Hikaru ga Chikyuu ni Itakoro……
DramaCD, 2 - What am I doing here!?

DramaCD, Chapter 2: What am I doing here!?

(Buzzing)

Honoka: Hello hello? Michiru? What’s the matter…eh? You’re worried about me? Why? I’m not worried about what happened at the pool at all…I’m not lying, I’m fine…I’m really really fine here! I’m hanging up here!

Honoka: Ahh…seriously, now even Michiru’s worried about me. I should be having the image of a reliable big sister here, right? Why did I end up like this…?

Honoka: Akagi’s still angry, right? Uuu…I’m definitely hated here. What do I do? This is terrible! Ahhh, if only I did hold onto Akagi’s beach pants, he wouldn’t have his butt exposed like that…what am I thinking right now! No no! I can’t touch a boy’s beach pants at all!

Mami: Mama, that big sister seems to be muttering to herself, frustrated about something.

Honoka: Eek!

Mother: Shh, Mami, you’re too loud here. Don’t look at her in the eyes.

Honoka: And now I’m treated as a suspicious person…this is horrible! Argh, seriously, I might as well go home now. Even if I do see Akagi now, I can’t apologize when I’m like this now. Speaking of which, how does Oumi know about the cafe Akagi often frequents!?

Honoka: I’ll just send him a mail when I get back, but how do I apologize to him? Do I go to his house directly? No no no, this is too heavy, my love, it’s too heavy!

Koremitsu: Th-those legs of yours are thick and rough like a Cedrus tree. They’re nice.

Honoka: Eh? That voice is!

Koremitsu: Why did you have to run away…damn it. On to the next one. Hey, the woman over there…I say, stop running away already.

Honoka: It’s Akagi after all. Why’s he here? And what exactly is he doing?

Koremitsu: Hey, Hikaru. I don’t seem to be getting anyone for quite a while.

Hikaru: Koremitsu, wooing girls is not hunting here. It is best not to give off the beastly ‘I will eat you up’ kind of feeling. Carnivorous men are rare, but they are popular. If it is you however, Koremitsu, I would say you are a ‘cannibal’ instead.

Koremitsu: Can that already. Anyway, what do I have to do to woo girls?

Hikaru: How about changing methods here? There is the method of walking around the corners and colliding into people. After that, you gently hold the girl you knock down and not let her fall. Ask her ‘are you alright?’, and say ‘I am fine here. To be able to meet an outstanding, adorable flower in this city and view it from up close like this, this thing known as pain has long vanished. I suppose this is what everyone calls fate.’

Koremitsu: Like I’m able to say such a thing!?

Hikaru: It’s practice.

Koremitsu: A normal conversation is much more decent than this.

Honoka: Akagi…I don’t think it’s possible…but he’s actually wooing girls!? Why!? Ah, he’s talking again. Ah, the girl ran off. Eh? He’s going to continue? She ran away. Ahh, seriously…what’s he trying to do here!? How did I start stalking him discreetly too? I shouldn’t be this kind of person here…ah, huh!? That girl didn’t run away even after Akagi talked to her! You’re kidding!! He succeeded!!?

Poor Suffering Girl: E-er-er-erm, i-i-is there something!?

Koremitsu: Right, good thing she didn’t run off now. First stage, clear!

Hikaru: Koremitsu, that girl seems to be shivering. You have to sweet talk to calm her.

Koremitsu: Sweet talk? What’s that……

Poor Suffering Girl: Hiiii…

Hikaru: Do not feel frustrated, Koremitsu. Your eyes will glare when you do so, and you will frown, making your face more savage than usual. Come on, try flattering her. Are her arms not soft and charming?

Koremitsu: An-an-anyway, your arms are rather thick.

Poor Suffering Girl: Eh?

Koremitsu: You look rather healthy there. Well, very suited for strength work. Your hair’s decent look, wavy like an inchworm.

Hikaru: KOREMITSU!!!

Poor Suffering Girl: Th-that’s horrible~!!!

Koremitsu: Tch, what was that about? I was trying to say something. Why did you run away!?

Hikaru: That was…you fault, Koremitsu.

Koremitsu: Huh?

Honoka: So he failed after all. Thank goodness…not!! Why’s he wooing girls here!? Ah, Akagi’s moving now! What do I do now!? Do I chase after him? B-but, if I’m found to be peeping on him, I’ll definitely be hated here. No no, this is for Akagi’s good. This is proper invigilation to prevent Akagi from straying off the right path. I’m not peeping on him, and I’m not a stalker here—!!!