The Beginning of The End
Chapter 78

I want to go to sleep, that's all I want, it's all I need. I need to rest, the last several days have been my own personal version of hell.

I'm certain that my mates are trying to kill me.

They've had me training with them and Suer every single day, for hours, sometimes I can't ever stand due to exhaustion, but then when I come back to my room to rest, my mind comes alive again.

It haunts me with images of corpses twisted in ungodly ways, and I know that I am the one responsible, it's just dreams, for now.

But soon, real soon, it may very well become my reality.

I don't want to hurt anyone, and I have said that a thousand and one times, I have begged, and I have shouted and screamed, nothing makes them change their mind.

I could get down on my knees and cry like a bruised child and they still wouldn't understand my reluctance. Maddox kills so easily that I think he might have even done in by accident a few times, all he has to do is change forms and he becomes one of the deadliest creatures alive.

He is a hellhound after all, or whatever they call themselves.

Ryker is exactly the same, and he doesn't even have to shift, he can breathe fire in

both forms, he can burn a body alive with just an exhale of oxygen.

I'll never be able to do it. No matter how much they teach me.

I jump when the door connecting mine and Miya's rooms opens, my dearest friend walking in with concern painted across her face.

"I heard you screaming again." She says softly, closing the door.

"Just a bad dream." I whisper, "I'll be alright."

"I believed you when you said that three days ago." She says, "I even believed you when you said the same thing yesterday." She walks across the room and sits down on the bed. "But I don't believe you today." She takes my hands, her voice stronger than before. "You have to tell me whats going on with you Elora, we used to tell each other everything, why not confide in me now?"

I stay silent, playing with the corners of the blanket that lay across my lap.

What could I even say?

I can't tell her that I'm a coward, not when both of our lives depend on me.

The lives of so many depend on me.

"Elora." She snaps, hitting me on the arm. "I won't stand for your silence, you either tell me or I will march straight out of this room, replace one of the kings and demand that they tell me what they have done to you."

She sounds so angry, yet her voice quakes. She's worried. Afraid.

So am I.

"They're training me." I say with a sigh, rubbing my eyes. "They're training me to kill shifters."

I feel her tense. Her entire body goes so rigid that I'm afraid her spin might snap in half.

"Why would they do that?" She asks, "They know how you feel about killing, I thought you already talked to them about it, I thought you were going to sit out of the fighting."

I laugh nervously, pulling at the dead spin on my fingers. "I lied." I say. "I didn't want you to worry, so I lied. They're making me fight, I have no choice." I fall forward, burying my face in the mattress. "I don't want to hurt anyone but if I don't they'll lose the war."

My voice is muffled by the bed, but I don't care, why should I? She is just going to hate me anyway.

I love spending time with Ryker and Maddox, and our bonds are getting much stronger, but at the same time, i don't want to get out of bed to meet them every day. I'd rather hide away in my room like the failure I am.

I hate myself. I'm weak.

Miya scoffs, making me sit up. "Elora, you killed their kind the first day i met you, I know that you can."

I frown, "I never said I can't do it." I say. "It is more that I won't do it. I don't want to kill for them. It isn't who i am."

Miya looks at me like i have three heads and a tail, maybe I do, I feel like an animal.

I feel less than human even considering doing what they ask of me.

"So are you the type of person to watch those you care about die when you can prevent it?!" She asks, crossing her arms.

I grow at the tone of her voice, "Of course I'm not."

"It isn't about morals Elora, it's about what you are willing to do to save the people you care about." She takes my hand, gently rubbing circles on my palm. "You can drown in your own conscious when the war is over, because right now you don't have the luxury of losing your shit."

I groan, throwing my head back. "I don't want to be known for killing a king." I sigh. "I just want things to be different."

"The only way that things will change is if you take charge and change them yourself." She shakes her head, "This isn't a game of guess who, we know what Darax has done to your people." Her eyes darken. "WE know what he did to my family, to our world. He deserves to be destroyed. He is the worst monster we have ever come across." She rubs a hand over the tears in her eyes. "I'm not ready to die Elora, I'm not ready to give up."

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She's right.

Of course, she is right. She's the smartest person I know.

It's either him and his people, or us. There is no hope for a future whilst he is alive, and

that means that I have to destroy him.

I promised Miya that I would protect her.

I promised Ryker and Maddox that I would help them to win.

I can't back out now because I am afraid of what will happen to my immortal soul.

Fuck the afterlife.

I want to fight for this life.

I want to fight for Miya's happy ending.

"You're right." I shake my head, "I should've come to you sooner, I'm sorry."

She pulls me closer to her, wrapping her arms around me and holding me. She holds

me the way my mother used to when she knew I was dying inside.

She has a similar effect on me. She can comfort me the way that no one else can.

"I believe in you, Elora." She says into my hair. "I know you can do this; I've seen your strength and I admire it every single day." She laughs a little, "But you can be real stupid sometimes."

Maybe I was worried about nothing, maybe everything will be ok.