The Beginning of The End
Chapter 64

Maddox leads me back towards the dungeons, the same place where I freed Miya days before. The same place where she nearly died before I could save her.

The same place I allowed her to be locked up whilst I lived the high life and fucked the enemy.

I'm a terrible friend, she deserves so much better.

So much better than me.

I never meant to hurt her, I never wanted anyone to hurt her, yet I let it happen, and I knew about it and did nothing to stop it.

She should hate me, but she doesn't.

She's loyal, which is more than I can say for myself.

I should burn this entire place down just for what they did to her, but that's what Darax wants, he wants me to crack.

He wants me to prove that I'm not really meant to be here, and while I want to take Miya and run, I know we won't make it far before we are caught.

Then all hell would break loose, they'd kill her in front of me.

They'd kill me.

Fuck. I don't know what to do and now I've agreed to punish those who hurt Ryker when a month ago I would have done the exact same thing.

I would have killed him if it meant it would have changed Miya and I's fate.

"You look like you are going to throw up." Maddox says with a slight smirk.

It's not funny.

"I just might do that." I whisper, my eyes on the floor.

I've never killed anyone out of anger before, only out of necessity, and only when no other option was available.

I'm not a murderer.

I'm not a cold blooded killer like them.

Yet, I can't replace a way out of it.

"I can't do this." I gasp, beginning to panic as I back away from Maddox, my heart ready to rip straight through my chest. "I can't do this." I say again, desperately trying to breathe and failing.

I'm not them.

I'm not like them.

I don't want what they want.

I'm not a murderer.

I take another step back, banging into the wall.

Maddox watches me, head tilted to the side, "you can't get revenge on those who tried to kill Ryker?” He takes a step towards me, voice hard. "You can't kill someone who tried to kill your mate?"

He's angry.

So angry.

And I'm scared, and sick, and I feel like I might pass out.

It's so easy in the heat of the moment to forget who you are because of anger.

It's easy to forget who you don't want to be, and I don't want to be like them. "Maddox, I can't." I cry, shaking as I run both hands through my hair. What would Miya think?

"You're a coward." He growls, moving closer. "You are afraid of what people might think." He wraps his hand around my throat and pins me against the wall. "You are weak."

He spits in my face.

I gasp, eyes wide.

"I'm not like you!" I scream, "I'm not a monster!"

His eyes darken, his hand tightening around my neck, "but you have killed, haven't you?" He leans in close, his breath tickling my cheek. "You have killed my kind and never once apologised for it, yet you expect me to do exactly that for killing fae." He slams me into the stone. "You are a hypocrite. You pretend to be good." He laughs bitterly. "You pretend to not want to hurt anyone, yet when you arrived you didn't care who you hurt in order to get away. You didn't care who we were, only what we've done." He drops me and I collapse into the ground, "if we did the same you'd be dead, remember that. You know nothing of the war we faced. Nothing!"

Tears are sliding down my cheeks and I sit on the floor, my heart stinging at the cruelty of his words.

Can I even deny what he's said?

How can I tell him he's wrong when all I could think about was killing everyone here to escape only hours before to save Miya?

He's right, he's so right that it hurts my mind.

"Maddox I'm so sorr-"

"Save it." He growls, punching the stone wall above me, shards of stone rain down on

me. "Get out of my sight, I'll deal with the traitors on my own."

I choke on a sob and stumble to my feet, needing the cold air, I can't breathe.

I can't breathe.

I run up the stone stairs and collapse into the snow, the bitter wind wrapping around

my body like an icy grip of death.

I've never been so hurt it my life.

Maddox's words pierced me like a knife in my gut.

He ripped out my heart and stamped on it right in front of my eyes.

Yet he never once lied.

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He only told the truth.

Sure steps forward and kneels a few inches away from me, his eyebrows drawn together in concern. "Elora? Are you ok?" His voice is so soft, he has no idea.

He has no idea how much I wanted to kill him when I met him.

He has no idea how many times I wished them all dead, including him.

They killed all of my people, they've killed thousands of fae, but Maddox was right, we

have killed them, and we aren't even sorry about it.

What if there's more to the war than what I know?

What if my people caused it somehow?

I can't take it.

I don't want to believe that we caused this.

I don't want to believe Maddox.

My mother was a part of the fae council, she was there when they were slaughtered.

She was one of the first to die.

My father said it was unprovoked. Was he wrong?

God, I don't even know.

I have no idea how all of this began, and I never through to ask, I just placed the

blame.

I didn't ask what we did.

What if my people aren't as innocent as I thought they were?

The world tilts sideways, darkness consumes me.