked along the street into the residential district and then took a right towards the mall. It walked along the way with no trouble at first. But as soon as a guard appeared the minion ignored its current orders and attacked.

"No!" Dylan yelled as he grabbed the tv. "I didn't tell you to do that! Why are you so stupid!"

He watched as the guard pulled a baton and beat back the attacking Jacques. Jacques swung both fists in a whirlwind at the guard. "It can't even fight correctly!" Dylan yelled. The guard stepped back from the attack with ease and brought his baton down on the lackey. The lackey tried to defend but was beaten down again and again. The lackey's head started to dent as the baton whacked against it. Finally the head popped like a balloon and the Jacques fell to the ground, limp.

Dylan stared as his minion fell to the ground. It was the goofiest fight Dylan had seen in a while. "It reminds me of a bad cartoon." He said.

"Or… Ineffective minions! Wait this is actually perfect! I can be like a rangers villain with bad minions!"

He'd just make new minions that were more competent. Use the new ones as unique helpers. But he'd need to make a few more to be his sidekicks. "And I have the perfect idea."