The Beginning of The End
Chapter 85

Maybe Henri was right, maybe I wasn't responsible for all the suffering and pain Miya has been through, but I was a part of it. Some of it happened because of who and what I am, and I don't think I'll ever be able to forgive myself for the part I have played in her pain.

I want to take it all away. I want to allow her time to heal.

But yet again, something terrible has happened and now she is missing.

I wish I could ask her to forgive me, but I know she doesn't blame me, not for any of it. She'll argue that it isn't my fault. She'll say I'm overthinking it all, and maybe I am, but we still can't replace her, and the longer it takes the more my mind sways towards the worst.

What if she's dead?

What if she was captured by a vamp?

I have no idea what she is going through right now, and no matter how much I want to help her, I don't even know where to start.

I know nothing about this world, nothing that could help me locate her. I don't even know what part of the realm I am in. I don't know anything about the world I have been brought to. The world I brought her to.

I just have to sit here and wait for news, and it's driving me insane.

When Ryker came to see me, he had no news, and I don't know if that's a good thing, or the worst possible outcome. No news isn't exactly bad news, but it isn't good news either.

I want... no, I need her to be ok.

She's my best friend, I can't do this without her.

Henri keeps trying to keep me calm, and I know he's doing it so I don't fly of the rails and hurt someone, especially seen as my powers can be linked to emotion.

But he's also driving me to my limits. If I hear him say "it isn't your fault" or "you need to think about what's best for your mates" one more time, I'm going to flay him alive and feed the pieces to other hellhounds.

Suer steps into the room, his eyes heavy and tired. "Maybe we should get you to bed, it's been a long day.". He says. "The others will continue the search."

"I can't." I say in a panic, jumping to my feet. "Miya hasn't been found yet, she could be hurt, or lost. I can't just give up."

"You're not giving up." Henri says, his hand landing on my shoulder. "But you won't be any good to her if you are falling asleep."

"You really think I can just go to sleep while she's out there somewhere?" I'm growing angry. My power is rising. "You think I can just stand by and watch her disappear without trying to replace her? She could be hurt!"

"You can't do much just sitting here." Suer argues, black eyes flashing. "You know that as well as I do. We have people out watching for her, and as soon as they replace something, you'll be the first to know." He softens his voice. "But you are tired. You need to rest."

"You shouldn't talk to the Queen that way." Henri growls, blocking me from Suer's path.

I place my hand on Henri's shoulder, "he's right." I whisper. "I'm being selfish." Tears slide down my cheeks. "I'm just so worried that something terrible has happened to her."

"It may have." Henri says, "she may be dying."

I'm going to smack him at the side of the head.

I'm going to cut him into plying pieces and scatter them around the castle.

"But." He continues, "sitting here and worrying yourself into an early grave won't change any of that, it'll only make you less able to help her when she is found."

Maybe I shouldn't chop him up, at least, not yet.

He's making a lot of sense, even if I don't want to admit it.

I'm tired, searching the grounds all day without food, or rest, it's exhausting. But I can't help but think what Miya is going through will be much worse than this.

But he's right, I can't help her if I'm not up to the task, and right now I can barley stand up straight.

I'm exhausted.

I need to sleep.

I heave a heavy sigh, "Suer, take me to bed." I murmur, "Henri, ask the chefs to make some snacks for those on patrol and those who are still searching." I head for the door. "It's going to be a long night for everyone."

"Yes my Queen." They say in unison.

Henri heads towards the kitchen, Suer takes my hand and guides me towards the stairs.

Planning your weekend reading? Ensure you're on novi L5s.com for uninterrupted enjoyment. The next chapter is just a click away, exclusively available on our site. Happy reading!

Suer looks uncomfortable as we make the climb up the stairs, his eyes darting all around us in worry. "Henri is harsher than most, but he's one of the most powerful men we have, and he's loyal." He says. "I know for certain he won't betray you, a lot of the men here have been waiting centuries for a Queen."

My heart shatters.

I'm not the Queen they all hoped I'd be, I'm just a fae who's lost her place amongst her own people.

"Why do they hope for a Queen?" I ask, curious.

"Because they hope for something better than war, and the arrival of a new Queen brings the promise of heirs." He says, immediately noticing my hesitation. "No one expects you to accept all of this straight away, Elora. Everyone knows that you need time to adjust."

Maybe I'll never adjust.

"We just started a war." I say with a yawn. "Now is not the right time for children." Suer laughs, "Is there ever a right time?"

No. There isn't.

My parents found that out the hard way.

Maybe I will too. One day.

One day far, far in the future.