The Beginning of The End
Chapter 70

The walk to the village was taking forever, I mean, I'm used to walking for hours, sometimes days, resting was scarce, I always had to keep going, even when I barley had any sleep. Rest came with risks. Sleeping came with the possibility of death.

But this was different. So different. I was nervous, no, I was terrified of what I would see in the village.

I was trying very hard to hide my apprehension, but it seemed impossible, my

emotions were against me, as always, and I was losing a battle of wills with my lungs.

Soon I would be able to breathe at all.

They'd give up on me and I'd collapse.

Fuck. When did I become such a coward?

This isn't normal for me. It isn't who I want to be.

I'm not easily scared, at least, I didn't used to be. Maybe things have changed.

Maybe I have changed. The comfort I had experienced over the past few weeks was making me weak.

I was losing the edge I used to have, now I have too much time to feel my emotions instead of holding them back.

I hate it. Fuck my emotions. Fuck my anxiety.

Fuck it all.

"What are you thinking?" Maddox asks, eyes on me as we walk.

I didn't want to tell him that I was afraid, I didn't want to tell him that my mind was expecting the worst.

Just how evil could a race of shifters be?

Do they all have a lust for blood and flesh?

God, I hope not.

I didn't have the energy or power to take on an entire village of crazed monsters. "I'm nervous." I say, keeping my voice low. "I guess I don't know what to expect." He smirks, pulling me into his side so fast I stumble.

"You don't need to worry." He says, "You are the queen, you will not be harmed."

"But will anyone else?" My heart skips a beat, I didn't want to say that, not out loud.

Why do I even care about these people? My people died for these creatures, I should hate them.

I should want them all dead.

I should want to kill them myself just to get revenge, fuck the consequences.

But I don't want that.

Vengeance isn't what I want anymore. I just want to be happy.

He's silent for a tense few minutes, "It depends how they receive you; they all know

the law." He shrugs a little. "They know the consequences of defying or whatever."

How can he be so fucking chill about death?

I'm practically shaking just thinking about it.

I've seen so much of it, I've killed, I've been beaten within an inch of life, yet death still makes me uneasy.

Everything about it sets my body on fire with nerves.

"People make honest mistakes." I argue, "what about you? Have you ever made a mistake?"

"Too many to count." He says, "but I'm not a commoner. There are different rules and laws for each standing in our society." He strokes a hand down my cheek as we walk. "You'll learn eventually, I know it'll take time and I'll try to be more patient."

I scoff, silently screaming. "And if I never get used to the way things are?"

I want to argue, but I don't.

I should really learn when to keep my mind and mouth out of each others way.

I don't want to make him angry, not again. I couldn't cope in isolation again. I'd kill myself.

I've been alone before, for far too long.

I don't want that anymore.

"You will." He says with confidence.

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I stare off into the dark trees, wondering if he's right, if this will ever seem normal to me, maybe it will.

Wondering alone and fighting for my life became normal after a few months of being

on the road, it almost became a comfortable routine.

It was all I knew for years.

I had grown used to the lonely ache in my heart.

But I can never go back to that. I refuse to live half a life.

I want to cherish the time I have; nothing is ever promised. Life isn't easy, but it's

worth living.

At least, I hope it is.

"We are here." Maddox says, turning my chin towards the lanterns hanging from poles, all of them shining brighter than the strange moon.

The village looked like something from a movie I had seen once, all the houses were made of old rocks, the roofs wooden.

The streets were nothing more than planks of wood nailed together to make a path, but it was beautiful. Candles were everywhere, wooden stands lining the streets with people behind them, selling all sorts of things that I couldn't see from this far away.

I wanted to get closer. I wanted to see more.

It was so strange, if I wasn't seeing it with my own eyes, I'd think it was some sort of fever dream.

Maybe it is a fever dream, it's too strange to be real.

There were people as far as the eye could see, but none of them were human, not one. And it was completely obvious that I stood out.

Some had leather or feathered wings, others had claws and yellow eyes. There were so many variations of people that I realised I know absolutely nothing about this realm.

I know nothing about the creatures who live here.

Even the children didn't look like children, they looked like horror movie characters. But they were innocent.

I was the odd one out, the one who didn't belong here.

"Maddox." I whisper, clinging to his arm. "They are all so different."

He laughs, low and hard. "Not what you expected?"

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I shake my head, "I could have never expected this. Not in a million life times." I say. "I

look so far fetched compared to them all. Like I'm the one who isn't real."

Maybe I'm not real at all, maybe everything I knew was a lie.

"None of them are violent." He tells me, pulling me further into the village, even as I

try to pull away. "The village is peaceful, and they welcome all who venture here." He smiles at me so warmly it causes my heart to ache. "The market here is one of the most popular in all the realm."

How could I have ever been so wrong about a race?

I expected them to be evil.

I wanted them to be evil.

But they are... Normal.

They are just people trying to live their lives, and even as I watch it's all so average, conversations about the weather. Children asking for things their parents can't afford

to buy. People buying their weekly food.

It reminds me of my home, of the way humans are, they just don't look the same.

This can't be happening.

I thought seeing how bad they are would make my decision to destroy them solid. But

it has done the opposite.

If I hurt these people I would be just as bad as Darax, maybe worse.

"I finally understand." I tell Maddox. "I know what you were trying to tell me."

These people do not deserve to die for the decisions of their leader.

War is ugly, and cruel, but I don't have to be.

I can learn to be different, revenge isn't everything, and sometimes, it's better to just

let your hatred go, even if it hurts.

And it does hurt, it tears into my muscle and rips it apart, it takes my heart and

squeezes until it can no longer beat.

It's time for change.

It's fine for me to be angry, it's fine for me to not forget. But maybe I need to try and forgive, if I can.

But one thought become more and more important to me, and I know that Darax had

hurt these people, threatened to destroy them, just like he did my home.

I need to help Maddox and Ryker destroy him.

He needs to die before he does to this realm what he did to mine.